Last Tuesday morning I confessed that I have a “fight response” in certain social situations, and that it is interfering with my wellbeing. I had seen that it is a pattern across various social groups. It happens in response to leaders who seem to press a point of view that I find mistaken, or at least mistaken as it applies to me and the people for whom I have particular affection.
I did something that, to my memory, I have never done before. Borrowing from the 12 step program, I admitted that I am powerless over my fight response. It felt completely true. When I shared this with a friend and teacher, she said that it was beautiful. She said that there is power in admitting powerlessness. I was immediately in tears, and I felt an immediate shift in my inner emotional life. The fight response energy evaporated, and it was just me, humbled, which is to say, true.
Beautiful 
Your post resonates with me on various levels. I struggled with drinking alcohol recently, attended some AA meetings, and adopted the approach of acknowledging how I was “powerless” over the habit. Immediate and effective transformation.
I have taken to meditation like a fish to water, because it is an “active” exercise of powerless-ness, an active surrender to this calming whirlwind of energy that I am just beginning to discover in our nervous system. Beautiful.
Humm. That is a new angle for me to ponder.
hey bewell this is awesome experience!