I’ve been a seeker since I was a little girl. I was raised nominally protestant, but not really practicing. I remember feeling a connection to the broad depth of the ocean and the vastness of the night sky. I often laid awake wondering who God was and felt an almost physical longing to know. I even fantasized about becoming a nun! I spent my early adulthood trying to find “truth” in the traditional way - through church. I joined the Catholic Church (by then married, no cloister for me!), then revisited mainstream Protestantism, then conservative, evangelical Christianity. Still, nothing rang true or really satisfied. There always seemed to be a layer of separation there, and even just plain old illogic. If God is so loving, then why does he exclude/damn those who he didn’t happen to call to the church? But I really didn’t know where else to look. I had a rather miraculous experience with immediate answered prayer, outside of the church experience, so I sensed that there really WAS a great power out there and I had access to it somehow, but I had no idea how. So my seeking was kind of on hold. Meanwhile the big 5-oh was rapidly approaching and I was feeling fat and frumpy, so I started working out. Did spinning to lose weight, weights to tone and…yoga for flexibility. My wonderful “gym yoga” teacher sent me to a yoga studio where I was exposed to meditation. After the first or second attempt at meditaion, I had some quite wonderful and intense experiences. Then “out of nowhere” I received an invitation to join AYP, so here I am (or AYAM)
I think there were a lot of “moments” that I didn’t appreciate at the time, but these two came immediately to mind.
- I’m about 11 years old, riding bycycles with friends along a dry creek bed in summer in San Jose. Under eucaliptus (sp?) trees, hot, and crickets really loud. No hint of water in the creek. First clear experience of deep, “is this all there is,” angst. I was going to church on Sundays with my family, but that didn’t seem like any kind of solution; it was part of the problem.
- My father worked in Europe for two years in my middle teenage years. I don’t think I precisely conceived of myself as an athiest, but I basically wanted nothing to do with God, and as far as I could see, God wanted nothing to do with me. Still, we visited a lot of churches and cathedrals, and I used to love to go to the “Lady Chapel,” and light a candle. I still wanted nothing to do with “The Lawd Almighty,” but I could talk to Mary, I liked her company.
I guess that four decades later I can see the main features of my current spiritual aspirations in those two vignettes.
well i was around 7 or 8 , when i went to holidays to my village, and there i met this person who was a brahmakumari(a religious path) who used to read some pages from thier books, and he asked me some questions like where is hell and heaven, what happens when one die, why does the godess potraied with 10 or more hands?..i gave some silly answers but, he answered me with a simple logic, that i could understand crytal clear. this is when i have started my spirutual journey…though in that age i dint knew why,where,how to head. later there was a great depression and spirutual crashdown for about 10 yrs, then i happend to buy a spirutual magazine that exposed me to healing and mantras when i was doing my graduation. and when i happend to my spirutual teacher, Mr.K.B.Gopalkrishnan. my life changed, the answers i was searching for, the peace that i wanted, i pain that was there in my life…all stareted to openen up…may be when i left him…i understood…Why,how to head towards god. i take this opportunity to thank him again.
Life Under Construction—www.gosay.tk—
I fought with an entity…and didn’t know the forces were with me all my life…
Hi everyone… great topic… thanks for all your answers.
For me, when I was a child I would speak to God and God would speak back.
Growing up in Ireland, a mostly catholic country, I had parents who were mixed - my Mum was prodestant (sp?) - my Dad catholic. I got it at an early age that religion was mute/ man made for me. I was into the direct experience.
I would often have experiences where I was walking along the main street and forget which person I was, which body was mine. It seemed to not make any difference.
When I was about 9 or 10, I was lying in bed falling asleep when this huge ball of white light came in my room through the door and engulfed me. I was terrified. I couldn’t move or speak or open my mouth. My eyes where open. I was very much awake. I was paralysed. After about 20 minutes or so I finally was able to get up and I ran downstairs to my sister.
After that I always felt so close to God. I always talked etc.,
Then when I turned 13, I became vegetarian and a friend taught me how to meditate though I really didn’t start seriously unitl I was about 18.
I too thought of becoming a nun/monk etc., but that was not my karma.
My one burning ambition is to be able to hold unto those divine experiences 24/7. Aim high right:-)?
Babaly