Although I did not have this problem as a small child, since around the time I became a teenager, I had a problem I’ve heard called “shy bladder”–namely, I have had difficulty urinating when near others, such as in a busy public restroom. A minor nuisance, but connected to energy “blockage”? Here’s what makes me think so:
Recently, this problem is better. I realized that, in order to urinate, I have to relax what feels sort of like a center-line of nerves/muscles running down the middle (not just, or even primarily in the pelvic area) that has become more perceptible and directly controllable through yoga. Perhaps due to some sort of sexual hangup (I guess this because of the appearance of the problem around the time I knew about sex), I realized that, when attempting to urinate near others, I was having trouble relaxing this part of me that I feel recently more aware of.
Recently this “middle line” down my front is more perceptible and can all be physically flexed or relaxed consciously. It all connects to the same part of the stomach as moves during nauli, but it runs all the way from the throat, down through the chest, and into the pelvic area. I guess this is not the sushumna but probably more like the front meridian, given it is not located within the spine, but it does feel sort of like I’m growing aware of “chakras,” insofar as I feel something at the throat, heart, etc. (it feels like there is still some “blockage” there, but that they have “loosened up” significantly).
When doing SBP now, I like to expand these parts along with the rest of the belly, chest, etc. as I move up with the intention. I guess this would not be considered a “non-standard” application of AYP technique but just a natural outgrowth of the frontal aspect of the chakras becoming more relaxed?
Back to the issue of urination, though it’s possible my “chakras” were having this tightening up reaction in response to some kind of psycho-social hangup, the fact that, whether or not around others, and whether or not having trouble, the process of urinating itself seems to require a degree of relaxing these “chakras” (if that is what I’m perceiving) is interesting, given the areas of yoga Yogani has associated with the bladder: amaroli is orally recycling the urine from the bladder, vajroli is sucking up sexual essences into the bladder where, as I understand it, they may also be further transmuted into e.g., soma. Perhaps the bladder is just a key point along the pathway, with the digestive system and throat being others, where the “nectar cycle” occurs? And perhaps we need to relax our chakras to urinate because urination is part of that cycle?
I posted this in “Pranayama” (mods feel free to move) because in terms of any practical implications, it seems like it might be most relevant there. I still don’t feel like I perceive the sushumna as something like a string of light in my spine very clearly at all, but I can perceive this frontal line that I can expand when inhaling quite clearly. I also feel like I may have begun to perceive the ida and pingala more clearly, sort of like criss-crossing lines leading up to the top of each nostril.
I wonder to what extent I should keep trying to imagine something moving up my back (I’ve always been bad at visualizations) and to what extent I can try to just move my intention up and down the middle as I expand these lines of energy I’m recently more aware of. Thanks for any thoughts!