Uncontrived vs Contrived (conceptualized) awareness of the present moment
Discuss 
devastating. confusing.
when you stumble upon uncontrived awareness, it has a habit of exposing all of your aspiration, all of your spiritual desire, as just more illusion and posturing. you realize that all the âholinessâ and âawarenessâ youâve cultivated is comprised of deepening levels of pretension, new psychological conditioning that is keeping you off the true path.
but i canât decide which is more authentic - OCD mothering of myself into conceptualized awareness or just letting go, giving in to everywhere Shakti leads me, including the levels of sleep I havenât yet transcended, with the faith that blossoming awareness will finally penetrate those areas of my consciousness regardless of what I do. guessing itâs closer to the latter.
No.
<3