Hello. I’ve been doing AYP on and off since 2007, so I consider myself pretty familiar with the practice of DM. I recently got back into the routine a few weeks ago and I’m noticing an interesting development.
At first, the mantra, which was quite familiar and easy to summon, was easy to focus on. After a few weeks, however, it feels like my brain recognizes the mantra as “oh yeah, the mantra…same old thing” and then wanders elsewhere. I understand the protocol for this kind of thing is to simply favor the mantra, which I do, but it really feels like my sessions are very unfocused. I’m not particularly stressed, and there is no obvious external reason why this is occurring. As I mentioned, it feels like my brain just sees the mantra as something so familiar that it doesn’t warrant the attention, so it goes completely elsewhere until I realize it, and favor the mantra…but the attention is so fleeting. I feel like it didn’t used to be this way, and it is frustrating. Although Yogani says to “gently” favor the mantra, I’m finding myself considering the idea of dharana (one pointed focus) and really trying to laser in on the mantra, but this of course feels more forced than what I know is in the teachings.
Does anyone have an input on this? Suggestions on how to “refresh” the mantra? I’d really appreciate it. Thanks!
Hi ant,
you have been practicing AYP much longer than me, so my advise might not be very useful.
Of course, as you say, the general advise is to trust that DM is working towards its long term goals no matter whether individual meditation sessions, or even several consecutive sessions, feel less deep than usual (or less deep than they “ought to be” according to the bliss seeking mind), and so one should simply continue practicing without tweaking the DM method to try to achieve some state.
However, in my experience, there is a way of influencing and increasing the level of effortless focus during deep meditation by doing little things right before sitting down for deep meditation.
I sometimes remind myself how fascinating, precious and miraculous the mantra and the process of deep meditation is, that I know I can ride it to bliss and silence if I don’t try to achieve anything but just let it do its thing while allowing myself to be fascinated by it and the process.
This is not a conscious thought that I formulate in my mind, but something that sometimes comes up automatically and I think it helps changing my subconscious attitude towards deep meditation.
Of course I don’t try to remind myself of this during deep meditation, as this would be tweaking the method. It’s something that I sometimes do half-consciously right before sitting down.
I understand now that people having a little ritual before meditation, like lighting incense, a candle or sitting in front of some altar, etc. might achieve a similar thing: a last minute reminder to subtly influence their subconscious attitude towards the forthcoming session so there is more likely an effortless focus on the process of meditation present.
Hi ant,
I would agree with Tensor, that performing a short ritual before meditation such as lighting a candle can be a help by reminding us that we are doing something sacred.
Also, do remember that the Deep Meditation procedure is designed to purify the mind and heart (chitta). Part of that process of purification is to remove obstructions in the subtle nervous system and this can in turn throw up thoughts and emotions in the mind, which can distract us from the mantra. So, paradoxically, the very procedure of Deep Meditation can, at a certain stage, make it more difficult to remain with the mantra. This can manifest in many ways, including very powerful emotions or thoughts arising that are difficult to cope with, or simply a general dullness and lack of concentration, or even drowsiness to the point of constantly falling asleep during meditation. It is all past karmas being released in various ways.
Luckily it is only a phase and will not last forever. But it is important to have faith in the process, in order to be able to move through this phase. The dullness, and lack of focus that can arise, can often be as difficult to work through as any powerful memories or emotions arising. If we are able to work through this phase, then we eventually come out the other side with more clarity and energy and with a more balanced mind and heart.
I recorded a short podcast on this aspect of the spiritual path last year which is here:
https://youtu.be/gLNlTjN4NhM
Hello! Thanks for the response. Although I picked AYP up back in 2007, I’ve been on-and-off, so my experience is sporadic. But I feel very solid being back in the practice. So it is odd that, while I am not used to meditation as a daily practice anymore, the mantra is still baked in pretty well in my brain. That is good advice about accepting the session for what it is, and trusting that the work is being done.
Thank you for the advice! I suppose the best thing is to just keep on with it. As far as a ritual, I do 5 minutes of SBP before meditation, so I considered that to be a pretty powerful workup to the meditation. I’m able to focus on the SBP more easily than the mantra, which certainly was not the case in the past. I don’t have much conductivity, but for some reason I focus on it easier.
Also, are you THE Tristan? I’ve been out of the loop for many years. I remember your screenname from way back, but I never knew who it was of course.
If it makes you feel any better Ant, I am eleven years AYP, the past seven in a conductive body. In spite of this I am often “elsewhere” in DM, either in life thoughts or scenery, sometimes for much of the session. Earlier on this bothered me a lot. Now, not at all. With witnessing thoughts over time, judgements about them have dropped away. “Oh, I am off the mantra” leads simply to getting back on. Every moment on your meditation seat moves you along in some way.
Hi ant,
Christi was a nickname I picked up in South India around 25 years ago, as many people found it hard to say “Tristan”. Tristan is my given name. See here
I’ve had a similar experience recently. I’ve had what I consider deep and good meditations with the mantra, but lately they are more shallow and dull. It’s discouraging and makes me think I’m doing something wrong. I know for men, the amount of sexual energy in reserve can play a big part in whether the practice is deep or shallow. I think there is more mental engagement in the beginning when it’s new, but hopefully the dry phases are something that can be moved past in time. I think shaktipat would make a huge difference, but that is something not encouraged here. I’ve never sought it out, but these dry phases make me consider trying to go somewhere to receive shaktipat.
It could be as Tristan says, that obstructions are run into, that take time to work out. I’m not sure how that correlates to the feeling of a dull or stale practice, unless it slows down the flow of energy at the level the obstruction is at.
Best wishes for moving past this stale feeling phase in your practice!
Hi Green Tea,
Yes, when deep-rooted obstructions are run into this can be experienced in many ways. One way is that the mind becomes very scattered and is constantly becoming lost in thoughts. Another way is that the mind can feel very dull and foggy. We can begin becoming drowsy during meditation and even start falling asleep when before we may have felt very alert and awake during practices.
Other ways in which deep-rooted obstructions (samskaras) can be experienced are pain in certain parts of the body, strong mood swings, powerful emotional states and so on. These are not always negative. For example we may suddenly feel that the spiritual path is the most important thing in the world, and is the only thing worth dedicating our life to. But then the next day we may feel it is all hopeless and we will never get anywhere!
Getting past the stage where we are dealing with deep-rooted obstructions is not easy, and when people fall off the spiritual path, it is most often because they hit this stage and do not have enough bhakti (spiritual desire) to carry themselves through it.
But, once through this stage, the spiritual path becomes much easier. Everything becomes very simple, with no big ups and downs. There is much more equanimity, peace and clarity. So it is worth making the effort. Time is the most useful commodity, as the obstructions can only last for so long before they dissolve. And, as it says in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, at a certain stage on the path new beneficial samskaras arise that help to dissolve the negative samskaras. So, we get a little help from the universe. 
Hi Tristan,
That’s a problem I’ve had over the years; not being able to get past a certain point because of difficult symptoms and inconsistent fruits, and unwisely stopping and losing momentum and coming back to it later. It’s even more difficult when my external life isn’t great either, so neither the spiritual nor worldly life are that great.
Hi Green Tea,
One of the problems with the spiritual path is that it is often presented as if seen through rose-tinted glasses. Things tend to be stated in very simplistic terms, as if life with a spiritual practice just gets better and better. Simply knowing that there are energetic and emotional ups and downs on the spiritual path, and karmic residue that sometimes needs to be worked through, can be very valuable. And sometimes the karmic residue can be like wading through thick mud!
Persistence is important, otherwise it can be a case of climbing the spiritual ladder for a while, and then stopping practices due to frustration, or lack of will, and sliding back to the bottom again, only to pick up practices again some time later. Of course, everyone should self-pace their practices if they experience energetic overload, but that is different than stopping because the expected fruits are not showing themselves at the right time.
It is actually best not to expect anything good to come from our practice in the first few years. It is best to expect to come up against our own issues, limitations and disappointments, and to have to sit through that for quite some time. That way, what happens is much more likely to be in line with our expectations! The good stuff generally comes later.
On my Deep Meditation online video course I talk quite a bit about the importance of managing expectations correctly. It can make the difference between falling off the path completely and becoming enlightened.
That course can be found here:
Hi Tristan,
Are samskaras and entities related/the same thing? Are you referring to what in shamanic cultures are often described as ‘spirit guides’ when you talk about ‘positive samskaras’?
Hi Tom,
Samskaras and entities are different things. An entity is a being that is conscious of its environment and has an etheric body of some kind. So, ghosts, demons, nature spirits, angels, spirit guides, ascended masters, Gods etc. are all entities. Those that generally help humans like angels and ascended masters are called “higher entities” and those that are usually unhelpful or even potentially harmful, are called “lower entities”. Then there are some that are quite neutral towards humans.
A samskara on the other hand is a certain powerful tendency in the mind and heart. So, a tendency to become emotionally attached to people is a samskara. A tendency to fall into depressive states would be a samskara. The Sanskrit word for habit is vasana, so a samskara is a strong vasana.
Ok so a strong vasana that is positive would be for example, a habit of finding stillness during daily life, or witnessing thoughts and releasing them into stillness?
Yes, that is correct.
There is a “tipping point” that happens on the spiritual path where our positive samskaras begin to outweigh our negative ones. The path becomes very easy once this happens. It is a bit like doing the hard work of cycling to the top of the hill, and then being able to free-wheel down the other side. We still have to do something - sit on the bike and balance - but it is much easier!
When I started AYP I was under the impression that progress meant ‘more’ practices rather than fewer, but I seem to just be getting more and more sensitive and doing less and less. I’ve dropped the mantra in favor of passive awareness, which seems to enable me to do samyama again, which I couldn’t manage with the mantra (IAM). Does this sound like correct practice to you? Or would I be better to drop samyama and just do a shorter meditation with the mantra? I seem to ‘nod out’ in a haze of bliss using the mantra and it seems to make me more susceptible to overload. Thanks, Tom
Hi Tom,
Yes, that is absolutely correct practice. In fact, there is a bell curve which most people follow, where they start out being less sensitive to practices, then go through a phase of being more sensitive and needing to cut back, and finally coming out of that phase and being able to do a lot of practices if they want to.
During the sensitive stage, it is not usually simply a case of becoming more sensitive to all practices. It is common for people to become more sensitive to specific things such as mantras, or specific pranayamas like kumbhaka (breath retention).
So, if you do find you experience energetic overload due to the mantra then cutting back to breath meditation, or the passive awareness technique would be the right thing to do. And if this means you are then able to do more of other practices such as samyama, that is a good thing.
Self-pacing becomes quite an art, and if we can manage it well, then we can move through the sensitive stage with few difficulties.
Great, thanks Tristan 