I’m reaching out because I don’t know anyone around me who understands what I’m going through. I live in Iran and there are no teachers or guides here familiar with Kundalini.
About 3 years ago, my Kundalini awakened completely spontaneously — I had no spiritual practice at the time and no knowledge of what Kundalini even was. It happened suddenly. I saw golden light and experienced all the classic awakening signs at once. It was overwhelming but also beautiful.
For the first year or so things were intense but manageable. Then, roughly 2 years after the awakening, something shifted. I started experiencing what I can only describe as a “dark phase”:
- I see frightening faces and shadow figures with my eyes open, 3–4 times a day
- When I close my eyes and go deep, I sometimes suddenly see one of them nearby
- At night, before or during sleep, I feel attacked — like something grabs me, touches me, or laughs in a terrifying way near me
- I see doorways or portals opening
- There is a golden light around me that gives me hope and I hold onto it
I’ve been holding on for a while now, mostly alone. I’m not in crisis — I’m coping — but I want to understand what’s happening and whether others have been through this and found peace on the other side.
My main fears are:
Did my Kundalini rise incorrectly?
Are these entities real external beings or projections of my psyche — and does it matter which?
Has anyone gone through this dark phase and actually reached genuine peace — not just “coping” but real light and transformation?
I would deeply appreciate hearing from anyone who has walked a similar path. Thank you for being here.
I’m sorry to hear you have been struggling with this!
What you are experiencing sounds like ‘entity’ attacks. Its something that some people go through and others don’t seem to.
I’ve gone through it myself, the way to stop it is to stop giving these entities your attention.
1 - yes, your kundalini is fine.
2 - whichever way you prefer to think about it. Doesn’t matter. (Your mind may tell you otherwise)
3 - yes it is completely possible to get through it and come to a stage where they will not bother you.
Basically these things feed on your awareness, because awareness is energy, if you obsess over them and identify with the phenomena you ‘feed’ them and they grow stronger.
When you notice them you should immediately withdraw your awareness from them, dissolving them into silence. They will keep coming back for a while, but just keep ignoring them.
Check out Tristan’s video on this for more information-
I went through this. There were some demonic characters and later menacing humans who would sometimes lunge at me. This was all in my mind (eyes closed) and just for a brief flash. I am a very anxious guy and oddly I didn’t get to freaked out about it and eventually they went a way.
I am seeing things now with eyes closed but the images are more faint and they are bothering me even less. These are human and might be from another time, I am not sure… I also see a lot of gnashing teeth and this does get to me a little bit but I am trying not too make top much of it. Oh, and on a couple of occasions I saw smiling human faces who seemed loving or to care about me. That was very nice… It looks like you’ve gotten some good advice above and I just wanted to let you know that this can pass.
Hi Mehrban,
Welcome to the AYP forum!
You already have some good answers, but let me add a bit about my own experiences with the dark stuff.
In April last year I had an experience where a (most likely narcissistic and dealing with dark energies themselves) family member “broke into my energy field”. This caused all sorts of really unpleasant emotions and a quite unpleasant experience where my subtle nervous system contracted and darkness entered my body. The instability of the whole situation also contributed to me going into bad energetic overload.
This marked the beginning of a pretty difficult phase, where I would see darkness in the environment all around me and me occasionally seeing frightening beings. Whether this was actually real or a projection of my psyche or a mix of both, I can’t really say. It’s probably all connected anyway.
As time went on, however, things got better. Somewhere along the lines I started to have certain insights. I had been holding on to a certain image of how things were supposed to be and identifying with the blissful and ecstatic heaven that I had been in before this all happened. As I let go of the idea that things were not supposed to be messy and dark, something shifted.
I had previously believed that enlightenment consisted of being in the bliss, the ecstasy and like being in heaven. But that turned out not to be true. The solution for me was recognizing that there is something immutable and unchanging behind it all. Somewhat like the conduit in which the light or the darkness lives within.
By now, I would say that my subtle nervous system has pretty much fully recovered. I don’t experience those things anymore.
I don’t think that there is a precise formula for how I got where I am right now. It has been the fruition of many small actions and choices that I’ve taken since then, together with a healthy dose of undefinable grace. Engaging in an appropriate amount of AYP practice and engaging with the AYP community has definitely helped me heal.
As Tom says, not engaging these dark energies is helpful. But I would say it is equally important not to push them away. This equanimity has been a key part of managing it all for me.
