I’ve meditated and stopped and started for many years. I’ve picked up meditation again ( AYP breath meditation). It puts me in a dreamlike altered state even throughout the day. When I do the I am mantra, I have a hard time functioning. I feel like I’m rocketing to another world; I become psychic, I go into trances, and a Hellish energy imbalance. Sometimes, I dissolve during meditation, and I’m just in heaven. I see myself all over the place, when it ends, it’s Hellish.
I’ve noticed through these years of meditation that there’s a state that simpler. It’s always available as long I’m not trying to do something. It feels like I come forward. It’s not an altered state at all. We all experience it. I mean everyone. It’s so ordinary. I prefer it over even the blissed out state.
Why do I have to go through all these altered states just to get to an " I’m here" state? It’s top of the line for me. Simple, simple stuff.
Maybe we have to travel on all the roads until we get home. All the things that hold, twist, create our imagine reality have to come out before we get to see the world as it is. We have to let It be. Pure simplicity.
Hi Lalow
I second Blanche.
[quote=“lalow33”]
I’ve noticed through these years of meditation that there’s a state that simpler. It’s always available as long I’m not trying to do something.
[/quote] This is the fruit of your meditation practice.
In that sentence you wrote there, I can see the answer to your ‘why’ question. Because you have experienced “all these altered states”, you are now able to recognise the “I’m here” state.
Have you considered passive awareness meditation? You have developed a good level of Silence, so it’s likely it will work for you and not have the ‘side effects’ you experience from breath or mantra meditation.
Best wishes 
I don’t know, dear, I don’t know. I have been wanting to post about this “I’m here - state” for a while but words always fail me. Words fail me now.
Hi Lalow,
I would agree with Blue, that you may be better off using the Passive Awareness Technique at this stage on your path.
Your situation is described almost exactly in lesson addition 367.4 along with Yogani’s reply to the situation.
Addition 367.4 - Passive Awareness Technique for Very Sensitive Meditators
Maybe he wrote it for you? 
As to the question of “why do we have to go through what we go through”?: The words “unfathomable karma” spring to mind!
Wishing you all the best.
Christi
its like living a whole other lifetime and then returning to the now and not really being able to explain what has changed .
the internal flight 
I haven’t read the passive awareness lesson. I don’t currently have access to it but will check it out when I do.
Hello Lalow,
You have a really good clarity, as you are able to distinguish between the “altered states” and the “simple I-come-forward state.” From your description, it appears that you realize that these “altered states” are made up by the mind. Trances, hellish energy, dreamlike states, imbalance – there are all ways for the mind to release impurities. You can change the meditation technique to slow down the rate of mental discharge, but all these impurities will still have to come out sooner or later. It is actually a good sign: trances, altered states, illusions appear for some meditators as they progress from form-states of meditation to formless-states of meditation. It is a sign of progress. Not everybody experiences them. However, they are not unusual, and various contemplative traditions have names for these experiences. In the Zen tradition they are called makyo (the demon-ghost’s cave).
I had a different variation than what you describe. Just like you, I could tell that these “perceptions” were amplified by the mind – I used to call them “monkey business.” They do pass. In a way, there are just releases from the unconscious that allow the psyche to return to its original form. They are nothing to consider deeply, or to take seriously. We just allow them, without reacting. For me it was helpful to know that others had to deal with such states on the meditation path.
Best wishes,
Blanche
Passive meditation seems to just “adjust” or fix flows or chakra spins during meditation. That’s what’s happening so far. Daily life, I still can get in the dreamlike state and have energy shooting at my heart from my lower belly; it’s just not as intense.
“not as intense” is good, isn’t it?
What do you do for grounding?
Best wishes
Hi Blue,
I walk daily. I have a pool and a garden, which I’m in daily. I do yard work like push mowings, etc.
Edited: Sometimes, I get the feeling that people I’m angry with are trying to shake me awake or circumstances or even thought loops.
[quote=“lalow33”]
I get the feeling that people I’m angry with are trying to shake me awake
[/quote]They probably do! 
All the best to you Lalow, it will smooth out in the end and it will be all worth it.
Hi all,
A chunk of my throat block dissolved, so the energy is moving down a bit better. I’m not feeling as dreamy. Hopefully, grounding activities will actually be grounding. 
Right on. 
I’m feeling like my life’s purpose is just to be a human being. It doesn’t feel like I need to transcend anything. I guess other people’s purposes are different. It’s not really kind to question others or argue or tell people what to do.
I’m not stopping meditation or anything. I’m just no longer trying to be something or really change something. I’m already human!
This sounds similar to the stage of dispassion