I have shared many of my fears on this forum and today I wanted to share some of my joy. During meditation this morning I reached a new level of inner calm and ecstasy. As I reflect on this and many similar experiences the idea of an old fashion radio dial comes to mind. As one turns the dial one hears all sorts of static until one gets closer to the channel. Fine tuning the dial at that point ultimately leads to the experience of a clear rich sound. In meditation I became aware of that ecstatic energy one is aware of at different levels depending on ones focus. I was keenly aware that energy is always there but often I just can’t feel it. These practices are wonderful in how they seem to allow for a deeper and deeper exploration into this ecstatic energy. The richness grows pared with the inner silence. When I’ve heard the statement “I am that” I wonder if it is that energy being pointed to. I also sense this energy, although accessible to me is beyond me, an amazing gift. I’ve never been a religious person but I sense this is the energy that infuses all of life, the oneness enlightened folks speak of. Thank you all for your support on this journey. I feel like it is really a homecoming, a return to a place I’ve known since I was a small child but one that has been obscured by so much pain and negativity that is projected onto each of us by less aware individuals.
All anchored by the “anti sound”, the deep well of inner silence…
Dogboy, I agree the analogy has limitations. Interestingly, as I believe I share with you, that inner silence is greeted with an inner tone that is calming.
Hi Interpaul
What will happen if you don’t fine tune the dial? Can any meditation sitting be the same like the next one? What will you do then? Slip into fear and disappointment? Wait for the next "fine tuned "sitting in order to feel joy?
Conditional joy does not seem to be joy
Fluctuating between polarities of fear and joy is not the solution either…maybe it is time to be completely comfortable with both opposites whenever they happen?
Check lesson 397 about meditation and analysis paralysis…the lesson additions are good too
Maheswari, That was a bit of a buzz kill! Seriously I appreciate your sober perspective. I did re-read lesson 397. I have fully embraced being present in the meditation sessions and favoring the mantra while meditating. I do enjoy trying to “understand” the meaning of certain experiences as they help me to continue on the path. You rightly point out the trap of feeling disappointed if/when these experiences aren’t reproduceable. This experience connected me with a knowing/experiencial connection with ecstatic bliss. Feeling that and reminding myself of how accessible it is, more and more with meditation, gives me hope and boosts my bhakti.
Hi Interpaul
Buzz is for new seekers to keep them practicing and to encourage them.One can’t stay in kindergarten the right questioning is needed to avoid looping which is what you do.
There is an ups and downs pattern in your posts, the ups /downs are enjoyable/ misery cause they give you an identity.This is how the ego thrives.
Sounds beautiful Interpaul. Thank you for sharing.
[quote=“interpaul”]
I feel like it is really a homecoming, a return to a place I’ve known since I was a small child
[/quote]Yes, you are well on your way. Godspeed
Maheswari, I felt judged by your comments. I do hear your message and am trying to understand what you are trying to communicate. The simplified version of your message seems to say “grow up and stop doing what you are doing”. If you have some wisdom you’d like to share as to HOW, I’d be interested in hearing it. I am a genuine seeker. I am in my late 50s and have been at this for a long time, although a relative newcomer to AYP. I share my experiences to connect with the community, engage in dialogue, and learn from others. My hope is honest sharing may help others who also struggle.
Hi Interpaul
I am sorry you felt judged but this was not my intention
Why would I judge you? I was in the same looping situation for years , many know that in the forums and in private emails
I do realise that my words might be too sharp noting that some traditions are similar in that regard .They use sharp words with committed students when that student is on a self sabotaging trend
I have said in previous posts that you are a serious seeker, there is no need to repeat that, just know that is the reason I post killing buzz posts for you ( from your point view).If you were new or just wasting time in the forums I would have given encouragement or not replied
There is nothing for you to do besides keeping the practices going .Just add the noticing of how the mind goes from one opposite to the other ( both opposites are to be disregarded).
What remains is a natural state, untainted with any superposition
It is like croissants, you have the plain
( natural state) croissants, then flavours are added , thym flavour, almond flavour 
Hi Interpaul,
I would just like to say that I really hope that you keep on sharing! You so often ask the questions that I would like to ask, or raise or issues that are pertinent to me also. You have a facility with words and an open honesty that exceeds mine - so I am grateful for your posts and the wisdom that flows from our community out of them. Thank you 
Natural state please elaborate Maheswari then we can get down to the nitty gritty and have proper debate about superposition ,concept ,precepts no croisants here just high brow words and there uses .
Agreed
Maheswari, Thank you for your response. I have created an image in my head of you as the stern zen master yielding a hard stick walking behind his students ready to bring them back into the moment if their minds wander. Ultimately, if one’s goal is to grow in understanding on the path, different teaching approaches are needed by different students. I appreciate you bringing your style to this forum.
Zaelithe, Your words touched me. I believe we all want to be heard and appreciated, you have done both with your loving response.
a zen master beat his student and said "you are wasting my time and enlightenment is far from your gaze "the student replied "oh master i only wish i could be as enlightened as you think you are "the master at this instant gave up his robe and bowed to the student then using his beating stick for firewood boiled some water and made tea .
Hi all,
There was a monastery in Japan where the abbot of the monastery decided to retire. He wanted to appoint one of the monks to take his place after he retired. So, he decided to have a competition where the winner would replace him. Anyone who wanted to enter could write something about enlightenment on a slate and put it outside the meditation hall. Then the next morning, the abbot would come and judge what was written on them and decide who had won.
There was one monk who was more senior than the others and everyone thought he would become the abbot’s successor. Everyone was waiting to see what he would write. He brought out his slate and on it he had written: “There is a mirror covered in dust. Through practice we slowly remove the dust. When the dust is removed, we are able to see everything clearly.”
Seeing this, everyone thought that he would win. Other monks entered and brought out their slates as well. Then a boy who worked in the kitchen came out to look at the slates. When he saw the slate written by the more senior monk, he went to get a slate of his own. On it he wrote: “There is no mirror and there is no dust, and there is no one who can clean it. Seeing this we see everything clearly”.
When the abbot came the next morning he read the slates and announced that the kitchen boy would become the next abbot.
This story is based on the teachings of advaita vedanta, which go right back to the vedas. It is not a teaching that everyone is ready to hear. Paradoxically, to be able to understand it, we have to spend a long time doing yoga practices. When we have done a lot of practice already, are ripe, and have cleared most of the dust from the mirror, then we are able to understand stories like this. Before then, they can simply be more confusing than helpful. This is what Yogani means by “relational inquiry” and why he devoted so much time explaining this concept in the Self Inquiry book.
In AYP it is left to the individual to decide when they are ready for advaita teachings. But, if they seem more confusing than helpful, then best to leave them and to focus on practice for the time being. Advaita teachings will still be there when we are ready, and by that point, we will hardly need them, because they will be all around us, everywhere we look.
This discussion may be helpful:
Self-inquiry, the witness and non-duality
Christi
Hi Kumar
What is wrong with croissants?? It is a very down to earth analogy.
As far the zen analogy you gave,I don’t think anything special about myself.
.
Hi Interpaul
Whatever image of me or anyone/anything you create is your perception.Dont hang on to them, cause things keep fluctuating and thus not true
Hi Christi,
This story typically Zen (Chan) is attributed to Houeï-Nêng. I quoted it in my newsletter no 17 with this commentary about lessons 282 and 283:
………………………………
Yogani insists that the current state of our nervous system does not allow us to perceive this reality. It is there from all eternity and we are already this reality without knowing it.
He is thus positioning in a controversy that has been going on for centuries.
Already, in the seventh century of our era, to a monk who spoke of cleansing the body and the mind:
“From time immemorial, I strive to wipe them,
So that they are not covered with dust.”
Huineng, the sixth patriarch of Chan, replied in verses that have remained famous:
“Buddha nature is always immaculate.
Where would one find dust?”
……………………………………………….
Hi Interpaul,
About ecstatic conductivity, I think lesson 258 is important.May be not now for you but perhaps in the future. That’s the state I’m in and it’s hard to deal with.
Didier
Lovely story telling, thanks Christi and Buffle, and Kumar - brilliant little story, very wise and very funny.
[quote=“kumar ul islam”]
oh master i only wish i could be as enlightened as you think you are
[/quote]
Of all the wisdom in AYP, I sometimes think that this might just be the greatest. We cannot reason our way into enlightenment. Even if one is a “serious student”, beating the mind with a stick is unproductive and rather painful to watch.