I (male, 30s) started the Yogani program six weeks ago. Twenty minutes of DM twice a day. After a short while, I added 5 minutes, then 10 minutes of SBP. For the past week, I’ve been practicing combining spinal breathing with the Full Yogic Breath (FYB).
My experience over the past six weeks: At the beginning a slight tingling in my spine, then ecstasy, then sexual arousal. Then came a day when I couldn’t practice. So I wanted to make up for it the next day. So I practiced three times instead of twice. The third time, I managed the FYB very well and experienced the greatest ecstasy ever. My deep meditation was also much deeper afterward. Unfortunately, my Sahasrara opened up a little in the process. Now I can feel it all day long now in my daily life (its an unpleasant pressure).
I feel anxious throughout the day and very unbalanced. I’m afraid that the Kundalini will now fully awaken and plunge my life into chaos. I’m afraid to connect with my sahasra. I try to push it away, but it’s no use. I now have the following plan (=self pacing):
Pause the program and do mindfulness techniques instead.
I will do more sports and eat heavier (I’m already well integrated into daily activities (work, friends, etc.)).
When I feel stable, I’ll do only 2 sessions of 10 minutes of DM per day. After that: a walk.
If I remain stable, I’ll add another 5 minutes of spinal breathing. After that: a walk.
I’ve tried to read everything Yogani has written on the subject. I used the AI to help me. But two questions remain: First: Are there any techniques that can help me right now? Second: Since SBP is supposed to stabilize the Kundalini energies, I should probably just keep going (By the way: I’ve always focused on the channel between the Root and Ajna and never on the Sahasrara during spinal breathing). But on the other hand, SBP is what awakened the Kundalini energies in the first place. I’m confused—what can I do?
PS: I’ve taken LSD quite a few times in my life (the last dose: 2 y ago). About 50 times in total. But only small amounts (usually 20–30 micrograms). Other than that, I drink coffee every day and take kratom once a week. I’ve also tried a lot of other things once (marijuana, ketamine, …). Maybe that stirred up the energies too soon, and I’m not ready. I have now completely cut out the last drug from my life. Even coffee, just to be sure.
Sorry you are having difficulty. Clearly you have taken on too much too soon. That, possibly combined with past drug usage, has made you sensitive to practices.
First, drop the SBP for at least several months. It can help balance energies, but in some cases can aggravate them. In your case it appears to be the latter. You can try a few minutes of gentle alternate nostril breathing (non-spinal) to calm the system down before meditation, but not if it adds discomfort.
It is suggested to focus on developing a stable meditation practice, with nothing substantial added for at least a few months, preferably six months or more with meditation only. Maybe some light asanas (5-10 min) before meditation if they do not aggravate your energies. And make sure to take a good rest after meditation, 5-10 min, lying down if convenient.
Regarding meditation, if 10 minutes twice a day with mantra (AYAM) is leading to discomfort in daily activity, then try using breath as object instead of the mantra. as discussed in Lesson 367. If daily activity is still rough, then try sitting with passive awareness as you mentioned (just noticing whatever comes up) for 10 minutes twice a day. If twice a day is too much, then try once a day. Note: Do not try modifying the mantra. That is for advanced practitioners. Use I AM/AYAM only.
The measures you mentioned in your list are good. Best to slow down, and restart slow when ready. Find your pace. Adding on time or practices should be after months of stability, not days or weeks. So the suggestion is to go slow and build your practice in a way that accommodates your capacity. It is a multi-month and multi-year process, not something that can be done in days or weeks. That you have found out. Be kind to yourself. It is going to be alright.
PS: Regarding premature sensations at the sahasrar (crown), best to just let that go, keeping busy with other things in life, which is what you are doing. It is the right approach. It is time to cultivate abiding inner silence in daily meditation in a way that works best for you, and stabilize silence (witness) in daily activity, which lays the foundation for advancing experiences. All things in good time.
- When I do DM, the crown chakra becomes very active. I have to try very hard to focus on the mantra. And because I’m trying so hard, DM doesn’t work at all anymore.
- So I tried mindfulness meditation. The crown chakra immediately becomes overwhelming. I let it happen briefly: The crown expanded over half of my brain. It was a nice feeling, but extreme energies were quickly released within me, which I found very overwhelming. I got scared and stopped.
- Then I tried concentration meditation. It was almost impossible. My focus kept getting pulled away from my breath/mantra by the crown. In the past, I would let my thoughts wander or get lost in my emotions. All of that was easy compared to the power of the crown.
- I achieved the best results by focusing on the third eye. Once the focus was there, the crown became quieter.
What can I do specifically now? My plan: Give up all spiritual practice and wait until the crown has calmed down. Then gently start TM again. 10 minutes once a day. Nothing more.
What else can I do? Are there exercises I can use specifically for stabilization?
Also important: I’m not doing badly in everyday life—in fact, I’m doing rather well. My daily life is ecstatic. But the crown doesn’t feel so good, and I have the feeling that something unpleasant is brewing there.
It does sound as if you would do well to take a break from all spiritual practices for a while, to allow everything to stabilize. Drugs can cause the subtle nervous system to become unstable, and the effects of drug use can last many years.
You may find that just a few months without any practice will be enough to bring about stability. Then you could test this to see if you are ready to begin spiritual practices again. I would suggest beginning with breathing meditation, and just test the waters for a couple of minutes each day. If your crown is still unstable, you will soon know and you can back off again. If you can keep up a few minutes of breath meditation each day for a few weeks with no issues, then you could increase to five minutes a day, and keep increasing gradually from there.
As for practices you can do in the meantime, there are grounding practices that would be very beneficial. Going for long walks, swimming, cooking, cleaning the house, working in the garden etc. can really help to ground the energy body. Stay socially active and try to avoid reading spiritual books, watching spiritual videos, or listening to spiritual audio books. Eat heavier food than usual, and be careful not to have sex too often as it moves a lot of prana in the body.
This AYP lesson gives more information on grounding. This video is one I put on Youtube a few years ago on the topic of managing painful kundalini awakenings. There is a free PDF which can be downloaded from the AYP Academy website here which is a flowchart for self-pacing and grounding AYP practices.
When you do start practices again, what you are watching out for are symptoms that are uncomfortable, or painful. Having sensations at the crown is not an issue by itself as long as they are not uncomfortable. But, if they are uncomfortable, or painful, then that would be a sign to back off. Fear arising that symptoms may become uncomfortable, is an uncomfortable sympton, so that would be a trigger to back off.
Seems you have a handle on what is working at the moment, and what is not. Good that daily life is going smoothly. Stay with that, and continue with remedial means that work for you to avoid excess crown activity. Looks like it is going to be a gradual process for you. Nothing wrong with that. Plenty of time to make the journey smoothly and safely. You are into one of the most important teachings in AYP - Self Pacing!
Thank you both so much for your very helpful answers. I’m putting everything into practice right now.
I have one more question: Sometimes in my daily life, I think about spiritual practice and then automatically think of the crown chakra. I can feel it almost immediately. I can’t sense any of my other chakras that easily.
Will the crown chakra eventually become weaker again? Because if it stays this active, I’ll never be able to do DM properly again. Am I done with spiritual practice? Have I blocked my own path?
Eventually the crown chakra will stabilize. When that happens you will be able to put your attention there for as long as you like without anything uncomfortable happening.
How long it takes before it stabilizes depends a lot on what you do now, and over the coming months and years, in terms of self-pacing and grounding. If you take everything one step at a time, it will be O.K.
