I have some questions about mantras. The context is that for some time i felt too lazy to repeat it during meditation, starting around halfway through the session.
As if I almost don’t have the willpower to fully mentally pronounce it. So was thinking about how to solve this. No pranayamas seems to change it, because i still get equally relaxed during meditation later.
But today i started to think about the concept of effortless mantra meditation and how we are supposed to allow it to become faint, and even dissappear. Maybe this is what is trying to happen only that i am fighting it.
Question 1- Is it normal that it almost wants to sound like we are slurring, like a drunk person? Or it almost sound like jibberish? In other words it doesnt just get faint, but seems to get change into something sloppy?
Question 2 - what is the key, if any exists, to allow it to happen without resistance (if this is indeed what is truly happening)?
1: Yes, it’s fine if the mantra turns out the way you describe it… but it doesn’t have to— just like it doesn’t has to become anything else. It should change on its own, without us intervening in any way.
2: The method consists of returning to the mantra when we realize we have gone off it… The key is to return to the mantra, at that stage of refinement it’s currently at… even if it’s just a faint impulse - before it takes on a more condensed form.
If in doubt, always go back to the lessons. This is from Lesson 13:
Easily repeat the mantra silently inside. When you realize you are not thinking it, then easily come back to it. The goal is not to stay on it. The goal is to follow the simple procedure of thinking the mantra, losing it, and coming back to it when you find you have lost it. Do not resist if the mantra tends to become less distinct. Thinking the mantra does not have to be with clear pronunciation. I AM can be experienced at many levels in your mind and nervous system. When you come back to it, come back to a level that is comfortable, not straining for either a clear or fuzzy pronunciation. [Yogani]
