Hi I will try to make this fast. First Thanks for letting me be here. I recently went through the whole relationship thing kind of but I was very hurt and I started the mantra Om Namah Shivaya. I only cry and experience a lot of pain then it goes away then I try to keep going.
I kept it up still painful then I gave a man lunch money who asked for spare money. I never saw him go into the store.
Then yesterday after a whole morning of saying this to myself and forgiving everything and everybody I noticed that I was not saying it. It was actually playing over and over in my head. When I noticed this I suddenly had a moment of bliss that was accompanied by crying but I could not stop smiling and laughing.
So what happened?
I know I have a lot to do. I don’t hate her but she is gone and I get it. I’m working on me so that if there is a next time I will be better equipped to deal emotionally.
So what next?
Thanks
Derrick 
Yes, working on your self is good. Forgive yourself first. It is not necessary to try and handle things emotionally, only to accept things as they really are.
You are not a robot and you should accept those emotions equally and gratefully. It is the emotions that propelled you to meditate in the first place.
Thank You Karl. I will try and take that with me today.