New to DM

Hi everyone! :wave:

I’ve been practicing AYP Deep Meditation for a few weeks now, and I have a question.

Is it okay to just let the mantra do its own thing, rather than trying to control it? What I mean is—almost listening to the inner sound of the mantra, letting it unfold naturally. I guess that’s what Yogani means by “effortless,” right?

When I apply even a little effort to repeating the mantra internally, it doesn’t seem to refine in the same way as when I just gently start it and then rest my attention on it without trying to manage it. Does that make sense?

Also, sometimes the mantra becomes so faint that I’m not even sure if I’m still on it—especially since other things can be happening at the same time, like a kind of inner ringing.

Any insights would be much appreciated—thanks!

3 Likes

Hi Cosmos… welcome to the forum.

You are right to easily start the mantra and then simply favoring it with your attention and let it go as it will, without trying to intentionally control or modify the development.

As for not being sure if you are still on the mantra:

When you are wondering if you are on the mantra or not, then you are off into wondering… after all you are noticing wondering, right?

‘Noticing’ itself is already the signal that you are off… it doesn’t matter what we notice - be it wondering if we are off the mantra or anything else.

It’s ok when other perceptions (like ringing) are present in the mind - just easily favor the mantra over everything else that is going on whenever you realise you are off it.

If the coming back to the mantra becomes straining due to strong sensations, then apply the witnessing technique (lesson 15), which means let the mantra go and allow your attention to be drawn to the sensation (opposed to intentionally focussing on it) until the situation has calmed down so far so that picking up the mantra is not straining anymore. Count the time spent in witnessing as meditation time.

6 Likes

Thanks — that really helps!

Yesterday, not long after starting the mantra, I began to cry. I wasn’t sure if I should keep going, but I did. It felt like it triggered a lot of purification, and I stayed quite emotional for the rest of the day. Picking up the mantra started to feel a bit difficult — I kept losing it and having to bring it back again and again.

In my next session, I’ll try what you suggested: letting go of the mantra and allowing my attention to rest with the sensation — including thoughts and bodily feelings, I assume — until it subsides.

This isn’t the first time this has happened. I often shift from the mantra into strong body sensations or intense thoughts. Maybe I’m especially sensitive to deep meditation.

Does this mean a lot of obstructions are coming up to be cleared? And will things eventually settle down?

2 Likes

Loosing the mantra and coming back to it again and again is a normal aspect of the meditation process. The goal is not to stay on it rigidly, but to gently favor it whenever we notice we’ve drifted away.

It also doesn’t matter how often we lose it or how long we are off, as long as we stick to the method of easily favoring the mantra when we become aware we’ve gone off. So you’re fine there.

However, when picking up the mantra starts to feel difficult, that’s another matter. Strain and discomfort can be seen as “border qualities.” When meditation brings about either of these (or both), we apply the witnessing technique, as described previously. And yes, you’re right — we allow our attention to rest with the sensation (including thoughts and physical sensations). Attention will be drawn wherever it’s naturally drawn, and we simply bow to the natural magnetism of the moment.

Feeling emotional during the day is yet another matter and relates to self-pacing. How we feel outside of practices is the benchmark we use to measure and regulate the intensity of our practices.

The first step is to ensure we have enough rest at the end of our sessions, and to integrate grounding activities — like a daily walk — into our routine. If that’s not enough (i.e., we still feel impaired during the day), we reduce the duration of our practices systematically until we find a stable platform. This might mean cutting back several times. Then we stay there for at least a couple of weeks before gradually increasing timings again — always allowing time for integration at each step.

Self-pacing is one of the most important aspects of the AYP system and our journey toward enlightenment, so it’s crucial to internalize these principles.

Look up “self-pacing” in the AYP lessons, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support if needed.

At this stage, I wouldn’t classify your experience as being oversensitive to mantra meditation. In AYP, that term is used when practitioners need to switch to a milder meditation object (like the breath) because even reducing timings isn’t sufficient to manage the purification effects.

But yes — lots of obstructions are coming out, and yes — things will settle down again. Then perhaps another cycle of loosening up and flushing out will begin… until the system is clear.

That’s why it’s important to understand how to deal with the phase we’re currently in. Sometimes we can push forward, and at other times we need to step back in order to maintain balance — always keeping in mind the flywheel effect and the potential for delayed reactions.

You’re doing great. Keep walking the and enjoy the journey. :upside_down_face::v::pray:t3:

2 Likes

Yes, this is purification in action, and things will settle over time, but it is also possible symptoms ramp up or vary day to day, it is truly individual depending on our neurobiology. It may be too soon to determine if you are over sensitive or if this is temporary, in any case, reduce practice times whenever you are in discomfort (self pace) until you feel stable again.

There is a tendency for newbies to overthink the simple process, so don’t worry too much if you’re doing it wrong, it is clunky in the beginning. After awhile you will find the groove and not give the process a second guess. Welcome to AYP!

6 Likes

So, what does meditation actually do? :sweat_smile:
I’m asking because, honestly, it doesn’t seem to do much for me. Maybe my expectations are too high. The main effect I’ve noticed, though, is that it’s made me more aware of tension in my body—giving me the option to either engage with it or let it go, I suppose.

3 Likes

So, what does meditation actually do? :sweat_smile:
I’m asking because, honestly, it doesn’t seem to do much for me. Maybe my expectations are too high. The main effect I’ve noticed, though, is that it’s made me more aware of tension in my body—giving me the option to either engage with it or let it go, I suppose.

Hi Cosmos,

Meditation is a long journey. The first few months are really just the beginning. To be honest with you, the first few years are really just the beginning. It is quite dangerous to have too many expectations too early on. Most people who are new to meditation will be spending a lot of time getting caught up in thoughts, or emotions, or with very little going on. It takes time for the mind to begin to settle down and for some clarity and insight to arise.

Over time, you will begin to feel moments that feel peaceful and calm. You will also feel as if you are able to observe things without getting caught up in them, or needing to react to them. This is the beginning of the witness stage. Becoming aware of tensions in your body and realising that you can either engage with them, or let them go, is the beginning of the witness stage. So, this is a really good sign. It might not seem like much, but it is. Eventually you will not need to react to anything that you don’t want to. You will experience a deep state of stability, mental stillness and equanimity. This is the beginning of liberation, which is the state of freedom from all suffering.

You may find this lesson useful on how the process of yoga unfolds over time. But, do remember that this process usually unfolds over years and decades, rather than weeks and months:

3 Likes

Hi Cosmos
Very good question😁
In addition to what Christi said, maybe lesson 14 is helpful

3 Likes

That’s wonderful! Sounds like it’s doing its job to me!

Noticing tension in the body is a very profound thing, something to be grateful for.
Imagine being able to choose whether or not you wanted to engage in cyclical negative thinking, grief or anger? Maybe you already can?
The implications are absolutely life changing are they not?

:pray:

4 Likes