My longing has changed. Life have humbled me yet again and I am thankful for the many mirrors in my life. In my current understanding, it is not about states: divine, ecstatic, lights and mystical wines, diving deep into stillness… It is about equanimity.
Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement
“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with Love, Grace and Gratitude” Denis Waitley
Love to you Ananda. 
O benefit of ill! now I find true
That better is by evil still made better;
And ruin’d love, when it is built anew,
Grows fairer than at first, more strong, far greater.
So I return rebuk’d to my content,
And gain by ills thrice more than I have spent
Part of sonnet 119
he is said to be a steadfast yogi whose heart through knowledge and realization is filled with satisfaction who having conquered his senses ,never vacillates ,and to whom a clod ,a stone and gold are the same . The gita chapter the way of meditation .
for a sage who wants to attain yoga action is said to be the means ; but when he has attained yoga ,serenity is said to be the means
the gita chapter the way of meditation