You’re a strong woman, Chard! Thank you for your authentic sharing. Our heart and gut always knows the best. You and your family will be in my Samyama.
Much Love and Hugs. 
Than you CD and Suntaya, your words feel comforting right now. I want to face these rainbow of emotions with integrity. I know how easy it is to want to shy away from difficult emotions. But I know the only way is taking one day at a time and just allowing myself the grace to be exactly where I’m at in every moment. For I know that anything left unresolved in this relationship shall carry through for me in any future relationship that God wills for me.
I heard the saying today “why cut something that can be untied.” I shall do my part to gently untie this relationship and I’m even creating the intention with my husband of experiencing an even more fulfilling or close relationship as friends. I believe that’s possible. Yet I don’t doubt I will feel anything less than a downpour of grief.
This feels so hard…and to have the two children we are mutually caring for. I mean how can you separate from the father of your children. You can’t because you are always connected like you are hopping through life in a potato sack together! If we don’t cooperate together we trip and fall down. Oy vey! Thank you to this community for a safe place to share authentically always when I need it. Appreciate the supportive feedback. Thank you! love, C
Hi Chad,
Wishing you strength and wisdom in this challenging time. Of course, everything we do is for the love of the Higher Self, the Divine, the Absolute, the Great Mystery. We love our children because of That, we love our friends because of That, all we love is for the love of That. We fall in love because some people have the window of their soul open for us to That. We might think we are in love with a person, but we have just caught a glimpse or a good view of That when we looked in someone’s eyes. And That is in everyone, It is in you, and It falls in love with Itself over and over again.
Beautiful.
As they say, this journey is very personal. Listen to the Stillness and that will guide you.
In honoring our humanness,our divinity is enlivened even more. As Yogani says being divine human.
We are always here for you. Much Love & Hugs.
Thank you dear friends…I appreciate all your responses! C
Hey Chard,
I’m going through a divorce, currently. I feel ya. If ya ever need to talk, let me know.
Hi All, I wanted to check back in…so needless to say my husband decided he wants to remain in the home and not be the one to move out. It’s interesting cause I had an energy healing session a few months ago and the healer said that she could see that I would be the one to move out. I disagreed fervently at the time. Now I’m ok with it…and somehow I’m ok with leaving the home as it is apart from my clothes and a few sentimental items. I truly love my home and yet I’m ready for a fresh start. And so I’ve been looking for homes nearby and although it feels very scary on so many levels, at the same time it feels authentic. I feel good about how he and I are walking through this process and everyday I feel it is an opportunity to practice kindness and generosity in a challenging process. Harmonious uncoupling is truly is a spiritual practice. Everyday living in a home with a man where there’s no workability and with whom I’m uncoupling has been challenging daily. There are so many ups and downs- grief, adjustment, layers of changes that are pending. The impulse is to recoil and want to gear up for battle and yet what an opportunity it is to practice kindness and generosity in new ways each day. I’m learning and growing so much. I feel like I’m pioneering a new way to go through this process. I’m watching myself in the stages of grief and it’s kind of like birth. Just feeling cocoonlike and quiet and feeling the contractions that come in waves and then the pushing stage (action stage). I feel like I’m entering the action stage. I looked at an apartment today that my kids and I like…we’ll see…but I’m ready to take action. I cannot see what is a head of me. But I just know that where I am needs to shift. The kids are doing alright…they understand that mama and dada love each other deeply but that we are growing and changing in different ways and need more space to grow in ways that are important to us. I haven’t really used the word divorce at all, cause it feels like a different process. We still enjoy family time together but in a new way. (I’ve completed shed all physical attraction to him). Kids get these things better than adults. Kids are naturally in a state of harmony and don’t have the distinction of separation. They know deep down everything is ok. It’s all going to be ok, I know it. I’m actually writing another children’s book on the idea of harmonious uncoupling to support children. I even decided to leave my agency work at the end of the month (which has been heavy and draining work and I’m just ready to shed it) to solely do my private practice work. I know good things are coming. I trust. And yet I’m on the cusp of taking these huge leaps of faith and taking actions without seeing the whole picture. I’m really more and more honoring my soul and acting from that place.
Thanks for listening…this has been a great place for me to spontaneously share and hear my words echoed back to me. Love to hear words of encouragement and support. Love always , C
Hi All, it’s been a while since I’ve posted but I’d like to share updates as this community has been so helpful to me especially the past few years through the marriage ending process for me…
So I moved to my own condo in mid Dec and I feel like the separation/moving out process has been a spiritual practice in its own right. I feel like I left well though…and I know that when relationships don’t end well they don’t really end. So I made it a point of treating the previous home like a temple and spent days and weeks deep cleaning and repairing household things and beautifying it. It was a beautiful process of two people who are evolving into family partners and out of a romantic coupleship. We cried, even with the kids. We let them be witness to it all, to real life. Two people who’ve loved each other for nearly 25 years evolving and allowing each other space to grow in separate ways. We told the kids the truth…we are still a family unit but that we are very different people giving each other space to grow and do more of the things we value. It’s interesting …kids get it much easier than adults. The kids have adjusted seemlessly as well! I keep asking my 10 yr old how are your feeling about the two homes (we call them the peanut butter and the jelly home so they feel that we are connected) and my he’s said “mama, you don’t need to keep asking me how I’m feeling! I’m just doing great- no other feelings!!” Lol! We had probably the most peaceful Christmas I can remember with a lot of family time with my (ex)husband and my family and his family and have been still doing some family time together during the week which the kids really appreciate. While at the same time that’s the overall picture sounds like a dream situation and in many ways it has been…it’s been VERY painful too and stressful too. I chose to leave the previous home intact rather than splitting up the house items and although my husband got the better end of the deal it was a conscious choice - I just wanted to leave with full generosity (plus I thought it would be best for the kids) and trust that God would take care of me and help me to create my new life… and that’s what’s happening! Somehow my condo is being furnished despite my leaving my steady income at my agency to build my vision just two months ago. People have swooped down to help…a friend gifted me $2000 randomly, recovery friends have some done free handyman work…and I’ve been become best friends with Home Depot and power tools! I still feel buried in the transition process but overall I know I’m honoring my heart and soul and there feels like an inner spaciousness as I’ve been shedding an unworkable relationship that I’ve held onto for years. I cannot believe all the growth and shedding shedding shedding…
I’m grateful to be able to dip my head back into this cherished community of fellow spiritual travelers. Thank you for your support and love always! C
Peace to you!
peace
love and light to you