Hi lalow,
I’m not a relationship expert but these are the few things I’ve heard from some wise souls.
In long term relationships the first few years(the honeymoon stage) is all about love. After that it’s 80-90% yoga and 20-10% love. Then during the later years, it comes back full circle to more love and less yoga. I’m sure the fruits of this tapas (spiritual practice) is very sweet. I’ve witnessed this around me. Or I’ve seen couples go their separate ways after the kids are out of the house. In this case, the Karmic relationship is probably over.
We really don’t need yoga during good times. It’s when times get hard, the practices come in handy. It’s definitely not easy but a lot of growth/polishing happens when we continue taking steps for the benefit of all residing in Stillness. It takes a lot of strength, courage to stay. It’s very easy to walk away. And, reading from your post you are doing an excellent job. The embodiment of the Divine Feminine/Goddess that you are. 
Being selfless and serving your kids is the highest spiritual practice of all.
Much Love & Hugs. 
That’s how I used to think as well. That I should be okay with everything. After umpteen years of yoga, I’m still not.
I’ve been with my hubby for 22 years. I was very happy for at least 15 of those. If you are newly married, I probably won’t take one bit of your advice, not that it may not be correct, just that you don’t really understand.
5 years. but that doesnt mean anything. im not the guy who can remain miserable. my marriage was the source of much much pain addictions abuse. it was my decent into hell, my dark hour. if it wasnt for my marriage the fruition of my kriya practice may have never been realized. sometimes it appear we are off the path, meanwhile kriya is working. before i strived to be okay with everything. i tried to meditate, i had wonderful worthless experiences..telling me i was going in the direction. you have to let go of everything and knw yourself. then you will know husband it takes some decades to perform kechari others months. ive seen guys have surgeries to remove their tongues tether and then ive seen 12 year girl perform it on theirr first attempt. dont mistake your 22 years as proof of anything. if youre husband is a lay man then things can only reach a certain level of instensity and knowing. he can only make himself as small as his ego allows. your a woman. i wont say make yourself small for a man. yes it would work, but i wont tell you to do that. social dynamics prevent me
It takes yoga to be a mother. being a mother is the yoga itself . being a GOOD husband takes enormous amounts of sadhana. kriya is an airplane to god. if you allow your wife she can transport you to god instantously. it is a form of bhakti. you must worship her. it is harder for a woman to make her husband the object of her devotion i believe. maybe not for the spiritual elite amongst them. but still. its far easier for them to make their children more than themselves
What I was trying to say to you that I thought along the same lines as you up until a few years ago. At my point, it’s best to be real even from an unawakened state. I’m not tucking anything away 'cause I can’t lie to myself much anymore. Energy awakening took care of that.
Hi Lalow,
When we see through our delusions and become vulnerable and accept our pain. A door opens in the form of clarity and we can take steps from this place.
thats good. you know what you need to do at some depth. i dont. give your worries to god let him solve them. im well aware i may not always be married to my life. i choose not to put my focus there. i value the attachment i have. we need some strings
and with that said i cant imagine what its like to be married to a man as a woman. so i know there are severe limitations on my perspective. a woman to me serves a large role in a male householder’s path. but i think your marriage would be a lot happier if your husband was the worship my wife as my mother kind of guy. my conditioning leads me to the conclusion its a mans duty to make the most out of his marriage. value and love your children. that is a great yoga being a mother. i see my mothers and fathers marriage and while theyve cooled down a lot with old age. i know my mom only stayed for the kids. thats yoga. im sorry youve taught me a lot thank you
I’m glad you are still here. Haven’t heard from you in a while. Keep going!
I wrote a whole poem to dogboy. It had bad words. He would have loved it. It wouldn’t have been approved.
Bliss is approved, but problems are a problem of the person, which it’s all person problems. Nothingness, which I keep going back to, well no problems there. But it’s a big split. It’s a super big split from what’s happening in front of me.
If I may offer my 2 cents here: relationships suck! They are very difficult. That’s why C.S. Lewis said God uses relationships to “wear off our rough edges” when there is friction. The celibate life is so much easier.
There are times when I want to run away from home, but where would I go? And who would take care of the animals and my partner? He is a good, kind, spiritual man, a natural yogi, and we love each other greatly. Our spiritual life is awesome, but we struggle to keep a roof over our heads. He has ASD, for which he self-medicates with alcohol, and massive child support, legal and medical debts, and cannot hold down a decent job, primarily due to ASD and “communication breakdowns” with bosses and coworkers. His family has continual drama and they hate me for some reason; allegedly, I “took all of his [nonexistent] money,” while in fact I’ve been supporting us the last 13 years. Had I known the baggage he was carrying when we first got together, we would have been monogamous tantric lovers but not domestic partners with our finances entangled… Isn’t hindsight wonderful?!
As for the idea of “staying together for the sake of the kids,” as a counselor I want to caution that it’s not always the best thing, especially when there is a lot of hostility between the parents. When mom and dad are unhappy, hostile, abusive and at each others’ throats, even small children can pick up on that energy. It gives them an unhealthy view of relationships and marriage. Martyrdom - sacrificing your own happiness by remaining in a miserable marriage - will win you praise but may not be in the best interest of anyone involved, including the kids. In a toxic marriage that doesn’t improve with family therapy, sometimes moms and dads can be better parents by not staying married. I have clients in both situations.
Ultimately, you know what is best for you and your family. The rest of us can only support you in your decisions and be here for you during hard times. Much Love to you.
Jamie,
You are awesome. Lots of love.
Right back at ya dear.
I agree 1000% with Radharani. Lalow, I don’t know your story, situation etc. I speak here just from my story.
When I was very young my parents stayed together, but they were very unhappy and finished to divorce. I had some illness in relationship with these situation, just picked up this bad energy even I didn’t really understand the situation. Today, I always have some health aftermaths.
From my experience, don’t think to stay with your husband without love (even without quarrels in front of your children) is good for your children. 100% wrong, I lived it. It’s not good for them. Bad energy is here.
I don’t know if you do that, but don’t say to your children that their father is bad and that they have to hate him. It’s better to let them have their own think/opinion/judgement. Even if you are not agree with them.
Explain them the situation clearly.
Good luck.
Dr Phil said it’s better for children to be from a broken home than in a broken home.
Good advice.
I’m not a fan of Dr. Phil but I totally agree with him on this.
I think this is a smart move to get away from such a man. Not many women are capable of this. The main thing is to be strong and respect yourself