Hi all!
I am new here, and I have registered since many of the doubts I have about kundalini lead me to this site and I decided to register because I have a query.
First of all I want to clarify that I have never practiced yoga, stable or regular meditation.
But since the age of 19 (currently 30)
I was always curious about the occult, which made me drunk on reading of all kinds … until 2 years ago a depression hit me and I began to be more aware of myself and started a spiritual path so to speak.
The only thing I can say that the only regular ‘practice’ was self-inquiry and once it worked for me, I have learned to rest my consciousness on the ‘I am’, a while has passed and in a matter of 2 months I have begun to have some unusual behaviors in my body / organism.
Prior to these symptoms I had a strange experience sleeping.
- I wake up in a dream, having totally lucid, I find myself in a dark, empty place, without the presence of anyone or anything, there were no voices, only consciousness. A moment later I appear lucid in front of 4 people around a table with candles (they had a rabbinic style) one of them I remember his face, with a book in his hand, he looked at me and began to feel how my body was on fire and I I was raised to a height of the ceiling and this ‘consciousness’ was floating while my body disintegrated. It was so real, I felt everything. even the energy throughout my body after waking up to this experience.
From that night all kinds of sensations began in my body. - I started having a very strong pain in what respects my prostate close, as if it were beating. Even when I was masturbating it was very painful. This lasted 1 week.
- I began to have a tremendous sexual desire that I could not resist, so I have masturbated a lot (and this is my concern)
- I started to have spasms and cramps in both legs (especially when I am relaxed sitting or lying down)
- Very strong pain in the whole back, sometimes it is in the lower part or sometimes in the middle part (as if I had been working with a heavy load)
- I don’t know if this is crazy, but after reading and understanding what the ‘everything’ is, I find as if my questions are answered by someone (maybe it’s a mental game). But after the understanding of ‘all is one’ I feel that everything makes sense and the answers are generated by myself in my head. (Maybe it’s the ego)
- when I am alone or taking a shower, I may be sitting unconscious and distracted, but when I am conscious I am doing mudras with my hands (I have never practiced this, nor have mudras).
I have also noticed that I am doing stretches or poses, unconscious, even when I am lying down I have my legs in the shape of a 4 and I feel like the energy passed from one leg to another. - Finally 2 days ago I began to have bubbling or sensations between the eyebrows. Sometimes it is very noticeable and at times it disappears.
My query is that I feel a lot of sexual need, I can’t help masturbating. The last time I did it, when I reached orgasm I felt as if something was pushing up from my prostate and I felt a sensation, that left me speechless (which scared me).
Sorry my message is long. But I have many doubts that my ego is doing me a trick, since when I read many books I may have fallen and I do not know if this is a kundalini awakening because I have never done anything, more than a time of self-inquiry and rest of consciousness.
*Can this be a hoax?
*Is masturbation a problem if this energy is awakening?
Thank you very much for your patienc, and sorry for my bad english, i used translator
