Hi BlueRaincoat and Christi!
Thanks for your precious insights
Just for the record, I really admire and sincerely follow all tbat you guys say esp. Christi and Yogani at AYP here.
However, just to give you a quick idea of my background and what exactly I’m experiencing to possibly look at every angle of my problems, I would like you to know my history of practices:
Firstly, I am not doing any of the stuff that is mentioned here on AYP. I stumbled upon the method of mastering the male non ejaculatory multiple orgasms on Youtube and got hooked onto the idea immediately with an aim of improving my sex life and overall persona as it promises of all positive changes if trained consistently with dedication. So initially it was just about learning the actual technique that I started practicing daily. Basically taoist stuff that Mantak Chia teaches and other esoteric yogis likes in India its known as tantric masturbation.
So I got really interested and before I could realize that all of this was quite dangerous and possibly harmful to an irreversible degree is when I became worries and switched over to find out how it’s really done cause simple experimentation of playing with my sexual energy for hours became draining and I started losing my body structure and shape I lost 2-3 kgs of muscle mass.
Then I left it for some weeks but it used to feel so good and calming that it was there in the back of my mind 24/7
So i started doing the process again. It involved - Getting aroused by hand stimulation of the penis and reaching a semi-aroused state of 50-75% erection and meanwhile taking deep breaths inhale from nose and exhale from mouth with the tongue on the roof of the mouth to try to feel the energy moving from the spine to the solar plexus in a micro cosmic orbit while bringing my sexual energy to travel from the perineum to the spine by contracting the PC muscle and anal sphincter repeatedly while masturbating.
I was doing this every day for an hour for over 4 months. without any other meditation or physical exercise like the gym. Which I realize now that was a big mistake not to balance it all.
Although I do practice Sadhguru’s Shambhavi Mahamudra which is a 21 minute full body breathing kriya which involves alternate nasal breathing AUM chanting the three main bandhas jalandhar uddiyana and mula and finish with shambhavi.
I have not been able to keep up with it on a day to day basis. I do it very infrequently.
Apart from that I have just been focusing on solo cultivation sessions in an effort to achieve long lasting sexual orgasms without spilling any sperm. I actually reached that state many times but by force cause I would anyway lose the semen through urine and the subsequent energy loss would occur.
So it has really disturbed my mental state and I have become anxious about my sexuality fearing about things like infertility or my ejaculations not spurting out with power like before they jusy ooze out without any force.
Have I done heavy damage due to these practices?
Cause I know for a fact that before doing any of this stuff I never had these issues. It is only after i have started doing this so obsessively that has costed me issues with my sexual confidence bowel incontinence muscle loss pain in lower back and kidneys and retrograde ejaculation which just feels unnatural.
Have I damaged any nerves doing extra strong pelvic contractions?
To check all of these symptoms I still occasionally masturbate just to see if the sexual function is normal or not and I achieve an erection by stimulating. So i hope if that’s happening things can get back to normal right?
Thanks a million!
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