Hi,
I have been practicing Samyama for 1 month now, ever since I had some inner silence to drop things into.
Tonight, I did breathing while visualizing golden light coming up from my root chakra through the spinal channel into the center of the head. Then, I visualized pink light coming from the root around the front of my body, up over my nose and into the center of my head. I spent about 10 minutes deep breathing and visualizing that. (as per Barabara Ann Brennan’s “Hands of Light”. I don’t think that has anything to do with what I am about the mention, but I thought I’d say it anyway. I also did the deep silence meditation for 30 minutes. Then, I did Samyama.
As I progressed in Samyama, I remember Yogani stating that you go deeper and deeper into the quietest parts of your essence to release the sutra. Well, that is what I’ve been doing. At first, about 3 weeks ago, I got to a point where I would mentally see the words as I released them. I wasn’t trying to visualize the words, it was just happening. This was also accompanied by a lot of visions just popping up. I thought I was resonating my visual cortex. Then, I guess I played with the cave of water, releasing the sutras, one drop at a time into a big pool of water, then watching the ripples as they spread out and faded before releasing the next sutra. Another point of interest is that I have been adding ‘inner silence’ as one of my sutras.
Tonight I decided to go back to trying to release the sutra from the quietest part of my mind, forgoing the visual scenery. As I zeroed in on the quietest part, a little tunnel thingy started to appear. It was as if, my persuit of the quieter regions in my mind created a little tunnel or pushed through to create a tunnel? As I focused on it and released a sutra, the tunnel got a little deeper. The tunnel has some lights in it and what appears to be a very little yellow light. As I kept pushing further and further into the tunnel, the tunnel got longer and the light was a little brighter. I was kind of puzzled because, although I had read that the third eye is really a reflection, I thought the tunnel should be pointing forward, not backwards. I tried to adjust my perspective, but it remained pointing out of the back of my head. I focused on it some more with intent.
Then, a black thing, at first I thought it was a leach, starting slowly creeping out from the end of the tunnel. As I watched it, I realized that the end of the tunnel was splitting open, and it wasn’t a leach but blackness was coming through the bottom of the tunnel. The tunnel is at the back of my head and pointing slightly more to the left. I think it is about 4 inches long and no more than 1/4 inch wide.
As I kind of pushed myself down to the edge of the tunnel to take a look, an erie feeling overtook me. There is this huge black void in there that I’ve seen before. Once I meditated for three hours after which I popped out of the top of my head into that black void. At that time, it felt like I was going to die so I quit immediately. That was 16 years ago. Well, that black void is the same!
I sat on the edge of the little tunnel at the back of my head and yelled out as loud as I could “I AM”. Nothing. No echoes, no response. I tried again. “A AM!!!” Nothing. I must also say, I think I could see very minute very dim little lights way off in the distance in the black void, but it seemed more like a feeling than a visual thing.
I’m so thrilled to have discovered the little tunnel and the huge black void. I’m going to go exploring next time. It was so easy to get there, and I can see it persistently now.
Has anyone else here discovered this tunnel or the big black void?
Yes, Yogani, but sometimes you just have to look at the scenery… 
TI
Entering the void is what can really freak people out. Yes, I have experienced the void and almost lost it there. After recaputulating what happened and checking with teachers and others my conclusion is that managing to enter the void, still clinging on to attachments and ego structures often results in very unpleasant experiences, sometimes even dangerous. In my case I was using techniques I was not ready for and entered unprepaired.
If it is the Void and not only scenery you have stumbled on with maybe some caution could be a good idea.
/lorf
Hi lorf
Thank you for your reply. It is nice to hear that someone else has found such a void.
Nope, this is not scenery. I can tell because I’m still much afraid of it. I haven’t ventured out there yet since re-discovering it. I get chills just thinking about it. And, the one time I popped out into it (after the 3 hour meditation) and came back right away because of the fear of dying, two little beings that I can only describe as faeries followed me back.
If you don’t mind me asking, what happened to you when you went into that void?
TI
Hi Tibetan Ice,
I guess we may have different experiences of this huge vastness that opens. When I have dipped my toe into that void, all is love! The void is love and I AM that love. (Have described it earlier a couple of times here in forum, but can’t remember where). There’s this tunnel feeling going into it, swirling in all directions, eventually falling into it. Can’t stay there for very long either. It’s just a dip and then the energies are too strong, and the system is still too muddy, so there’s a swosch and I’m out of it. Lovely description, by the way, of your way into the void!
Tibetan_ice,
A sentance like “That is not scenery, it is the Void” doesn’t really work. You might as well say, that wasn’t scenery, it was the Very Christ! It was Jesus Himself! To which we kindly reply that it was scenery, whether it was Jesus Himself or not. As it is with Jesus, so it is with the Void.
And, the one time I popped out into it (after the 3 hour meditation) and came back right away because of the fear of dying, two little beings that I can only describe as faeries followed me back.
Just be sure that you don’t end up exploring tunnels and thinking you are following the techniques of deep meditation or samyama in the process. “Don’t get caught up in the scenery”, as an AYP admonition, is about keeping to the technique. When you’re off doing something else, you’re off doing something else. Not necessarily a bad something else in itself, but just make sure it doesn’t invade the practice.
Agree with David. Still, this experience is quite similar to many who go down the tunnel. This is an experience from another meditator, found on the net:
To me the first entrances were much about terror. Nothing to hold on to. No reference points. Nothing to look forward to. Maybe we are talking about somewhat different things, I refer to more like a state which lasted for a few weeks where the, call it the void, was present. In that the identity, some abilities that were my pride were useless. That is what got me.
I had not heard any Satsang leader say anything about that intense terror. I used to be upset about that but not any longer. Only later I met two people who refered to it. One was Bernie Prior (the one EMC is often writing about)who was all into talking about that the only way to approach the void is in a love relationship where the love would be the reference point. I can see now how true it is in a way. But I did not have a relationship at the time. The other one is a Buddist teacher, I do not remember his name but he was appointed to teach in the West. He said something like “Yes, it is a stage of development for the apprentice and it is the duty of the teacher to know when it is time to enter. Once in the void or gap one is alone, no one can assist so the teacher has to know before. But this we do not talk about this very much since it scares people.”
It sems like the void only reflects the place we come from. If we come from love, the void is love. If we come from a place of pride and attachment like I did it strikes back. If the groundwork is not done there is no mercy. At least this is my experience.
/lorf
Yes, I understand this terror of the void thing – I’ve been through it.
I interpret this ‘void’ thing as a sudden (rather than gradual) transition into relative inner silence. Relatively, that ‘void’ can seem so profound, that it subjectively seems like an absolute thing.
I think any approach that keeps your life in balance will be likely to help just fine with adjustment. Time and a balanced life are the keys – self-pacing if you will. I’m inclined to view most of these problems with the ‘void’ as being just ‘integration’ issues. The nervous system is just experiencing what it isn’t used to and making a fuss. Goddie, Mommy, Daddy, Lovie, Buddy, Bozo and Doggie have shut up for a change inside one’s head and that sudden absence is experienced as frightening.
It’s only frightening though, because you’ve been used, from day one, to hearing Goddie, Mommy, Daddy, Lovie, Buddy, Bozo and Doggie screaming at you all the time. And really, that’s about it. They are your ‘reference point’ because they’ve always been there. When you’re used to having them quiet, (which can take time and more experience of having them shut up for a change) you’re used to it and there is nothing to say about it.
Maybe if they just quieten down gradually over the years, rather than silencing suddenly ever, no conscious ‘void’ concerns will even arise. I don’t know.
Hi emc
I’m not sure we are talking about the same tunnel here. There is a tunnel at the front of my head which has a star at the end. This tunnel is composed of pastel colored lights and sits upwards at a 45 deg angle from the front of my face. The other little tunnel I am talking about is at the back of the head, pointing almost straight back and a little to the left. That tunnel’s walls are not rings but appear to be compressed blotches of different colored light. There are no rings of light there. I wonder if both tunnels share the same black space?
Thanks for your insight.
TI
Hi David
Thank you for your input.
I don’t think that this big black void is inner silence. I haven’t read any posts about feeling the fear of death when experiencing inner silence.
To me, inner silence is when your mind goes blank, there are no thoughts and you go somewhere, or rather, you notice that you have been somewhere after. When you start thinking or grasping with the mind, the inner silence is gone. The big black void, on the other hand, is something I can look at, try to grasp it with my mind. I can sit there, looking at for a long time. It has no bottom. It is as if it goes down forever. It is huge. There is no light in it but I feel like there might be some light way off in the distance. If I jumped in, I feel that I would fall downwards forever (but I haven’t tried).
To be honest, I don’t really know. Perhaps someone who is an expert at producing inner silence can tell us if entering it produces the fear of death.?
And then, if it is inner silence, do we jump in and practice Samyama in there?
TI
Hi lorf
That is very interesting. To me, the void is not subjective. It is a concrete thing that exists by itself, regardless of what personal charactistics we may have. But then, what do I know? I’ll have to go exploring. If all of a sudden I quit posting to this forum, you’ll know what happened to me.
TI
Tibetan, this is pretty tricky business to compare if we actually are at the same place, but I do believe there’s only one void!
The tunnels you talk about is not clear to me at all in that way. I just get a tunnel feeling, and I do volts forwards or backwards or spinning and lose my sense of up and down and going faster and faster, being sucked down towards this vastness of blackness. There is a very exciting/scary feeling and sometimes I pull back immediately. On a few occasions I have dared to just let go and when entering the void itself, I totally dissolve AS the void and there’s this explosion of love and I can’t describe it more clearly than that I AM that LOVE. There’s no chance of an ego or mind to go into the void, I’d say. The very access to the void is the letting go of everything that’s personal and time bound. The void is timeless and time cannot follow into it. That’s why it’s scary to lose all reference points and there’s absolutely not possible to look FORWARD to anything!
On occasions I also “stand on the edge” of this void, as you describe. I can watch it, I feel the sucking feeling, the vastness opens in front of me, and it’s so huge I freak and then I pull back from it. And I hear myself say “Not now!” as if my mind is not ready to let go entirely yet. Bernie teased us at the retreat. “People say ‘not now’! as if there was anything but NOW?! How can you say ‘not now’ and think you can postpone anything to the future?” Frustrating. I have this longing to dive into the void, and if I fall into the trap of WANTING too much, I snap out quicker than instantly!
Tibetan_ice said:
I don’t think that this big black void is inner silence. I haven’t read any posts about feeling the fear of death when experiencing inner silence.
Tibetan, this ‘void’ can indeed be some specific ‘thing’ in your case that you can look at. But perhaps your mind is objectifying a potential subtle energetic transition as being this big black ‘thing’. And that potential energetic transition is part of your transition into ‘inner silence’.
Here’s a core idea: sudden transitions are strongly noticed and ‘objectified’ sometimes as things or events. The same kind of transition, if gradual enough, is neither noticed nor objectified.
So it’s not that I’m saying that this ‘void’ isn’t real, or isn’t a thing-of-itself in some ways. Nor am I saying that you can’t ‘jump into the void’ – maybe you can – I could. What I can say is I think there is probably no need for you to ‘jump in’, and certainly don’t do it during meditation or samyama, because it if you do you are departing from the technique of meditation and samyama. If you want to go in ‘on your own time’, well, you’re just in uncharted territory as far as AYP is concerned.
I think there’s no need for you to jump in, because any useful ‘transition’ it offers is just as likely to come in another way, or more gradually, or in some way that this ‘void’ is not noticed.
Perhaps someone who is an expert at producing inner silence can tell us if entering it produces the fear of death.?
Anything can come up as the mind shakes off its stresses. The fear of death is one of them – and it is one of the root stresses of any living thing – all living things have it. I believe it is common to experience fear of death if this ‘void’ experience comes up. These things don’t have to be analyzed though. Be a ships-captain who steadfastly moves on, neither stopping as you pass beautiful nor terrifying sights, whether stopping to gorge, flee or analyze!
Can you actually believe that you don’t in any way need to know, for your practice and progress, what this thing, the ‘void’ is? You don’t need to know where it comes from, were it is going to, or anything about it at all. No more than you need to know what is in the Tabloids today. I ask you this question because, when I look back, the answer for me was ‘no’ – I could not believe I did not need to know and analyze such things. I know now though.
Experiences in meditation are seductive – they suck us in according to our own particular weaknesses for being sucked in. Some people get sucked in by the beauty and holiness and apparent magic of it all, others get disturbed betimes by the terrors, others get sucked in by the need to understand the experiences. Somehow, this ‘void’ thing is coming across to you as something that should probably be understood in some mental way. But trust me, it does not. No more than you need to understand the structure and history of an iceberg you are passing on a voyage.
And then, if it is inner silence, do we jump in and practice Samyama in there?
You’re off the AYP Samyama technique if you do, and into uncharted territory. Not all uncharted territory is bad though. Sometimes, it can be even good to satisfy your curiosity. Be ready to come back to regular samyama though. Happy voyaging either way!
I agree with this David. Twenty years ago I entered the black void after a zen retreat. Every time I sat down to meditate I just went into it, no tunnels just straight into it. It did terrify me and the reason for this was because there was no light.
I was so conditioned that light was good and dark was bad, that I thought it was somehow evil or something. So I decided to call in light and the light did come and invaded the space. Unfortunately this put an end to my experiencing the void for a long time, and the light wasn’t in the same league, but maybe that was because I was used to it.
As David indicates, if I had been in the void all my life and suddenly experienced light it probably would also have terrified me.
Making sudden transitions from one state to the next is alway going to be dramatic.
Hi David,
First, please let me say that I’m impressed with the sincerity and level of discussion from the members in this forum. I appreciate it!
When I was practicing Samyama, I would release a sutra and occasionally something would happen. Like once I released “Love” and my heart chakra pulsed, opened up to be about 8 inches wide, light shone out from it to 10 feet in front of me and I could see people standing there. Another time I released “Union” and I got this tremendous rush coming from above going into the earth and back. I have been releasing ‘inner silence’ for a few weeks. What happened was that when I’d release a sutra, gradually a scene appeared and I could see a large dark cave with water in it. As I released the sutra, a drop would fall into the water. I’d watch the ripples until they’d disappear and then release another sutra. One day, after completing the Samyama, I decided to explore the cave. I tried looking around and thought it was too dark. Suddenly, light pulses appeard in the water coming towards me. Then, an orange yellow sun rose into the sky and I could see water, and blue sky. There were a few clouds in front of the sun at first but they dissolved. I wrote about that experience in another post… That ‘scene’ is still there and I can go to it when I want.
David, your experience makes me wonder if I can call in light into the dark void. It is nice to know that someone else has lit up a dark region! Thank you for sharing.
Oh yes, just for Yogani and others who think I’ve strayed off the path, here is quote I found about kundalini yoga:
[quote]
Even knowing that the passage of kundalini is often stormy, the attractions to awaken it are many. The most important reason, of course, is the promise of enlightenment. The other tantalizing prizes are the many siddhis (psychic powers). These include clairvoyance, the ability to communicate with spirits and to see visions.
These powers can often be a trap to the unwary, for unless the mind is purified, they can again become a cause for pride, for the exercise of power over others or to make money. This is why true masters and saints advise against being tempted to acquire siddhis and to keep the focus steadfastly on enlightenment instead.
Here is the link:
http://www.lifepositive.com/Spirit/world-religions/hinduism/kundalini.asp
ps. I haven't done anything with the void yet. It's still there, though. TI
TI,
Thanks. BTW, if you are going to try going into the void, I’d recommend that you don’t try pulling light into it. I don’t believe its darkness is ‘darkness’ in the sense of ‘delusion’ to contrast with ‘light’ in the sense of ‘enlightenment’. It is just darkness in the sense of night, or black paint. Or emptiness, just as vacuum is empty. Why not meet it on its own terms?
Hi
Last night I went into the void. I did 10 minutes of spinal breathing followed by 20 minutes of deep silence meditation. I ignored the black void during meditation.
After meditation I spent a few minutes examining the big black void. I shifted my perspective so that ‘i’ was sitting on the edge of the tunnel and looked around. No light. It appeared like a huge bottomless pit. No sound. Nothing. I tried to call in light and nothing happened.
Then I leaped in. I expected to fall down and down but when instead, I hit this barrier of some sort. I should also mention that there were two of me. One of me was watching the whole scene and the other me was the one that jumped in. When I hit the barrier, I could see jagged muffled light patterns imerge, much like when you step on a clear sheet of frozen water and it cracks up releasing rainbows, except these patterns of dull light were jagged and erratic.
I tried to jump in again, except this time part of the tunnel started swirling into the void along with me, resembling water flowing down the drain. Same thing. I hit the barrier again. It was as if someone had taken several large paint brushes with a bit of dull paint on them (red, green, purple) and dragged the brushes in random directions. I returned to my first self, that sits there watching.
As I peered into the blackness, these two huge hands appeared in the blackness with fingers touching, making a big ‘O’ in the void. As I looked into the big ‘0’, there appeared to be a tunnel inside. So I spiralled in. I could see the faint outline of the tunnel, in reds and purples and I progressed into the tunnel for quite a while. It was very dark and there was no light except for the tunnel walls. After a long while I got tired or bored of travelling through the tunnel because it seemed to go on forever. So I came back.
Next, I sent my guide through the tunnel and watched. (I discovered my guide, which resembles a white-light gummy man, a few months ago during full body crystal layout meditations). Same thing. The guide flew into the tunnel and was gone for a long time. As I watched, occasionally the guide would stop as it seemed like this tunnel goes on forever. So I called it back and quit.
I’m not sure what to make of all of this, other than I must have overcome my fear of death. I mean, it wasn’t even an issue. Once I decided to jump in, there was no fear left. Not one iota. And that is sure one long tunnel!
Thanks again for everyone’s kind words of advice, suggestions, confessions and concern.
TI
I’d say you didn’t get into the void. YOU, as an ego were still there, and therefore you hit the barrier! There was friction and a stop or an endless going nowhere. You made it to the tunnel but didn’t dare to let go of yourself totally, so it became boring. Only the ego-mind can get bored.
Next time - identify with nothing but the blackness. YOU ARE THAT BLACKNESS. YOU ARE THAT VOID. Welcome yourself HOME and melt into it. But you as a person, your ego will have to DIE in order to get there. YOU cannot follow. I’d say you didn’t overcome your fear of death, since you obviously didn’t die! Your ego is the doer. If you can DO all of those things in there… well… you haven’t died!
Hi emc
Ok. Next time I will try your suggestion.
I have to say: I don’t know if I agree with your statements that only the ego-mind can get bored and that ego is the doer. Because, if ego dies, doesn’t awareness in the clear light abide (buddhist concept)? Or perhaps, doesn’t the Witness, the one that watches from behind ever get bored?
After that venture into the black void, as I was ending my meditation, I noticed that a new persistent image was unfolding before me. It seemed to be two legs sitting in a full lotus. Yesterday, as I sat performing a heart chakra meditation, the vision of the two legs got brighter revealing a complete human form in misty white light. I immediately bound it in the name of Jesus Christ and prayed the blood of Jesus over it. Then I asked it to leave if it was not from the highest purest regions. The figure remained. This was not my guide. So, I asked it “Who are you?”. It replied “You”. I could see that it was connected to me by a chord of misty white light. I can make it spin around, go up and down and even come back to my heart. I sent it to the world with the water and the sun in the sky to sit there for a while. It is very amusing and awesome. I wonder if this is my astral self? If such a self exists and we are tethered together, when my mind shuts off, doesn’t the astral self keep perceiving?
Oh, I was going to ask you. Today, during my deep silence meditation, I got this vision of a person who is around 200 lbs, wearing black glasses and a red checkered shirt and jeans. The hair is shortish and light brown and goes straight up from the forehead. There is a watch on the left arm with a black leather band. Is that you, emc?
TI
Not sure what you mean here… When ego dies (=is seen for what it is and not the master anymore, but a servant) awareness abides, yes. What’s left is BEING that awareness and it can’t DO very much. It just IS, still, action comes out of it but effortless. It has no feelings, no anticipations, no expectations, is not bound in time or space, yet IS a state of peace and love. How can it be bored? Only the timebound little “me” have a past and a future, is never ever satisfied with what is, but wants MORE and MORE all the time, creating a constant searching. When search does not satisfy - boredom comes and new roads are sought.
Entering the blackness comes from a letting go. A total LET GO of everything. You can’t bring anything into it and you can’t take anything from it. The Mother, Womb of the Universe, the blackness of Yin, the unlimited potential, is ruthless in her demands: Die, or go forever searching.
You seem to have a lot of visions and beautiful scenery going on. Enjoy, but don’t get lost in it or get stuck in interpretations of it. That will come and go.
I have no clue if it was a glimpse of me. If 200 lbs = 90 kg (result from a converter at internet), that’s not me! 
The rest of it could be something like me, hair and watch right on the spot! Gosh, I better clean my flat if you’re gonna come visit like that… 