Hello everyone, I’m reaching out in search of a little human understanding and some light at the end of the tunnel during this journey. Throughout this past year, I’ve mostly kept everything to myself, but I’m realizing that I need some support right now. I’m hoping that, with time, I’ll find balance and stability within myself again.
- What are your symptoms, and how long have you had them? Are they primarily physical, psychological, or both?
Over the past year, I’ve experienced both physical and psychological symptoms that seem connected to a spontaneous kundalini awakening that began about a year ago.
Physically, I’ve experienced intense waves of energy, kriyas/spontaneous body movements, pressure in different parts of the body, heightened sensitivity, strong sexual/sacral energy, and an overall overstimulated nervous system. For a long period, I couldn’t watch TV or listen to music without becoming overwhelmed, and it took me nearly a year to finish a single book.
Psychologically and emotionally, I’ve experienced emotional releases, vivid dreams, synchronicities and pattern recognition, as well as moments where information or impressions seemed to arise before events later unfolded. My sense of time has sometimes felt less linear. I’ve also gone through major identity shifts, existential confusion, periods of deep connection and confidence, but also grief, fear, emptiness, intrusive thoughts, and emotional overwhelm.
- Are the symptoms constant, or do they come in waves? If they come in waves, what tends to trigger them? Has your sleep been affected?
The symptoms are fairly constant but vary greatly in intensity. Stress, emotional conflict, spiritual focus, isolation, or intense emotional states tend to amplify them.
Sometimes I feel relatively grounded and normal, while other times I feel overwhelmed by energy or grief. During the most intense periods, I experience strong kriyas, involuntary hand and neck movements, spontaneous body postures, and deep meditative states initiated by the body itself. If I sit in a meditation posture, my spine will often straighten itself automatically.
Things have improved somewhat over time, but I still experience body swaying while working, and sometimes sacral movements occur unexpectedly at work, which is very difficult to manage.
- Do you see your kundalini experience as the result of spiritual practices, or did it arise spontaneously?
It arose spontaneously. I suspect it may have been connected to a major move and beginning to establish stronger boundaries within my relationship.
- What spiritual practices have you engaged in, if any? How often? Are you aware that excessive spiritual practice can intensify kundalini symptoms, sometimes with delayed effects?
Before this, I had no involvement with spiritual practices.
After the awakening began, and after a period of deep self-reflection around trauma and behavioral patterns, I started feeling internally guided toward practices like meditation and movement. I began practicing the Five Tibetans at home and later attended a small kundalini yoga class focused mostly on breathing exercises, where I initially felt safe.
Eventually, I stopped both meditation and yoga because even very small practices seemed to intensify the symptoms too much. Even simple exercises could trigger strong energy movement. My nervous system eventually seemed to reject all spiritual practice.
I was not aware at the time that excessive spiritual practice could have delayed intensifying effects. Had I known, I likely would have stopped earlier. At times, however, the body seemed to force movement and kriyas on its own, and it felt easier to surrender to it than resist.
- Do you consider yourself sensitive to spiritual practices? If so, which practices affect you most, and how have you adapted?
Yes, I seem to be very sensitive to spiritual practices and energy-focused activities.
Meditation, yoga, inward focus, and spiritual content can intensify symptoms quickly. More recently, I’ve tried reducing overstimulation and focusing more on grounding and ordinary daily life, but I still fluctuate significantly emotionally and energetically. I can feel stable one day and then suddenly fall into deep grief the next.
- Do you believe drugs contributed to your kundalini situation?
No, I do not use drugs.
- Have you experienced traumatic events in your life that may relate to your current symptoms?
Yes. I’ve experienced significant stress and emotional trauma throughout life, including relationship-related trauma and long-term nervous system stress. I believe this may influence the intensity of the process.
- Does your sexual life affect your symptoms? Are you aware that restricting sexual release can sometimes intensify kundalini symptoms?
Sexual energy seems deeply connected to this process. At times, the sacral energy becomes overwhelming and emotionally confusing.
My relationship and intimacy have been heavily affected. I’ve struggled with intimacy partly because spontaneous kriyas have occurred during intimate moments, and because the relationship itself has been under strain. At the same time, intimacy, when it has happened, has sometimes felt deeply healing and freeing.
I’m not very knowledgeable about how sexuality specifically affects kundalini energy.
- What is your diet generally like? Are you aware that lighter diets can stimulate kundalini?
Over the past year, my lifestyle and eating habits changed dramatically. I now eat mostly vegetarian, reduced sugar and stimulants significantly, stopped drinking alcohol, and quit nicotine abruptly.
In the beginning, I experienced noticeable taste changes and intense surges of energy after quitting nicotine. I also began exercising daily and lost weight very quickly — around 10–12 kg in a short time, though I barely noticed it myself initially.
At the time, I wasn’t aware that diet could influence symptoms. Today I still eat vegetarian but less strictly than during the most intense phase.
- Do you exercise regularly? Are you aware that physical activity can help ground kundalini symptoms?
Yes. I try to stay grounded through ordinary life activities such as work, caring for my children, gardening, walking, bathing, and occasionally running.
Bathing has been especially regulating for me — I’ve practically lived in my bathtub at times. I was aware that physical activity could help grounding, though running has sometimes intensified the energy upward into my head instead.
- Are you a highly devotional person? Are you aware that excessive spiritual focus or study can worsen active kundalini?
I can become deeply absorbed in spiritual thinking and inner searching. I’m beginning to understand that excessive spiritual focus may worsen symptoms for me.
- Are you engaged in ordinary daily activities like work, parenting, family life, or social activities?
Yes. I work, parent my children, maintain a home, and try to remain engaged in ordinary life. However, there are periods where functioning becomes very difficult and I struggle to do much at all.
- Have you been evaluated or treated by medical or mental health professionals? What was the outcome?
I’ve spoken with healthcare professionals regarding emotional overload, anxiety-like symptoms, and possible PMDD-related mood swings. I was recently prescribed an SSRI related to menstrual symptoms, though I haven’t yet decided whether to begin taking it.
Before this process, I did not experience emotional instability at this level, although I previously had mild PMS symptoms.
- Are there any additional factors or measures you are working with that haven’t been mentioned?
Recently, I’ve been experiencing what feels like profound existential grief and loneliness, which is one of the reasons I’m writing here.
A few nights ago, I woke up with the words “proclaim independence” repeating internally, followed by a strong feeling that I needed to let go of something emotionally. After this, I entered an extremely deep state of grief that felt soul-level in intensity.
Something inside me kept crying out that it “wanted to go home.” Right now, the grief feels so overwhelming that I struggle to function normally. It feels similar to losing a loved one or experiencing profound unrequited love, though I don’t fully understand what is happening internally.
Throughouts this year, despite many difficult experiences, I usually still felt some sense of hope or inner support. Recently, however, I’ve begun feeling emotionally abandoned and lost.
No act is too small.