Hello Tristan,
Thank you for your patience with me. I admit that my previous statements about non-dual people were very poorly formulated. I see once again that it is not wise to seek understanding when one is not yet ready. I am very glad that you say such questions will eventually just fade away.
From my perspective, it seems as if there is “someone” in a special state who acts—though I realize this is nonsensical. It is more accurate to say that the universe is quite different from how I perceive it. The actions of these “persons” exhibit certain typical characteristics that could be described as constructive. In some way, I am aware that what you say represents the truth: not only is there no one who acts, but there is no action at all. However, for “persons” who do not experience this, living in these terms can be helpful; otherwise, one might feel as though they are simply sitting there and “doing nothing.”
As it appears, the enlightened consciousness exists outside of space and time. It seems there is not only no path to enlightenment but also no processes at all. This would imply a separation between two time points, wouldn’t it? I recall that in your video on non-duality, you say we recognize that everything changes while nothing changes. And in Zen, I guess it is said: “All places and times are the same.”
I once read a science fiction book in which a physicist, having an awakening experience, discovers a simultaneous theory of time. He expresses it by saying that everything is simple or has already happened, much like everything in a book is already written, and only the reader thinks they are moving through an action as they read. Surely, this is just another metaphor. However, one recognizes that non-duality seems to embody reality when looking at the double-slit experiment: The “single” photon not only goes through both slits simultaneously, but it also “notices” when one of the slits is closed after it has already passed through. Physicists say that if you calculate away the entanglement between distant quanta, and the information exchanges faster than light between them, then the model of space and time would also collapse. This is likely because there are not two quanta exchanging anything; rather, in truth, everything is one. It’s all quite strange…
Perhaps I framed my questions incorrectly from the beginning. Maybe I should have asked solely about the worldview that, from a dual perspective, you believe is the most accurate. As I mentioned, regarding heliocentric or geocentric views, one may seem more accurate than the other from a dual perspective, but from a non-dual viewpoint, both are probably equally incorrect since they describe individual objects.
Can the idea of a “Good” Christ consciousness within creation and an opposing force be used as a meaningful working model, or would that be as misguided as a geocentric worldview? Many religions teach this perspective, and it seems to make more sense than many other beliefs.
From this perspective, it sometimes appears rather cruel what unfolds within creation and on this Earth. One wonders why things must be this way to such an extent. Surely, one could be just as unique without the existence of things that are perceived as extremely negative by those who experience duality. There is sometimes a feeling that health is as it should be, while illness represents what should not be. Observing that miracles often occur in the presence of saints, rather than an increase in illnesses, leads one to think: If the divine flow expresses itself through these saints, it must be true that this aligns with divine will. In the Bhagavad Gita, it is stated, if I recall correctly, that God always acts through an avatar.
Perhaps I am not in the right place in life to philosophize about such matters. I am not sure if this is the appropriate venue to express this, but the context, or the situation from which these questions arise, is as follows:
As a child, I often felt prana flowing through my body, and I instinctively found myself sitting in a lotus position, as well as in a cross-legged position. This might not mean anything; perhaps children do such things and feel their prana more acutely. However, later on, it suggested an increased spiritual sensitivity. At the age of 15, I experienced mercury poisoning from an unknown source, which was later described as a medical miracle that I survived. I made it through and subsequently found very good doctors who could help, but my health was never fully restored. Eventually, a childhood friend from kindergarten pointed me to a book in which a young woman experienced healing through spiritual practices. At that time, my BMI was around 15, and I thought that having tried everything else, I might as well explore this avenue. I felt a strong attraction to these spiritual matters.
I began to meditate practically without any guidance (Vipassana). It came quite naturally, as if it were completely clear how it was done. Then I somehow stumbled upon the energy practices of the Five Tibetans. Although I could only manage a few repetitions physically, I almost immediately experienced energy overload with uncomfortable warmth, especially at night. As a result, I felt so unwell that I could no longer continue and inwardly asked for help.
Some time later, the doctor who had treated me for years spoke to me about a spiritual healing path. This was astonishing, or perhaps not. This doctor is someone who genuinely wants to help, yet he is also a scientist. Beyond his medical studies, he conducted his research and processed studies that are not taught in medical school (for instance, mercury poisoning is not recognized by many doctors). I think he has even received scientific awards for articles on neurological diseases.
I began following this healing path on April 17, 2020, which mainly consists of receiving healing Shaktipat. In just five months, I experienced my first health improvement in a very long time. At that time, I was 29. Additionally, I sensed that something more had awakened within me through the Five Tibetans—not only energetically but also an intuition of something that was only hinted at in this healing journey. It was a path I wanted to pursue, one that seemed even more important than “just” health, you know? To put it differently, I wanted to be healthy to be able to walk this path.
In the group that follows this healer, there is a belief that nothing else is needed to reach God, and there is a slight air of superiority toward those who are still seeking other avenues. However, this healer has stated that what he teaches is only 5% of the whole picture because, at that time, the focus was primarily on health… and it still is. Yet, something in me had already started moving beyond that, continuing to work even when no healing energy was being received. This was very evident, and I wanted to know what it was. I believe this desire led me to AYP.
For a while, I absorbed these healing energies and practiced the deep meditation from AYP because I felt that these healing energies made me anxious, and I admit there was simply too much Bhakti for my state at that time. The teachings associated with this healing path are also very focused on awakening devotion.
Around the time of my 30th birthday, I experienced a Kundalini awakening while sitting in front of an image of this healer. It was very gentle. I saw a transparent tube of light surrounded by two additional tubes that spiraled around it, with light particles flowing upward through all of them. At the same time, I felt vibrations in my pelvic floor and forehead, along with a gentle warm energy flow in between. This lasted only a few seconds, but whenever I recalled this vision in the days that followed, it was enough to clearly feel that current again. In fact, energy began to flow through my body day and night from that time onward, gently and from the bottom up. I admit that this was an early awakening given the number of blockages present (likely due to the mercury poisoning). However, I experienced no restrictions at first; I simply noticed that I had to shorten the AYP meditation to 10 minutes once a day to avoid overwhelming myself. At that time, despite the health assistance I received, I was not in very strong physical condition. My BMI was around 16, and many other issues were present. Yet, I managed my household, took relatively long walks, and even did some gardening. That was the same before and after the awakening.
However, I wanted to be completely healthy, so I attended meetings related to this healing path where a lot of healing Shaktipat is distributed. Afterward, I consistently noticed that the Kundalini flow, which had increased day and night, became unbalanced for several weeks, and there was a significant amount of energy rushing through my body (I even began to hear the sound of AUM). What can I say—I clearly recognized that I should be cautious. I was aware of the AYP advice concerning Shaktipat and early awakenings. But the drive to become healthy is a powerful motivator, and at these meetings, it was repetitively stated that this healing energy could never become too much. The spirit of this healer seemingly distributes the energy in a way that is appropriate for everyone in their respective situations; one can receive it as long as they like, and it cannot be overwhelming.
It was explained that the problems of receiving too much energy come from yoga or Qi Gong, which have led some people to psychiatric care. However, they claimed that it could not happen with this energy, and there was no need to worry. The leader of the organization shared stories of Indian yogis who were said to have claimed that with this healer’s path, “it goes the fastest.” This was interpreted to mean that it is overall the fastest and, yes, also the best path (the “highest” path) that exists. I consider this arrogance. How can a path be the “highest” if it ends in God? (It is noticeable that no one following this path has yet reached non-duality, but let’s put that aside for now.) I think these Indian yogis surely say “that it is the fastest way” because any path with Shaktipat is quicker than one without it, and that, particularly in India, students are usually more traditionally provided with strong practices. But again, let’s leave that aside…
I then also spoke with a leader of a community who is also a yoga teacher, and the advice was the same: Let go of all concerns, completely trust the spirit of this healer, and simply absorb the energy. It was quoted, “Whoever surrenders themselves completely to me, I will lead directly to God.” I should have used my intuition and given more significance to her remark that she actually knows nothing about Kundalini since she only teaches yoga.
On another occasion, I was given a written account in which an Indian guru was said to have told a student that this healer was the “master of all masters” and that the student no longer needed the guru after having found this healer.
The members of this community seem to misunderstand this notion of “master of all masters” a bit. It is not evident to me that this healer placed himself above the Indian teachers (or any human being, for that matter). However, I can recognize that he has appreciated the “life and teachings of the masters from the Far East,” and I think he would have taught more from that perspective if there had been anyone at that time who was willing or even interested in such teachings. In fact, much of what he has said sounds very similar to Eastern teachings to my ears, only people do not recognize this because they don’t truly want to know about these Eastern teachings.
How sad that statements which simply demonstrate respect among masters are today used to categorize people into those who follow this specific path and everyone else, so that those who belong can feel more knowledgeable than all the others.
I do believe that this healer must be considered a truly great master. The exhibited siddhis are indeed grand signs, and as a child, this healer reported how he would go into the forest: “And it always felt to me as if my entire inner self expanded into infinity.” As an adult, he would then say things like, “I am here and everywhere at the same time.” I think he is the reincarnation of a very specific well-known teacher, but I think it would be wrong to name my suspicion concretely here. He must have been some kind of master before, as such a thing does not come from a single life, in my opinion. Regardless of how great he was, he behaved very humbly.
I told myself, “Now just trust here once and stop overthinking, just like everyone else in this organization does, and they succeed.”
I then absorbed a very large amount of this healing energy at the end of August 2022 by placing the image of this healer on my body and also under my head at night, just as advised. I know that other images of yogis also emit energy, but the energy that comes from the images of this healer is extraordinary. My entire body began to tingle like an ant hill. I did this for several days in a row—at night and during the day when I lay down. Additionally, I rewatched the documentary about this healer, which is quite long and also transmits energy. I have often heard reports of such behavior being associated with reported healings, and I later confirmed that this is indeed considered correct behavior according to this teaching.
I engaged in this practice for more than a week and felt progressively worse each day. However, I reassured myself that these were normal healing reactions, which are often reported to “knock you down,” so to speak. Since I could not determine that the healing energy provided during this time was diminishing on its own, I thought it must be acceptable, as it is said that everyone receives exactly as much energy as is appropriate for their individual condition.
At some point, I guess on the tenth day, there was an opening at the heart chakra. I am not sure whether it was complete or only partial. In any case, it felt as though strings of heat were emanating from it, flowing through my body and especially through my arms. This was very uncomfortable, and my elbows started to hurt significantly. In a sort of chain reaction, there were openings or partial openings throughout my body, and it felt somewhat like a hot wind was driving glass shards through me. Naturally, sleep was almost out of the question, and I would now describe the experience as simply an “extreme experiencing of stress.” Psychologically, I had intrusions, irrational fears, and compulsive behaviors, which are gradually dissipating now, two and a half years later, as the energies slowly stabilize.
The first eight months, however, saw my blood pressure and heart rate constantly elevated, and I could even see both carotid arteries pulsating when I looked in the mirror. Whenever larger blockages were released, and energy flowed out through my hands and feet, my feet or fingers would occasionally swell up. My performance capacity was significantly reduced; when I had to go down to the basement to fetch food, it became a balancing act to decide whether I could manage that on any given day. Bending down to tie my shoes, for example, was something I avoided due to the extreme blood pressure, as it caused a significant amount of prana to flow into my crown.
I then naturally stopped absorbing the additional healing energy. The advice from AYP was helpful, although the most important healing factor that ultimately helped against the excesses of energy was, and still is, patience.
There have been a few difficult situations, particularly because the energy flow has increased every year in the spring, roughly between mid-April and the end of May. This seems correlated with the biorhythm, and this year it was not so intense, for which I was prepared and did not worry. However, the first time the energies were already extremely high, and then became stronger day by day for weeks, I reacted a bit paranoid because I could not discern whether my behavior contributed to this situation or not.
It seems to be correct to bring the energies into the central back channel and ensure they connect to the forehead. I had feared an early opening of the crown for quite some time, as there was a lot of activity there; however, that did not occur. Recently, Ida and Pingala have awakened in the nose, allowing energy to flow more easily into the forehead. Centering at the solar plexus also helps. I do all of this while lying down because even an upright sitting position tends to agitate the energies again. Everything gets better as time goes by, but the first one and a half years were not fun.
Strangely, I still have confidence in this healing path, even though not everything is taken word for word (the healer himself warned against following everything said too literally). During a conversation with my former community leader, I received an intuitive message about how to proceed with my healing journey, and I trust that, even if not much enlightening was said verbally. I could certainly feel that she truly wished the best for me from the bottom of her heart.
As I mentioned: everything does get better, but there are still occasional dissolutions of entire systems of blockages that can be quite exhausting. For a long time, I convinced myself that it didn’t matter, and that I should be glad to be on the spiritual path at all. Many people simply go through life and never embark on the great journey. But at the moment, I must admit that it has shaken me and my worldview a bit. I mean, what words should we, who are at the beginning of the path, believe if not those from such great messengers of God? (And it was said back then that the energies are given exactly as they should be.) This has indeed left a few spiritual bruises.
I wanted to believe in the great fairy tale where the magic wand is simply waved, and one becomes healthy. For many, it seems to work like that, even if they have been declared medically nearly dead; my condition was such that I could still walk quite well and do things. Yet, it turned out that, like in many other situations, one simply has to be critical and reasonable. It’s essential to listen to oneself, regardless of how seemingly experienced people might advise otherwise (those who advised me are, after all, twice my age and have decades of experience on the spiritual path, particularly in this special healing journey).
Don’t get me wrong; I do not wish to disparage this path or be ungrateful. One can truly come here with very severe illnesses and heal, and everything is free of charge. If one no longer feels inclined to continue, no one bothers or tries to keep them in the organization, as might be the case with some cults. This is a wonderful thing made possible by the voluntary work of many helpers worldwide, and I do not want to harm that. The people who advised me genuinely wanted the best for me. However, when I finally managed to express myself somewhat clearly again and began sharing my experiences and asking for advice on how to proceed, it became apparent that they had absolutely no idea—really none at all. They had never even heard the word “Kundalini.”
I was somewhat viewed as an oddity because they had “already spoken to so many people and had never heard anything like it.” They advised me to simply banish it from my body, wish it away, and instead start taking in the healing energy again, since it supposedly came directly from God. They also questioned whether I couldn’t just believe that these were normal healing processes, etc.
I then made various attempts to bring this issue to the attention of people in leadership positions within the community, but they refuse to listen. It feels as though I am talking to closed doors. These individuals believe that if the healer has not mentioned it, then it must not be important to know. They say, “That’s a yoga term; it has nothing to do with us; it must have originated from yoga.” Yet, I had completely stopped all yoga exercises, including the 10-minute meditation from AYP, at least eight months before this happened, in order to fully dedicate myself to this healing path as recommended.
At worst, I was told and read that I should not suggest something to myself that is not real or should not make myself feel important, and that it would be best if I behaved “completely unremarkably.” I was advised once again to trust and absorb the healing energy.
However, I think the experience of awakening is quite typical. For several months now, nectar has also been regularly present. It’s not so much that it oozes out onto the skin, but there is this sweet taste in my mouth, even though I haven’t eaten anything. It tastes a bit like acacia honey and is quite noticeable. Even when I drink water, it tastes sweet, and I haven’t heard of anyone who only absorbs the healing energy reporting this. Thus, I believe it is indeed Kundalini.
The people in this organization seem to not understand that Kundalini is just the yoga term for a mechanism that is built into every human being and can awaken in everyone because it is part of being human. Christians in monasteries experience similar things, though they call it by different names. It’s not as if breathing oxygen has nothing to do with you just because you practice a different faith. I see it as stated here in AYP: any spiritual practice can awaken Kundalini if it is strong enough, and the devotion in this organization is truly incredible.
From the Middle Ages, we know that praying and devotion are enough to achieve this, and those who are in this organization pray with great dedication and sometimes feel intensely in their bodies for hours or focus on the sensations from this Shaktipat. Many who join already have prior spiritual practices or do yoga asanas on the side because it is said to be good for the back. The leader of the organization reportedly performs additional breathing exercises, probably without really thinking about it.
My heart is still attached to this healing path and to the person of this healer—perhaps that is one reason I am so strict with the members of the organization. The healings are real, as I have spoken with people who have experienced it themselves, and I do not believe they are making things up or that this was only psychosomatic discomfort, especially since the healing energy truly exists.
I even wish that my parents would become members there and absorb the healing energy, as they could use it. And of course, I wouldn’t wish for any seeker of healing to have to go through what I have endured. I think I would feel better if I could bring about some change in this matter. It wouldn’t take much; just a few community leaders should have heard the term Kundalini and know the signs and say, “In your case, be careful, and only absorb as much healing energy as you feel is right.” But what can I do? If only one in 10,000 people experiences Kundalini, then in this organization, which has more than 80,000 members, it concerns more than just me.
I believe a new era is dawning where more and more people will experience this, and I will not be alone with this issue in the organization, especially as more young people join who have already meditated.
Now, it has been suggested that none of this would have happened without the additional mantra meditation from AYP. However, I do not find that likely. From the very beginning, there has been an additional flow of energy alongside the healing energy on this healing path, if I assess it correctly. For example, at night or when I had to concentrate and sit upright or when I had physically exerted myself greatly, I experienced this energy. Other members report rather feeling like a drained battery afterward, rather than bursting with energy.
During the reception of the healing energy, there was also a noticeable amount of automatic yoga, including things like Mulabandha, forms of Shambavi Mudra, and even Fire Breath. Other members of this community report physical movements during the reception of the healing energy, but not to the same extent as I have experienced. There were also phases of intense sexual arousal during or after the energy transmission, which I interpret as an indication that Kundalini was already making its presence known.
Overall, I would say that AYP has been very helpful. Otherwise, I would not have known what was happening and that it is good to connect the energy to the third eye instead of the crown, and so on. Apart from that, it is not a valid argument; if it is stated that everyone receives the healing energy in exactly the measure that is right for their individual situation, then an already stirring or active Kundalini must automatically be taken into account.
I can only interpret this to mean that this assumption is no longer true today and that, in the end, it does make a difference whether the healer is physically present in front of you or if they are acting as a disembodied spirit.
Furthermore, is there anyone here who believes that Kundalini could not awaken early if an energy-emitting object is placed on the spine overnight, as people in this organization do who wish to be healed from back injuries? Or that, as in my case, the unrestrained intake of additional energy can throw an early but stable process out of balance?
Those who belong to this community live in the firm belief that this special healing energy can be applied to any problem if one wishes. This seems to be confirmed by many experiences, but they also cannot understand that one cannot use the reception of this healing energy to remedy symptoms caused by an excess of inner energy. They seem closed to the idea that, in this case, more energy leads to more energy and instead recommend ways to take in the healing energy more effectively, such as together.
In early 2024, I consciously took in small doses of this healing energy again, and I found that it increased the subsequent flow of inner energy and also led to temporary intense activities at the crown, which I considered concerning, so I stopped again.
I have strayed far from the topic now…
Somehow, I couldn’t hold back after deciding to share this, but I think it is now easier to understand the perspective from which the questions I initially posed originated.
I watched your video about non-duality, in which you explain that even the stars are contained within oneself and are not perceived as separate from the self. From my perspective, however, the stars seem very far away, and when many blockages dissolve in my abdomen, I sometimes feel a bit angry or sad. In those moments, I find myself asking, “My God, what is all this about?” There seems to be a lot of sorrow on this Earth.
The teachings of this healer are very dualistic; the word “test” comes up repeatedly, which can lead to an old-fashioned image of God. I mean, who is testing whom and why? Yet, such phases pass. At first, your responses struck me as somewhat strange. They seemed to contradict everything I had begun to believe about a loving God. It looked a bit as if we were simply inconsequential to Him, as in the end, it is all just a joke. But that perspective stems from duality: We are here, and God is there. Ultimately, it helped me, so thank you for that.
It seems that religions can only offer parables about how things truly are. And I do not understand how things really are, and if I claimed that I did, it would probably be a bad sign. However, somehow there is now a certainty within me that everything is alright with the universe and everything else, that “someday” all karma and all shadows will truly be gone as if they had never existed, because duality will be resolved. And that it will be good.
The game seems to have a kind of backdoor that transcends the entire struggle. In my words, I would say that good can never truly lose because, in reality, there is no struggle and no shadow; what we perceive as good are essential qualities of the non-dual reality.
Today is indeed a different time when one does not need to climb a mountain to ask those who are so advanced that they can directly perceive these non-dual things in relation to God. It is possible to formulate these questions critically and then discuss them (as if I could indeed be right— I must laugh a little about myself at this point). In the past, someone would have likely told me that such questions are blasphemous and that I should refrain from them. However, it seems that the truth is more about refraining from such things because one does not comprehend them, and merely asking the question already contains false notions.
It is good that there is a place where such experiences can be shared, especially when one is not allowed to talk about them in their “own” community.
And I thought I’d report it because it shows how important the concept of self-pacing is along the way.
I hope that an extra-long contribution will be accepted—I will try to be more concise in the future. Thank you once again.
