Having entered a phase of relatively stable ecstatic conductivity and bliss that is present in the background whenever attention is given to the stillness I have realized my expectations and reality haven’t perfectly aligned. I started AYP practices as a way to stabilize and integrate a kundalini awakening. I was, and continue to be, grateful to Yogani for outlining a science based process for channeling this re-discovered life force. I struggled with marital challenges and these practices gave me access to tools to cope. I desperately wanted to believe in the notion I could live in a state of 24/7 ecstatic bliss. I have shared in the past the two types of spiritual paths I had read about. One, suggested you could achieve a state of liberation that was permanent. Eckhart Tolle in his teachings suggested he essentially entered this state one night and it lasted for months and became stable after some time as a permanent state. The other camp was much more sobering, and nicely captured in the title of the book by Jack Kornfield, “After the ecstasy, the laundry”. When I read Yogani’s promise of 24/7 ecstatic bliss I bought into this as a better path (I’m not a big fan of laundry!).
After 6 years of practicing I have come to accept (for me) the 24/7 refers to a background state of peace with access to ecstatic currents with attention/intention (thanks Dogboy for this framing). As I reflect on my journey now, I realize I’ve chased the unrealistic state of walking around in orgasmic bliss. After a recent deep dive into this topic with ChatGPT it responded with this short statement which I find meaningful. Yogani’s language about “24/7 ecstatic bliss” is, in my view, aspirational metaphor presented as developmental inevitability . It did go on to suggest some individuals may be able to achieve this but suggested this can create disappointment. There is no question the practices continue to slowly evolve for me so I hold onto the possibility this process may mature into that reality some day. I sense the need for me is to revise my expectations some and share my process for those who may feel disappointed by not achieving that result quickly.
