Having entered a phase of relatively stable ecstatic conductivity and bliss that is present in the background whenever attention is given to the stillness I have realized my expectations and reality haven’t perfectly aligned. I started AYP practices as a way to stabilize and integrate a kundalini awakening. I was, and continue to be, grateful to Yogani for outlining a science based process for channeling this re-discovered life force. I struggled with marital challenges and these practices gave me access to tools to cope. I desperately wanted to believe in the notion I could live in a state of 24/7 ecstatic bliss. I have shared in the past the two types of spiritual paths I had read about. One, suggested you could achieve a state of liberation that was permanent. Eckhart Tolle in his teachings suggested he essentially entered this state one night and it lasted for months and became stable after some time as a permanent state. The other camp was much more sobering, and nicely captured in the title of the book by Jack Kornfield, “After the ecstasy, the laundry”. When I read Yogani’s promise of 24/7 ecstatic bliss I bought into this as a better path (I’m not a big fan of laundry!).
After 6 years of practicing I have come to accept (for me) the 24/7 refers to a background state of peace with access to ecstatic currents with attention/intention (thanks Dogboy for this framing). As I reflect on my journey now, I realize I’ve chased the unrealistic state of walking around in orgasmic bliss. After a recent deep dive into this topic with ChatGPT it responded with this short statement which I find meaningful. Yogani’s language about “24/7 ecstatic bliss” is, in my view, aspirational metaphor presented as developmental inevitability . It did go on to suggest some individuals may be able to achieve this but suggested this can create disappointment. There is no question the practices continue to slowly evolve for me so I hold onto the possibility this process may mature into that reality some day. I sense the need for me is to revise my expectations some and share my process for those who may feel disappointed by not achieving that result quickly.
How about, “After the ecstacy, a 24/7 inner smile,” while doing the laundry and everything else?
In other words, over time, the ecstacy refines as it matures, but never goes away. In that there is permanent peace, happiness and an end of suffering, no matter what external circumstances (or the mind) may bring. It is our natural state in ordinary daily life, worth working (practicing) toward, and finally surrendering into.
Good to hear from you Interpaul! It was great to see you last August and hope all is stable in your life. The answer to having expectations go awry is not to have expectations to begin with, or if you do, keep them limbo-low. Conductivity has matured here over eight years, in the sense there is 24/7 access to subtle arousal that builds simply by having silence come forth and surrender into it. Of course this happens in sitting practice, but now it is available anytime there is desire for it. Grounding is so important because of the volume of practices I engage in daily (I am retired), and boundaries between things have blurred and overlapped, yoga, exercise, work, engagement, sex…all engage the shushumna and are felt in the body. What does it all mean? What do I do with this ability? I have no idea, I’m finding though it’s all about surrender and to just be in whatever plays out, without fear or expectation. This year has been one of surrendering: both of my daughters no longer live under my roof and our family is different yet again. With time on my hands, I do a combination of volunteering, errands, housework, exercise, and yoga of course. And Ive taken up dance! A year and a half now, maybe I’ll make a thread about it. This body feels as stable, balanced, joyful, and strong as it has ever been. I must be on the right track.
I know life is shifting for you too (only human) and you are figuring it out. Allow your access to your energetic body and pleasure ease your journey and possibly give you insight. We are lucky to have found our way to AYP.
p.s. Yogani is right on with smiling inner smile becomes outer smile and others begin to smile back. Stillness in action.
6 years might just not be enough to get to 24/7 ecstasic bliss, and there are plateaus on the path that might suggest nothing more is to come. But I don’t have any doubt anymore that there are plateaus that will feel like 24/7 ecstasy and 24/7 ecstasic bliss.
Retreats are a great way to climb out of such perceived plateaus. A temporary peak gives a clear view that dissolves doubts, and a long-term elevation boost makes that walking feel fresh again and even more enjoyable.
Yogani, Nice to see your reply. I like your reframe with the “inner smile”. Although I’m not able to handle all circumstances, I do sense the inner smile is growing.
Dogboy, Always appreciate your shared wisdom.
Tensor, I appreciate your enthusiasm. I have attended a couple retreats and have enjoyed them.
If retreats didn’t produce that boost for you, then maybe intensifying your current practice could. If you’re stable in you current practice and not close to the edge, you could add something from the AYP “buffet”? Some of these practices wouldn’t even take extra time. Those could then target cultivating more quickly the witness, or ecstatic conductivity or their merging (“ecstatic bliss”), depending on where you sense you want to make faster progress. Of course, being patient might be wiser. But I like to spice things up from time to time
I’m currently hyped about retreats, because they did so much for me, so I sometimes forget they might not work for everyone that way.
