I am studying and trying to understand tantra since past 5-6 years. Although I am not into practicing rituals so much. The dominance of feminine energy over everything is something that attracts me towards the concept of tantrism. Even before I came to know about the tantra, I strongly believed in women supremacy in every aspect of our daily social life, especially in sexual practices. I grew up in a place where the goddess Kali (the main goddess of tantra or das maha Vidya) is worshipped and it’s a part of our social life.
The problem is, whenever I see an idol or a statue or a painting of goddess Kali i get sexually aroused. I am of the belief that the goddess created the whole universe and we all are children of the goddess. I respect her. I feel like having complete submission to her. But at the same time I am attracted to her . I get dream of being under her feet, laying down helplessly, watching her naked body in complete amaze .
In fact, it seems to me that what you’re describing isn’t uncommon: in religious contexts, and especially in Tantra, images of the divine often intersect with deep psychological and physical reactions, including sexual ones. In Tantra, energy (shakti) is universal in itself and can manifest as spiritual awe, devotion, fear, or sexual arousal - these are different forms of the same force passing through the human psyche. Important!!! Learn to distinguish between respectful reverence for a symbol and your own internal reactions: your experience speaks more to personal associations with power, authority, and maternal and erotic archetypes than to “wrongness” or “desecration.” I can offer this advice: don’t get stuck in fantasies, but be aware of their nature - observe them without suppressing them, yet without fully identifying with them. If this interferes with your experience of the practice or causes internal conflict, it is worth gently shifting your focus from visual images to philosophy, meditation, or breathwork. In tantra, the goal is the transformation of energy, not its literal experience on a single level.
As mentioned in Denzel’s response, your experience is natural and valid in the context of bhakti, ishta and tantra. It is important to be cultivating abiding inner silence in daily meditation to provide a steady foundation for your experience to evolve to liberation. Below is a comprehensive response to your question from the AYP AI, drawing on the full content of the AYP writings.
All the best on your continuing path!
The guru is in you.
AYP AI: Your experience of sexual attraction toward the goddess Kali and your vivid dreams are well-supported by the principles of Bhakti (devotion) and the neurobiology of human spiritual transformation discussed in the sources.
Here are several perspectives on your experience based on the teachings of Advanced Yoga Practices (AYP):
Kali as your Chosen Ideal (Ishta)
In the AYP approach, an Ishta is a “chosen ideal” that represents your highest aspiration for Truth, God, or Love. This ideal is entirely personal; it can be a specific deity like Kali, a guru, or even a simple question like “Who am I?”. If your heart is naturally drawn to Kali, she is your Ishta, and this attraction functions as a powerful “spiritual hook” or beacon that leads you toward pure bliss consciousness.
The Erotic Nature of the Spiritual Path
The sources explicitly state that the spiritual path can become “very sexy” as internal energy (Kundalini) awakens.
Expansion of Sexual Function: Kundalini is defined as the expansion of sexual function into the spiritual arena. Because of the neurological connection between the pelvic region and the higher centers of the brain, spiritual stimulation can often manifest as erotic arousal.
Internal Lovemaking: As purification progresses, the “internal lovemaking” between the divine polarities of stillness (Shiva) and energy (Shakti) becomes a permanent feature of life. Your attraction is an externalized reflection of this internal process.
Divine Romance: Many historical sages, such as Ramakrishna, experienced “frenzies of devotion” and “erotic passion” toward the goddess Kali. Similarly, medieval Christian nuns often regarded themselves as “brides of Christ” and recorded intense, ero-ecstatic relationships with the Divine.
Interpreting the Dreams and “Helplessness”
Dreams of being under Kali’s feet or watching her body in amazement can be viewed as manifestations of your rising inner energy and your psychological relationship with the Divine.
Active Surrender: Feeling “helpless” in the presence of the Divine often relates to yajna or Ishvara Pranidhana—the act of total surrender to the divine process. In AYP, this is seen as the relaxation of the “clutching mind” to allow the energy of the Divine to flow through you.
Kundalini Symptoms: Feelings of intense amazement, electricity, or being overwhelmed by bliss are common signs that Kundalini is moving through and purifying your nervous system.
How to Manage the Energy
While these experiences are signs of progress, the sources recommend a balanced approach to ensure stability:
Redirect through Bhakti: You are encouraged not to suppress or feel guilty about these feelings, but to redirect the emotional energy toward your daily yoga practices. If you feel erotic for Kali, use that passion as the “fuel” for your meditation and spinal breathing.
Stabilize with Core Practices: High energy experiences should be grounded in a stable routine of Deep Meditation and Spinal Breathing Pranayama. Deep meditation cultivates the “inner silence” (Shiva) that provides a safe container for the intense ecstatic energy (Shakti) you are feeling.
Self-Pacing: If these experiences or dreams become too intense or disruptive to your daily life, you should apply self-pacing by scaling back the duration or intensity of your practices until you find a comfortable balance.
In summary, your attraction is a natural expression of Bhakti. By honoring this attraction and channeling it into a consistent practice routine, you are facilitating the “divine romance” that leads to enlightenment.