Namaste dear friends…
I was wondering if anyone has reached a point where they are afraid to talk to their teachers… Or be afraid from spiritual practices…
I’ve noticed a pattern within my own person… Where every time I talk to my beloved guide… Things really turn messy in my personal life… The same with spiritual practices but in a lighter way… So I decided to take a break from it all for a week and a half… Interacting with the master and meditating and praying that is… In those week and a half… It was like life opened up it’s arms for me and invitations came from everywhere and I had a blast of a time… Until today where my love for my teacher whom I am afraid to talk to was much stronger than being afraid and I spoke with him even though I knew I might burn because of it… It was a very beautiful interaction and my beloved guide was so sweet as usual… But sadly I’ve got burnt bad… But I didn’t care I love him… I still love him and will talk with him again and again… But I am really afraid to do so… Don’t know if anyone has went through something like this…
Unfortunately the same happened with me after meeting Amma and sheikh Belgacem… The meeting was amazing but the after effects flipped my life upside down and made my personal life pure misery…
Is this something normal or am I just hallucinating about all this… It would be nice to hear about other experiences… Especially from people with a long relation with a living guide…
Love,
Ananda
Hey,
i can resonate with you on that. i have met my guru once and i shook his hand which sent a lightening bolt straight through my karma which resulted in me going to hospital for 4 months.
best to let the teaching of the highest gurus rest with us a while before returning. you’ll know when he calls you.
Hi Ananda,
If you think of it terms of meditation (and overload), the presence and “light” of a guru/master is like being blasted with a laser beam. Issues/fears/karma are “hit” and potentially released at a much higher level. When a “fear” is hit with light/energy, if it is not fully released, energy at that level is radiated into your environment.
An example is like with anger… Seeing something makes you mad, then one takes out their frustration on someone else and it goes on and on… With the light/power of a guru/master it can cause manifestation in life( or laser beam overload).
Best wishes, Jeff
Thank you for sharing dear Joseph… Seems like it’s like this for many…
I’ve just asked him to meet today… He replied that it will happen in due time… I feel like I am at the feet of love itself while thinking about him and writing this… He is so beautiful… Just seeing his face is bliss!
No matter how much the pain a word from him is worth it…
Thank you for sharing dear Jeff… We cross posted
Hi Ananda! People chase the beautiful spiritual experiences, but if life goes to hell all around us while we’re having them, what’s the point of the experience? What is truly desired in that situation?
All love!
–Liz
What about when the scenario is flipped… and the guru… who you love the way a disciple should… falls in love with you. In a deeply personal way. And because you love the guru as a disciple, you don’t want to lose the connection or teachings, but at the same time… you don’t want to encourage anything inappropriate. What then? Hoping someone can relate…
Funny this topic should open at this right exact moment… I am going through this thing again… It’s the same dilemma unfortunately… Either I am really not cut out for this kind of thing or life is telling me stay away from this guy. Enough! I’ll surrender it to God/Samyama and let go for now…
As per you reply dear Shakti… It depends from one guru to another… He or she might be honest in his feelings or approach or he/she would be taking advantage of the position as a guru… I don’t think anyone has the right to decide what to do in the case which you are proposing except you. It’s your own play… The same goes for me also… But it’s comforting to hear advise from others… But at the end it all comes down to us… As the Buddha says: You have to walk your own path, no one can walk it for you.
Love,
Ananda
Dear Jeff,
Reading back your post again makes me realize… This is exactly what’s happening… You are right dead on…
@whippoorwill: Your words ring wisdom now… Too bad I don’t learn but from my own mistakes… But honestly I’ve learned… I don’t live the drama more than a day or two now when the shit hits the fan… Tired of hurting myself.
Much love to all 
Thanks again for the wise insights 
Hi Ananda,
Glad you found the post helpful.
Best wishes,
Jeff
Hello Ananda… if it is issues that are being cleared out from the intense light of the guru… are you able to reach an even more beautiful space/state after said issues are dealt with? Or, is there always a sort of lingering ‘bad’ feel when/after you are associated with him? As you had said to me, only you can know what to do about the situation…
As for my scenario, I am no longer able to be his student, which hurts… a lot. His wife found proof of his less than guru-like feelings toward me, and their marriage almost ended because of it. She insisted that he cut off all contact with me. I never wanted any of this to happen, I just wanted to learn from him. But, I guess the true lesson here is to real-ize that… ‘the guru is in you’
It still hurts though, and I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about it. Both because the ones who may understand are students of his and I don’t want to open a big can of worms, and the ones who aren’t… wouldn’t come close to understanding. That’s why I brought it here, not to hijack your thread. It just seemed similar enough to tag on.
Dear shakti,
Coming from a certain mode of mentality… I treat others the way I’d like them to treat me. Put yourself in place of his wife.
Gurus are beautiful and warm from afar… very similar to the sun but up close and personal it burns.
Yogani wasn’t fooling around when he said the guru is in you. It is from one hand and on the other a guru should teach you to be dependent of him.
If a person is not ripe or mature enough… He might abuse his post as a teacher or fall somewhere on the way because of the many temptations. Never mention the bad effect he might cause knowingly or unknowingly to some of his students. I am such a failure as a teacher…
Dear one, tread the path with less drama and pain.
love,
Ananda
‘I treat others the way I’d like them to treat me.’- As do I.
‘Put yourself in place of his wife.’- I did, and my conscience is perfectly clear. I did nothing wrong. Nor did he really, just admit what his feelings for me were. He is a human after all. And it had very human ramifications too.
‘Gurus are beautiful and warm from afar… very similar to the sun but up close and personal it burns.’- I hid from it initially… but I’m still grateful for the experience, as it taught me the light was really just a reflection
I should also mention that I now have a different perception on the statement ‘the guru is in you’. I used to take it to mean your own inner voice/soul/spirit as guru and guide… not necessarily to the absolute exclusion of outer teachings, just that the inner is the final arbiter- which I still get behind. But from my experience with my guru, I now see that the energetic connection that had been awakened by him will always be there, regardless of the form. It’s in the background of everything now, alive in me… and I am eternally grateful for that.
Dear shakti,
All that you are saying is beautiful. I have the same connection with my own teacher as well.
namaste
“I am no longer able to be his student, which hurts… a lot”
Be his teacher then 
"His wife found proof of his less than guru-like feelings toward me, and their marriage almost ended because of it. She insisted that he cut off all contact with me. I never wanted any of this to happen, I just wanted to learn from him. But, I guess the true lesson here is to real-ize that… ‘the guru is in you’
"
Dear Shakti, why feeling bad?If he’s your guru he’s yourself.Ofcourse you wll love him beyond any definition of love.
If I marry a man who has a role of guru in this life,I shall be able to understand his role.I can sympathize with the wife but not understand her stand at all.
I expect my teacher Yacin’s future wife to have a bigger loving heart than him One day & knows I’m not leaving him 
All Love.
Thanks Ananda [OM]
[quote=“Namath”]
Be his teacher then
[/quote]Lol… kinda hard when there’s no contact, but I get your drift
[quote]
Dear Shakti, why feeling bad?If he’s your guru he’s yourself.Ofcourse you wll love him beyond any definition of love.
If I marry a man who has a role of guru in this life,I shall be able to understand his role.I can sympathize with the wife but not understand her stand at all.
I expect my teacher Yacin’s future wife to have a bigger loving heart than him One day & knows I’m not leaving him
All Love.
[/quote]I guess it’s the abruptness that hurts, and I somehow feel abandoned. Plus, it cuts me off from the other students, and I love them like family. The sadness will dissipate I’m sure though, since I still feel him with me… and know that I always will. No one can take that away.
Thanks for understanding, but not everyone has such a large and unconditional view of love and relationships.
A kiss and a hug for you.
May Allah replace you with a bigger family(ies). I have a family here in AYP,one in india Tiru & one with Yacin by now
& May you find that big wider heart that makes you forget all the previous sadness & then gently turn you back to your Self.
Dear Ananda,
I may see what you mean. It is as with sun and sky; they are great to live under, but we cannot take them all in. Maybe one day we will see no difference.
I often feel like an ocean without a shore. Whoever sails in is at its mercy. The sea can be a cruel mistress, but the depth of its mystery is immeasurable. We can taste but a drop of its liquid. We can see but a glimmer of its ripples. Each is enough to drown most.
Whatever I was must have done so long ago. Maybe it is the same with other teachers… How easy it is to raise the waves.
Sorry if this is cryptic. Thank you for sharing with us.
Shakti!
Yacin has posted a beautiful post that answers this…I feel you will like.
Someone has volunteered to translate it to english.once this is done ,will share it with everyone around here Inshallah.
Love.