I’ve been practicing SBP and DM intermittently for years now. When I visualize tracing the spinal nerve up and down, it is as if my viewpoint is behind and to the right of my body. Like it’s difficult for me to visualize dead center behind my body. Recently I spoke to a friend, who has awakened kundalini. He told me if things aren’t done correctly, the energy can move in a wrong way and cause problems; he moved his hand towards his shoulder, indicating a lateral movement. Lately I’ve felt the Nadis that run down the left side of my nose, but not really on the right side of my nose. Could my imperfect visualization lead to this kind of difficulty?
I have OCD, so if I get fixated on something, like the idea of things being uneven, it may make it worse; in other words, the uneven feeling will seem worse from trying to fix it or from fixating on it. Any advice welcome.
I have had pretty much the same situation as you - the assumption of a side-imbalance based on own experience. For example - I remember when doing YMK, the ring in the forehead would only fill half way… like a half circle of light and the other side shut off blank. This was just one example - a rather convincing one for me - but I also had an angle in perspective, like you are referring to.
What the mind is adding to that situation, is that something is wrong.
Be it an angle in perspective or a lightring only filling up half - these are the experiental expressions of the given situation in the subtle nervous system. The situation from where we are moving onwards. So the angle that worries you is not the cause of imbalance but an effect that will be overcome and balanced out by gently favoring the center over time.
By gently favoring, we are nudging the stream easily without strain and without trying to force things driven by a misconception in the mind.
I have to admit that I failed in that regard to some degree, as I was trying to push and was engaged in side focus practices (in addition to the AYP baseline practices) in order to “correct the situation faster and with more force”. I didnˋt do me any favor. Of course I cannot tell what would be if I would have only sticked to the plan and only worked with center related practices, but I can tell you for sure that things started to come back into balance over time when I abandoned this ‘side manipulating approach’ and trusted.
I think we all come to the path with a more or less side-imbalanced system and therefore having more or less issues with it. I know the worries can be convincing, but in a framework of self-paced practices which are gently favoring the root-to-brow-connection, the energies will find their way and things will clear out.
You have received good advice from Michael. Just to add to that, if you notice yourself becoming concerned during your Spinal Breathing Pranayama practice that you are observing the spinal nerve from what you think is the wrong place, then simply favour the spinal nerve with your attention over being concerned about where to observe it from. Gradually, over time, you will lose the concern and become absorbed by the spinal nerve. At some point the attention moves inside the spinal nerve, so your concern would disappear completely at that point, if it has not dissolved already beforehand.
The practice of Spinal Breathing Pranayama itself actually corrects a number of imbalances, if they are present, not just left/right imbalances. But this can take time and it can be the case that the imbalance needs to be present for a while, due to the specific karma of the individual. In other words, what is happening in any given moment can be exactly what should be happening.
Thank you Michael and Tristan for the advice and insights.
I think since the beginning of practicing SBP, I’ve unintentionally visualized the spinal nerve from an angle. I wasn’t too worried until my friend mentioned the possibility of things going wrong. He has gently warned me of things before, and he repeated it a few times, so he wanted me to take notice. He had a friend years ago who had a spiritual emergency from kundalini so he might have mentioned this because of his friend’s issues. I don’t know what practices his friend might have been doing.
I will continue practicing, and try not to fixate on the imbalance, as that tends to worsen the perception of it for me. Another thing OCD can cause is intrusive thoughts, so if I have a fear of thoughts that can could cause problems, that leads to the thought coming up. For example, I try to visualize the spinal nerve as a golden light, but sometimes the thought comes up that it’s black instead, which seems dangerous. So if that happens, I go back to visualizing it as golden light.
I read the lesson on left-right imbalances, and will keep practicing as suggested.
There is no need to worry about “thoughts that could cause problems” as the fundamental ambition is pointing in the right direction.
Thoughts may come in different shapes and colours, leading to thoughts about the meaning of different colours and shapes… but the yearning in our heart is unambiguous.
We can trust and relax into that longing and find more ease in allowing ourself to leave the rest.
When practicing Spinal Breathing Pranayama it is fine to visualise the spinal nerve from any direction. It could be visualised from behind, or in front, or to the left, or right, or from above or below. It will not make any difference to the practice. The practice works because the attention is moving along the spinal nerve between the root chakra and the ajna chakra. It is the point of focus of the attention that it important, not where the observation is taking place from.