Hello Fellow AYPers,
It’s been a while and I truly hope you’ve all been well. I’ve been meditating and doing pranayama along with mulabandha & sambavi will sitting in siddhasana. Per the lessons, this has been a daily practice, although due to life circumstances I’ve fallen back to once in the day and I want to get back to twice daily as soon as I can.
During sitting practices, I no longer use my hand to cup the genitals in advanced siddhasana. Instead, I’ve moved to the thumbs touching and resting in lap. It feels much more comfortable and removes the feelings of restlessness and agitation I used to have following seated practices.
After several days of sexual abstinence I decided to masturbate. A long session of solo training, where I’d holdback and block by flexing the perineum. I did this over the course of the session and would stop at the peak. I’d feel the sensations of a strong orgasm but stop again at the peak. While doing this I felt the rush and waves of internal energy rushing up my spine and body. It’s the first time I’ve felt it so strongly and vividly. Well after a bit of that I decided to conclude the session with the full release. However, when I allowed myself to finally go over the edge, nothing came out (no ejaculation) I mean nothing only the feeling of orgasm followed by energy rushing through the body.
As you’d imagine I was and am highly confused. I waited a day or two and decided to try it again but shortened the holdback timeframe. Managed to feel orgasm and waves rushing through the body during holdback and minimal blocking. Once I decided to end this session and ejaculate..I again found that I couldn’t do so externally but a literal drop or two did come out. But it wasn’t a normal ejaculation, the strong feelings of orgasm were there and if anything I felt it inside all internally.
I’m in this phase of essentially making sure something isn’t “broken or damaged”. So I’ve gone to quick sessions to “test”, where even going straight to orgasm at the point of “ejaculation” only a couple drops sort of fall out. I noticed my perineum is no longer pumping or flexing to force the semen out—actually it’s inactive at the point of orgasm and the energy just rushes up.. minimal seminal or physical release..after a few times of self testing the same result.
I don’t feel any pain or any discomfort. Just trying to make more sense of this. Also, I don’t feel depleted at the point of orgasm like I used to prior to my mediation days. Instead, I feel the same if not a bit more energized.
To me now it seems pointless to continue to engage in solo masturbation with the purpose of orgasm. As if my body is now instructing me to leave this act I’ve carried so long with me, behind.
Is this change in ejaculation function normal and more importantly is it a part of AYP and expected at some point along the journey?
I wanted to know your thoughts. Have you experienced this and is this a sign of progress, growth and spiritual advancement?
Thank you in advance,
Reno