It’s true what you said, thank you for sharing this old post 
Hi Anthem
It is interesting I am seeing this post right now. For the last couple of months 3-4 I think, I have done almost no practices, a few sittings here and there, some self-inquiry (which, before this period began, I did tons, lots and lots…), which is also beginning to stop. Well this time there were just so many changes in my life biologically, mentally, emotionally, big letting-go’s (people passing away). So practices didn’t suit me, I just knew I wouldn’t be able to practice (and it might cause an even bigger stir, whereas just being with it all in a gentle way was, for me, the best thing this time).
So I can really relate. (also like you, before this period besides tons of self inquiry, and watching youtubes of spiritual teachers like mooji tolle and adya, my sitting practice, though I did it once a day, was almost every day for 1 year and 7-8 months, without missing).
It feels right there are some good overall changes, and I will not “stop” practice .
If I need to practice then I would! And if there needs to be another period of 1-2 years of practices, there will be I’m trusting what is happening!
Hi Aumnaturel,
Yes and not only does a practitioner’s approach to AYP impact their path, so do all the other practices taken on in addition to the core AYP practices. This would include inquiry and other daily practices that are additive. This mixed with our unique individual “matrix of obstructions”, as you point out, makes for some interesting outcomes no doubt.
Hi Yonatan,
Sounds like you have a good handle on self-pacing, it has not come so easy for me.
A little follow-up:
It has been 3 and a half months so far with no formal sitting practices. Meditation has been attempted on a couple of occasions to see if there has been any change to the sensitivity, so far it still leads to overload quickly.
Having recently been at my second Ontario retreat over the same time frame, it has been interesting to still have a wonderfully expanding experience despite not really engaging in practices.
My routine at the retreat has been to perhaps engage in a minute or two of either the alternate nostril breathing and/or the meditation, then to simply sit with eyes downcast as the others practice. The result, due to the power of the group meditation, has been to still experience deep absorption, despite not engaging in the practices.
There has been a lot of opening over the last few months. Despite not formally doing any sitting practicing, the inner landscape continues to change and reveal itself and the quality of life continues to improve.
Hi Anthem,
Your approach to practices at the retreat is very, very understandable from where I sit. Although I am still doing my AYPs daily solo, when I sit with others (who are not into AYP), which is at least twice a week, I do pretty much was you describe.
On another note, I was recalling your description of “malaise” and recently, I felt it, or a version of it. It was kind of an “ugh” feeling in my core when I awoke one morning after a lot of inner pleasure the night before. It has not been persistent, but I am glad I felt it, partly because I wanted to have empathy for what you are experiencing.
Peace
Some quick feedback from here also 
I’ve been still trying: Resting for a week, then one week of spinal breathing alone… But that have lead to a few overloading symptoms in the end… So I gave it a rest… Until yesterday, I tried five minutes of DM morning and evening… The sittings were really deep, but overloading again with some pretty violent dreams. I’d love to practice and meditate but apparently the price is high… So no more practices for me, at least for now… Anyways as what is happening with you brother Anthem, opening is happening naturally inside without practices…
Peace
I recently gave up my DM practice because of difficulties I was having, although this was after only three months of 10 min twice daily. I was feeling weighed down, was over sensitive, especially to noise, had intermittent irritability, and was feeling desperate at times.
I actually was thinking of creating a thread to see if there were any ex-oversensitive meditators, or people you were having to self-pace a lot, but eventually were able to do the full time amounts, and it’s interesting that the opposite seems to be happening.
I may pick up the practice again, making sure not to let the negative symptoms reach that degree again.
Part of my downfall may have been due to not doing a good job of conserving the ojas. I wonder if this is a primary reason other men are having to cut down (not making any judgments).
My big question is: what would happen if a person went ahead despite persistent suffering? Would there eventually be a big breakthrough? I can’t imagine that the negative symptoms could go on forever.
Hi Ananda,
Maybe we should start a club then!?! 
It’s been 5 months now, no change here, still no practicing “allowed” either. Learning continues forever onwards.
Hi Nathan,
Have you tried breath meditation or mindfulness meditation as an alternative, if DM isn’t working for you?
What do you men by “ojas”?
In regards to your big question, I personally wouldn’t be looking for any big breakthrough and certainly not by enduring any suffering from practices. Suffering from practices speaks to me of imbalance. Too much of a good thing is still too much.
This video I recently saw comes to mind:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29atSZKbmS4&feature=player_embedded
Hi Nathan,
As Yogani says, “Suffering/Pain is not a pre-requisite for enlightenment”.
The whole concept of self-pacing is that. Adjust your practices so that you continue with no pain and continue making progress. We dont need to continue in suffering. Enlightenment doesn’t ask us to do that
- Near
Anthem,
Ojas is part of the Nectar cycle. Ojas seems to effect the brain by supporting higher thinking or insights. It actually feels like a “higher” gear. A few times, I have been convinced that a drop of it has come out of the top of my head and rolled down my hair.
A random question about your not being able to practice… Do you still feel anger?
Thanks, Jeff
Hi Anthem,
In the past when I tried breath meditation I would start to think that I was subtly controlling the breath, and would then get fixated on trying not to control the breath, which just makes things worse. Although, I was locating the breath as per instruction (not the instructions here) either in the belly or nostrils; so maybe if I didn’t zero in on those locations that problem might not be as bad. My reasoning has also been that if I can’t do DM comfortably, I may as well do my attention on Ajna practice, as I can do as much of that as I want, it brings some positive results, and I can do spinal breathing also, which I can’t with DM. I was doing a combined practice for a while, where I would look upwards and focus at the point between the eybrows, and at the same time there would be an awareness of the breath repeating “hong sau” or another mantra or word. Since the sole focus wasn’t on the breath, the concern didn’t arise as to whether I was controlling it or not…but anyway, maybe I’ll give just breath awareness a try as my sitting practice.
By ojas I was referring to sexual expenditure of the pranic reserve, which I guess isn’t necessarily ojas until it gets converted.
Whether or not suffering can lead to a breakthough, I certainly haven’t been able or willing to stay with it for very long. That was a nice video and I see the point you are making that if one is too focused on the goal, and suffering the whole time trying to get there, then they’ll miss out on enjoying the ride.
Hi Near,
I hope that quote is true.
I was doing okay for a while (probably on the edge even then) and wanted to add even more time, so I was kind of unwilling to decrease time, which got me into trouble. It seems counter-logical that less time can be better, but I guess I’ll have to accept that that might be the way to go.
Hi Nathan,
Here you go, I found the lesson where Yogani said that. Now you know I didnt make it up
http://www.aypsite.org/168.html
- Near
Anthem,
Ojas is part of the Nectar cycle. Ojas seems to effect the brain by supporting higher thinking or insights. It actually feels like a “higher” gear. A few times, I have been convinced that a drop of it has come out of the top of my head and rolled down my hair.
A random question about your not being able to practice… Do you still feel anger?
Thanks, Jeff
Thanks for that definition Jeff. :slight_smile: Yes anger and every emotion. Sort of essential for living from my perspective. How else would I know when I am being "taken advantage" of etc.? :wink: Emotions help us to know our preferences and navigate the world. To elaborate, I don't know about the paths of everyone else here, but mine involved accepting or surrendering to all emotions and the messages/ information that they carry. All emotions are welcomed friends here that help keep my actions in balance. If anger or any other emotion arises, it is not me/ not what I am, and I can put the label of anger on it or not. Its just energy arising. So the information is there and it facilitates learning which is ongoing. I think it is a myth that emotional reactions like anger, fear etc should ever go away completely. They may arise on top of a sea of well-being, and will no longer dictate action or make sense to label, but the energy and information that they carry is a guiding force for balanced living in my opinion. Thanks for asking. :slight_smile: All the best!
Hi Nathan,
Thanks for clarifying what you meant by ojas.
I would say if anything, not preserving sexual energy would help make it easier to self-pace rather than harder. Preserving sexual energy certainly has an additive effect on inner energy levels in my experience.
I guess the bottom line about practice is sticking to one thing that works for you. I simply suggested breath only meditation (no mantra or localization of the breath) as a lighter alternative than DM. Whatever works best for you.
Wishing you all the best on your path!
Anthem & Ananda,
I now truly understand what you mean. I was able to spend Friday with the AYP retreat. In the second session, I was incapable of spinal breathing. No energy flow allowed. I was full. I spent some time tracing it and then went on to DM. DM was fine, unless I gave any “intent energy” to the mantra. If I did, back to the wall…
Inner silence seems to be capacity. Energy is potential. The retreat taught me that I have more energy than silence. It may be helpful to see if you might be putting intent or some energy in your DM.
Enjoy the day…
Hi Anthem,
Few Questions:
- What about emotions like Jealousy/Greed? Do they arise still?
- What in you changes after enlightenment? Does anything in you change at all or will you be as is but accept yourself and others completely as is?
- What doesnt change? Especially things like conditioning (being introvert etc…)
- Does one see an increase in perceptual abilities like say reading speed etc…
- When they say that the world disappears upon awakening, is it in a literal sense? Do others exist only in my imagination?
- Does being morally correct have any value/karmic effect? For a seeker, if they do something morally incorrect, does it then take them longer to reach enlightenment?
- When we do what we do because we are conditioned so; how does anything we do (including spiritual practices) matter? We give our conditioned responses to others’ conditioned actions, so isnt it all laid out/pre-planned? What do you believe more; free will or destiny?
- Near
Hi Near,
I can’t speak about post enlightenment as it doesn’t apply to me. I have lots to learn in life and will always be undergoing a process of becoming more aware and more balanced in action through form.
Awareness is in a continual process of deepening here and I imagine will always be for all of us. I see terms such as enlightenment as serving only to create separation in our minds and painting ourselves into a corner of limitation. I really don’t think there is any such thing as becoming enlightened, there is only continuous change. A person may feel like they have become enlightened with a sudden jump in awareness, but one thing I am certain of is that this will never be the end. Life is constant learning, an expanding and deepening of perception.
The term enlightenment creates a false picture in the mind and no living person will ever be this imagined picture.
We all have an equal amount to offer each other, we are all equals with the same thoughts and challenges in being fully human.
Thanks for your views anthem. They are always insightful.
Hi all,
I would like to note that something have changed during the last 23 weeks or so. I can sit and practice meditation and spinal breathing now like before but with much better results. I think that the main reason behind this is that i’ve started lifting weights 3 weeks back and the results are really good to my sadhana. I am not overdoing the whole weight lifting business, just some gentle light weight lifting during the day and night time after practices.
Light weights for an increased number of cycles really helps in grounding. Plus you consume more food than usual which is also self pacing .
Love,
Ananda
I had to stop practices for a while too, for about 2 month now. Things got a bit too much on the energetic side.
I probably underestimated the impact of the practices when living a pretty quiet live. Might need a bit more activity. I always had the tendency to be in stillness alone, this might have accelerated things a bit. 