Time is short and that is part of the problem Katrine. And you don’t have a big mouth I’m sure 
…Time is short so my family is constantly pressuring me to “come back to Christ” and that is why these discussions happen. I am tolerant of their beliefs to an extent, but when they start infringing on me then I have issue with it. I’m tired of constantly being “witnessed” to. My grandfather recently told me I was going to go to hell for preaching heresy/blasphemy (can’t remember the exact word he used) to the homeless and addicts. He personally goes to a prison weekly to spread “God’s word”. I want to let it go, but it keeps coming back for more.
Love,
Carson 
Carson,
Perhaps not just hermeneutical issues are working here, but unresolved control issues within the family.
When Jesus predicted that he would fracture families, he knew all about “true believers.”
You might consider expressing happiness that your father and other orthodox Christians in the family have been successful in proving out what works for them in their own lives.
The approach may prompt them to think again about their own situations. They may question whether they have in fact “arrived” at satisfactory spiritual solutions to their own lives. And they may be brought around, most likely for the first time ever, to curiosity about what seems to be working for you.
Evangelizing for yoga, however you go about it, need not follow their style with its emphasis on doctrine and text proofing.
A patient man is a strong man. Belief in reincarnation could make you a more patient man. If you have seen a path to truth in this life, then in this life or later in another they will too.
This means you can afford to just wait things out with a clear conscience. Also, you have no responsibility for saving anyone. You offer your experience in love free of demand or expectations of them.
Avoiding persuasive efforts entirely while enjoying life confidently may constitute an effective sales pitch.
newpov
Hi Brian,
Thank you for your kind message and thoughtful suggestions. My biggest problem is that I am constantly assaulted by my family now that I am showing signs of spiritual progression (especially now that I am clean off methadone) to become a Christian (by their definition) again. How can I convince them that I am as Christian as they are if not more? I’m not trying to convert them to yoga, I’m trying to get them to understand I’m just as well off with yoga as with their version of Christianity.
Love,
Carson
Carson,
So they see you as the stray, eh?
Why are you trying so hard to adjust their opinion of you?
Why is it important for you to establish that your credential of membership in their herd remains in good standing?
Why are you trying to get them to “understand” anything?
Perhaps you are experiencing an unconscious conflict that is normal to everyone situating himself in a new marriage.
You want to separate from old ways of relating to your family that may have been appropriate in your earlier years, yet perhaps you still crave validation or acceptance. Perhaps that is why you are hanging on to this issue?
newpov
PS:
Bible.com provides a number of translations, plus a search engine.
Hi Carson:
We can be tolerant of a noisy neighbor, but if they knock our door down and try to overrun us, we must throw them out … at least until they develop better manners.
The rose is lovely, but it also has thorns. 
The guru is in you.
Hi Brian,
Yes for sure. I grew up very Christian…I was a hockey player as a child, and did not play on Sunday’s because I went to church instead, did youth group on Friday’s and Bible study on Wednesdays, the full meal deal. I bought into it hook line and sinker. I was “witnessing” to my friends at school which caused me some severe social trauma and was creating issues with teachers over secular teachings. But around the age of 12 I started smoking weed and seeing things in a new light. The next 3 years were total hell on my family as I tested every belief they (and I) held dear. By the age of 15 I was no longer able to stand living there and got a job and moved out. I eventually got a travelling job and finished my high school by corrospondence. I did not have any communication with my family until about the age of 22.(and by that time I was already hooked on heroin and other things) So I guess that is the long way of me saying, yes…I’m the stray of the family to say the least. Black sheep is more accurate I think.
I wasn’t and am not trying to adjust their opinions of me, and there is no way I will be looked upon in “good standing” unless I convert so I’m not trying to do that either. The reason this conversation came up was because my father told me that he thought I sounded like a “vessel with the lid blown off” and that he believed what I was experiencing was the indwelling of the Holy Spirit just like in Acts Chapter 2 on the day of Pentecost. I replied with a ramble something like …“Now you got it. A vessel in which the lid has just blown off. This is not news to me though. Christians call it the Holy Spirit, Japanese Zen call it “Ki”, Chinese Buddhists call it “chi”, the Balinese call it “Tasku”, the Kalahari call it “n/um”, (their Holy men describe it as a snakelike power that ascends the spine and blows a hole in the head through which the Gods then enter) Islamic Sufi’s call it “The Beloved”, and the one I best know it as, is from the Hindu’s/Yogi’s and that is called “kundalini shakti”. I hope you are starting to see the similarities between all religions…They are all just different cultural perspectives on the same concepts…”
This is what sparked the arguement and consequent “battle to save my soul” as they might call it. And I’m not “hanging on so…”. This is my FAMILY…and not just my immediate family…my whole extended family which is quite extensive…(AND my wife’s family too I guess as they are Mormon, but they are easy for me to out argue so that’s not a big issue.) and for the first time since I was 15 do I have even a slight desire to communicate in depth with them. Should I really deny myself or perhaps even the divine desire within, the opportunity for connection? I would love to come to a common understanding about yoga with my family so that there can be peace once again. For a few years while I was on the methadone program and just “floating” things were fine. They didn’t press me and I didn’t press them. But NOW, I’m off drugs, following a completely spiritual trajectory with my entire life and it’s like I’m drawing them to me like a magnet. They see this as an opportunity from Jesus to “save” me again. It’s like it’s their mission. Not the other way around. I’m not trying to save them. I just want peace. I don’t even live within 150km of my family and I can’t find any peace because of the constant harrassment. Which brings me to…Yogani…
I wish it was that simple. What am I going to do? Call the cops and say “My family is insistantly trying to convert me, make them stop?” I can stop replying to emails and stop answering their phone calls, but isn’t that petty and immature? It won’t stop the emails or phone calls from coming I assure you. It may in fact intensify it some I don’t know. They may start coming to my HOUSE to bother me and that is the LAST thing I want . I hope you understand that I am not hopeless over this or anything, I’m more just venting 
I guess. I know I need to just let go of this as well, but with family it’s harder. Especially with the history I have with them. I want peace with them again. And with my projected life trajectory that doesn’t seem likely any time soon. Sorry for ranting, really I am.
Love,
Carson
Hi Carson:
It always comes back to our own path and our practice. The more steady we become in that, the less others will be able to intrude. And they will know it by our demeanor.
We attract what we get, and the more in abiding stillness we become, the less adversity we will attract, or notice. That is when karma becomes our friend, for all karma is used by stillness in action for an evolutionary outcome. With the family interactions, you are in the early stages of it now. Your urgency and approach will gradually change as you continue forward in being true to yourself. You will know what to do…
Carry on!
The guru is in you.
Hi Yogani,
Do you know this for sure? Cause it seems the exact opposite in my situation. The more silence I find I have, the more my family see’s this as their opportunity to convert me. Not the more silence I have the more they leave me alone. The more silence I have, the easier it is to deal with them, but on the other side of that coin is the fact that the more silence I have the more I want to share it or have my family be at peace with my spiritual decisions. I know that the dynamic of this situation will change over time, but I want it to change for the better. I don’t want to be the “outcast” uncle/son/brother that is no longer allowed around the family because I am looked upon as evil for following “another” religion. It seems as though nothing short of complete segregation will solve this issue, and to me that isn’t a solution it’s running away.
Love,
Carson
Hi Carson,
Sounds like you’ve got your hands full with your family there. I am sure they just want to help you though, and who knows… maybe they will.
This is much harder than you might think… and it goes WAY deep.
You see the Greek word that is being translated here as “The kingdom of God and his righteousness” is Basileia. And that in turn is a translation of the Hebrew “Malkut shamayim” which is a translation of the Aramaic “Malkut hach”.
Now Malkut is a really difficult word to translate into any language. It means the kingdom, and also the activity, or sovereignty of a King (in this case God). For most of us humans, the only place that the kingdom of God can be known, is deep within our own hearts. So the translation “kingdom of heaven within” for Malkut shamayim is as good as any.
Here comes the deep part…
Malkut is also said to be this world (the material dimension). But it is only this world to the extent that this world is a reflection of the light of the world of heaven (sekinath in malkut). And the degree to which this world is a reflection of the light of the world of heaven depends on the level of the purity of our hearts.
In other words, as we purify ourselves through spiritual practices, first of all we come to know the kingdom of heaven within (malkut), and then, the light of heaven shines through our hearts and transforms the light of this world into the kingdom of heaven on earth. That is what Jesus was talking about with all that Kingdom of heaven on earth stuff, and is the true meaning of his teachings and mission on earth.
Through purifying our hearts, through spiritual practice, we set aside our own will, and become pure channels for the will of God, which is His reign and sovereignty (Malkut) in the new kingdom of divine glory. When that happens, we will see our true selves shining as ecstatic consciousness in all of divine creation, so the Kingdom of God will still be within us, shining through our hearts.
If you read the main lessons on this website carefully, this is in fact, all there.
I don’t think you should argue with your family about these matters. It isn’t going to get you very far, or them. Just tell them that you don’t want to talk about Christianity, and I’m sure they will respect that.
Christi
Hi Carson:
Your main risk in all of this is bending back to the will of others, which is how you got spun off in the first place. Ironically, it is the rigidity of your family on spiritual matters that led you to the path you are on now, traveling by a difficult route to be sure. But here you are. If you put their will over your path, you could land back in the soup. I don’t think that will happen at this late stage, but thought to mention it anyway.
Your youth as described reminds me of a troubling documentary called “Jesus Camp,” which is about extremist fundamentalist Christians deliberately brainwashing their children. Most rational people see it as child abuse, but the perpetrators see it as God’s will.
I agree with Christi that discussing religion with your family probably has more downside in it than upside. Just live!
Wow Christi. What a beautiful post on Christian roots. Thanks! 
The guru is in you.
Hi Christi,
I learned yesterday all about Basiliea and the Malkut Shamayim and know now from personal experience how hard it is to translate Latin to English or Hebrew to English and the difficulties there within as I did the translations myself yesterday. And I understand where the interpretation could lead towards thinking that the kingdom of heaven is within and I know that many people, some Christians included have no issues with this. But my family and their sect of Christianity see duality as the ultimate reality. Not only are we NOT capable of union with God, but the only way to even experience a “piece” of God is to surrender to the fact that we aren’t capable of said union and one must take Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior in order to find the kingdom of God “without”. If that makes any sense. They believe that my “spiritual practices” are demon worship and that I must be saved at all costs. To them I am worse off now then when I was on drugs. And I am NOT trying to argue with them in any way, I am just trying at this point to stave off the attacks and stand up for myself. It’s actually a bit of a pickle.
Yogani,
There is no chance of me bending to their will and landing back in the “soup”. I am happy to be on this journey and would give it up for no one including my family. I just thought that maybe there could be some compromise between my reality and their’s but it seems there is not. I have seen the documentary “Jesus Camp” and even tried to make my family watch it with me last year. No chance. They would have nothing past 5minutes into the film. They considered it hate propoganda. I will try to just live, but I fear them pounding down my door if I choose to ignore this issue.
Love,
Carson
Hi Carson
Why are you trying to convince them of anything?
They have their language for what they do and so do you. You are in a good position now to cross-reference the two sides of the debate.
There is just as much Truth in Christainity as in any other path, the fact that you have found a different interpretation of the journey to truth does not mean that your father’s experience is any less valid than yours. It is arrogance to think otherwise.
So if you what to communicate then learn to fit the language of yoga into their language, it’s no big deal, but you are making it a big deal because you want him to see things your way - this is a mistake, in my view.
Why not learn to “wonder” at your father’s experiences, with him, and marvel at his revelations. If he finds so much joy and meaning from his religion, this is cause to celebrate, not to try and change him.
He is surrendering to the Kingdom of God and so are you, just by a different name - surrender is surrender.
So talk their language and agree with them and laugh with them. After all you are not doing it on your own, when we surrender we surrender our control and this is what your father is saying, only in his language.
that’s my take on it anyway, maybe it’s not that simple
Hi Louis,
Not sure if you read much of what is posted by me in this thread. Nowhere have I indicated that I am trying to convice my family of anything. In fact I JUST stated above that the only thing I am trying to do is stave off their attacks and stand up for myself and what I believe. I know that there is plenty of value to Christianity and in fact my ishta has morphed into Jesus from simply being “god” before. I think you misunderstand the fact that I am not instigating these conversations, and am only participating in them because I am getting 3-6 emails a day, not to mention several phone calls and more per day, on this topic matter. And as I have said above, the only reason I am not completely ignoring all contact from them now is because I feel that is running away, and because I fear that refusing to communicate with them will cause them to get even more aggressive and have them be pounding down my door so that I can’t avoid them any longer.
Love,
Carson
Carson,
They (the entire extended family?) are crowding you inappropriately. How can you tolerate this situation and still develop a viable marriage?
Their control issues, including anger which is characteristic of socially programmed deeply religious idealogues, are nothing you can do anything about.
There are only three options available to you in any relationship, yes? Live with things as they are for a bit longer, or attempt to modify the situation to suit your needs and desires, or head for an exit and otherwise cut your losses.
You must insist on space and reject their crowding, and do whatever it takes to make your position stick. Otherwise they will start managing your marriage too, for all we know.
It is time to set boundaries. It is also time to revise their long held conception of you as The Sick One. You require neither their supervision nor their salvation. It is a still voice within that you would honor.
Why not write a letter to everyone in the family, laying out your needs and desires? Set limits as to the kinds of behaviors and communications that you will tolerate, accept and receive, from this time forward.
If you wish, email me privately on this mess, perhaps I can assist in working up a draft.
newpov
Hi Brian.
Yeah I know what they are doing is wrong or inappropriate at least. And yes it is my entire extended family, other then my 1 Grandfather who had a stint with TM in the 70’s and has an extensive spiritual background but still considers himself a Christian. He is the only one I can relate or talk to openly now. Actually the first time I read Siddhartha was because my Grandpa gave me his copy of the book. This was when I was about 13 or so. I understand what my options are here, and I was truly hoping that the modification of the situation would be the viable option, but it seems full out cutting my losses may be the only refuge. I doubt they will start trying to infringe on my marriage at least until I convert (which will never happen) but you never know. I understand that I need to set boundaries, and I have tried, but they refuse to respect these boundaries because they see the importance of “saving my soul” as far outwieghing any objections I may have. I have sent them messages saying that all I desire here is some personal space to live how I see fit, and for there to be some peace amongst us when we are together. This has been blatantly ignored up to this point. I fear I may have to give them an ultimatum, but I am also afraid that that may push them over the edge to the point of literally pounding down my door and dragging me kicking and screaming to a church or minister they deem appropriate. They pretty much see me as demon possessed and won’t leave it alone. They consider me of “Eastern religous” persuation and believe that meditation left my mind open to demonic attacks and even have gone so far as to suggest that I am demon possessed. Outright lunacy in my opinion.
Love,
Carson
Carson,
No longer the victim, you would be perceived as admiringly proactive if you were to write one general letter which you xerox and mail to the entire family.
It would force them to confer with one another about accommodating to an agenda that you are setting. By making the same presentation to everyone, you will be better able to sort out, quite fairly and quite soon, who is with you from those who will never be with you, no matter what you do or say.
Perhaps you might suggest to one and all that Grandpa has always been great in how he relates to you as you have found your own way and have arrived at your present position in life, and that you hope others might take his approach in the future. Then you can hope they will turn to Grandpa and he can run some interference for you.
You lose nothing by going on record with a thoughtfully considered Adult Male statement of your own position, needs, and mature desires. Then if they still don’t shape up after a time of implied probation, you get to walk away with a clear conscience and no loss of dignity.
Maybe standing up to your own family will also be doing a service to your wife as she struggles to relate to her Mormon family in possibly a new way. Deprogramming yourselves emotionally can’t be easy!
If this family of origin is determined to treat you poisonously, it is nurturing for you and your wife to seek another “family” to adopt or build up and relate to. They are not the only game in town.
You have already started outreach and building a larger family, to your credit. Service to others troubled by drugs. Service to spiritual strays like me. Service to children, whether yours or those who will benefit from your adoption.
As you get older, outreach for new and more healthy connections becomes increasingly important. You’re never home-free with existing relationships. They require continual maintenance, and even then, relatives start dying off on you…
newpov
Hi CarsonZi,
I really like what Sparkle said.
When I’m with my sister I’m Zen Buddhist.
When I’m with my brother in-law I’m catholic.
When I’m with my wife’s family I’m methodist.
When were all together … I tell them I’m into Scientology … working on THETAN LEVEL 108 and everyone leaves me alone.
Carson!
Sorry to hear you have to put up with all this.
On the question of arguing with them, their world-view contains a lot of delusion, and delusion can’t always be argued against. I’m familiar with that problem. Even if you do even succeed in showing them gaping holes in their logic, they’ll probably see your logic as a sort of tool of satan.
Cause it seems the exact opposite in my situation. The more silence I find I have, the more my family see’s this as their opportunity to convert me. Not the more silence I have the more they leave me alone.
I believe you. And there is a very good reason why this is so.
If you were treated by Dr. Fundie for twenty years for a sickness that kept getting worse, then you went to Dr. Yoga and you started to get healthy straight away, what does that say about Dr. Fundie? Your recovery under Dr. Yoga, from an addiction that Dr. Fundie couldn’t cure is a deep threat to their world-view. The healthier, and more balanced you become, the more disturbing they may find the situation. Things just won’t be adding up the way they want them to add up.
Idealogues clutch their idols. They don’t have the confidence to let them go. They are low in faith, in the valuable sense of the term. They are hanging on for dear life, and your very health is shaking the foundation and challenging their grip. And they will do what people do when their idols are threatened. They try to eliminate the threat.
This threat to their grip on their idol is not your problem. Your only problem is getting on with your family. And I understand and believe you that this is now difficult. I have no ‘magic bullet’ for an answer.
But I can suggest an approach that comes to mind. If someone in my family thought I was going to hell, having failed to reason with them, I might say something like, ‘OK, I don’t believe you that I’m going to hell, but I believe that you believe it. But I’m not going to stop doing what you think will get me to hell. So, let’s assume I’m going to hell. Well, that isn’t your problem is it? Just get used to it.’
Be calm and happy and joyful in the face of their belief that you’re going to hell. It isn’t easy, but it can be done.
David’s post reminded me of NVC.
Have you read up/tried out Non Violent communication?
You can read up on it here in emc’s wonderful topic on Power of Words - On communication
A lot will change as you continue on your path… actually nothing changes… and yet everything changes.
Hi Brian,
Thank you again for your support and suggestions.
Writing a single note and letting the whole family know what I am willing to accept in the way of communications is a definite potential and I will likely try it out. My worry with this is…I already know that the whole family has gotten together at least once to determine how best to approach me about this, so this is already an organized effort on their part. That may be good, as it will be easy to circulate the letter, but it may be bad as it just may cause them to change their approach/strategy for the more aggressive as they may see this as the “devil” taking stronger hold and their opportunity to save me slipping away. The only way to know is to try and I will. About my Grandpa, unfortunately everyone already dismisses him as a senile old drunk and his treatment of me and my beliefs won’t sway anyones opinions I’m afraid. And my Grandpa and I have a shaky history as well, it turning for the better only semi recently. My wife is well deprogrammed from the Mormon religion, as is a few of her siblings, so the pressure there isn’t too bad yet. The pressure will increase when we have children but I have already devised a plan for when that occurs. hehe 
Yes you are right that I need a more supportive “family” but I am still struggling to find it here in my city. My weekly meditation group is still at three people, despite the fact that at least 7 tell me every week they will be there, but I hope to find a more supportive family atmosphere at my new job. Thanks again for your input and advice.
Hi Machart,
Thanks for the advice and I see what you and Louis are saying, but the Chameleon act isn’t me. And my family is adept enough at picking every action apart that if I did that they would rip me apart for being “wishy washy”. i couldn’t handle pretending to be an Evangelical Christian either…just the thought of faking that makes me feel ill in the stomach. Gotta be a better way.
Hi David,
Thank you for your input as well. I agree totally with what you have said, and you seem to have a keen eye for my situation. You describe my predicament with scalpel like precision. Along with Brian’s letter writing suggestion I believe I will try yours as well. But again I don’t know how far it will get me. This may appease them or it may infuriate them and make this worse. The only way to know is to try, and I will. Thank you.
Hi Shanti,
Thank you for the links, and yes I am well familiar with Non-Violent-Communication. In fact I believe we had this conversation on a different thread already. But regardless, if my family breaks down my door and physically drags me to an exorcist, no NVC is gonna help me. I NEED to set boundaries somehow that they will respect. But I just dont see that happening as every boundary I set, they see as Satan’s attempt to keep my soul from Jesus and push that much harder. We’ll see. Only time will tell how far this will escalate.
Thank you everyone for your continued support and advice…I am truly thankful.
Love,
Carson