Hello,
Does anyone know of a practice for attracting a Tantric lover/soulmate? Or maybe an existing AYP practice that has this side-effect?
Let me make it clear that I’m not looking to “get some” or have sex with lots of women. And I know the AYP and Tantric practices are more than sufficient in themselves, and I’ve had great progress with them. I just strongly feel that a deep part of me is going unexpressed by my being alone. And of course having someone to share a spiritual path with would be awesome.
Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Dear cosmic troll,
Thanks for giving me a laugh with this posting in the middle of the working day. It would be great to find a practice to attract whatever you want be it a tantric lover or simply someone who won’t bore/annoy you after a few months. In case I find one promise to post it in the forum :).
Hi Troll - I think you ask a very good question, and I doubt there’s anyone out there who hasn’t wondered the same. It’s hard enough to meet people at all, much less a soulmate. I don’t have any answers, but there are a gazillion books that do, or at least claim to. The premise of finding one’s soulmate is based upon the presumption that we are somehow incomplete, and that in finding the Other, we find that missing part of ourselves. It sets up an unfortunate dynamic, in which we’re constantly longing to be ‘filled’ or ‘completed’ from a source outside of ourselves. The truth is that we already possess the missing piece, and the work is to discover it within ourselves.
You might try sitting in a crowded cafe while reading a book on ‘Finding a Tantric Lover’. The book might not help you much, but you might attract some attention. 
Well said Meg. We always seem to look elsewhere to find something to complete or fill our lives, but what we really need, is right here with us, all the time.
I agree with shanti 100%
mystiq
I agree with you guys meg, shanti and mystiq that what we are looking to find is within us. But the important question is how long would it take to find that within ourselves compared to finding it outside. The entire world might be within us, but until we feel it that information is of no use to us. We cant wait till enlightenment to find a soul partner (within ourselves).
Coming to the actual topic of the thread, I think as people progress spiritually they will also develop that personal magnetism or charishma automatically.
Genes are a result of karma RATHER THAN A CAUSE OF IT - Yogani
I think that Near hit the nail on the head. It certainly happened for me. Just doing my yoga and working on myself and being an expression of who I am inside has definitely increased a magnetism that seems to attract. That combined with losing the neediness that comes from feeling incomplete without a partner has made drawing potential partners to be a fun rather than frustrating experience.
Thanks for the thoughtful responses, everyone. Meg, I agree that looking outside ourselves just sets us up for disappointment. It’s occurred to me recently that maybe our inner male/female energies being imbalanced causes us to search for fulfillment in the world. AYP claims to balance these energies (I trust Yogani on this – it’s “under the hood” for me). This book idea of yours sounds like a close 2nd, though 
Near, I appreciate your sentiment here. Most of us have probably heard (and know) all the wisdom we’ll ever need in life, but until we feel and experience that, it’s just useless information. That’s why AYP is so great… we can feel some positive results without having to rely too much on knowledge/belief/etc.
This is very encouraging…
“That combined with losing the neediness that comes from feeling incomplete without a partner has made drawing potential partners to be a fun rather than frustrating experience.”
Yes, being complete and enough in yourself is a very attractive trait in a man. Unfortunately - according to my experience and what I have seen happen to others as well, but I am not sure if all of you would agree - a woman often wants to “destroy” the traits that attracted her and create the kind of incompleteness/neediness that would have put her off before. Some see that as the woman is testing the man, but I think we all have a strong drive to feel needed and that drive can take mysterious expressions sometimes. “There are no faithful men, only repressed men.” To me the ultimate partner is someone who wants you to grow as a person and leave you better off than when you met, and who is thankful for each day together without having preconceived ideas or an agenda.
I remembered a potentially relevant book I read last year. It is called ‘Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire’ by D. Chopra. He claims that if you write out your wishes on a sheet of paper and read them before meditation (in this case 20 minutes of So-Ham twice a day) plus read some sentences from the book your wishes will come true. So maybe you can test it with the tantric lover/soulmate and tell us if it is true
>> plus read some sentences from the book your wishes will come true
No doubt, if you believe this, you will be interested in buying the book and will spontaneously help in fulfilling some of Chopra’s desires.
Chopra. Sigh.
hihi this was so funny 
. actually i bought it before i knew what is inside but i guess you are right. anyway yogani said that any reason/lie is good as long as it gets people to meditate.
Lili said:
anyway yogani said that any reason/lie is good as long as it gets people to meditate
Hi Lili,
did Yogani actually say that? I strongly suspect that you have taken him out of context or something. Do you have the actual text where he said it?
Thanks,
-D
No I summarized it perhaps incorrectly. I can’t remember the actual text. It was something like there was a guy who promised his students enlightenment within 5 years and for this guy he said that any reason is good enough as long as it makes ppl do meditation.
I think the best way to attract a partner is to put yourself “out there” as often as possible, and talk to as many people as possible.
as Victor says it is absolutely necessary to get rid of the needy feeling because women smell that a mile away.
But if you take a class or some other group activity, and learn to forget about finding someone and practice AYP it will help greatly. At the activity, talk to as many people as you can and show an interest in them, both male and female. Find out what they like to do and how they view the world. This in combination with losing the neediness will attract a mate.
Go on casual dates with people you’re not interested in sexually. This trains you so you’ll be ready when you find one.
Oh, and of course for a man who practices AYP and wants to meet a like minded woman I would strongly suggest going to a number of Yoga classes on a regular basis. While I am not suggesting using yoga class as a “pickup” situation it is certainly observed that there are generally twice as many women in most yoga classes as there are men and the likelihood that a woman who attends a yoga class would be inclined towards meditation and tantra is certainly likely to be higher than in the case of the general public. Take some yoga classes, make friends with other students and keep doing your AYP practices and you may actually find that the problem is not finding a woman but selecting which one you want to share your time with!
as Victor says it is absolutely necessary to get rid of the needy feeling because women smell that a mile away.
Indeed. If you have a cute needy puppy on the end of a leash, that is a fantastic way to get female attention. If the needy puppy is at both ends of the leash, it won’t work.
So: Best thing for a man is to walk the cutest puppy you can imagine into an outdoor female-dominant yoga-related gathering, at only one end of the leash, and give no clue as to why you are doing it.
That’s a myth, you know. When a women goes to pat a puppy, she’s adoring the dog, not the guy. I’ve patted many a pup with no intention of hitting on what’s on the other end of the leash. 
Now Meg, that may be true…but the toughest part is breaking the ice. Thats teh puppies job, the rest is up to the animal on the other end of the leash
I see. Wow - is it really that hard to meet us??? Seems so easy to me. I’ll tell you what we women like, how’s that? (most of us, anyway!) A guy who’s totally honest and forward and not into any games whatsoever. Instant turn-on. Which takes a certain amount of chutzpah, which isn’t easy to find. Puppies are okay, and sure to get attention, but you’re best to be up front about why you’re dragging one along.