I started AYP around 2007 if I recall correctly. This was after a couple of years of practicing some qigong exercises similar to spinal breathing (I credit my ability to recognize the value of AYP to having previously been taught something like spinal breathing), so overall I have been doing spiritual practices for nearly twenty years, though there have been years when I was more consistent and years where I was less consistent. I would guess that there have been at least 15 years of twice-daily AYP practices, cumulatively, along with a few periods of more intense practiceâe.g., thrice-daily AYP practices.
My âminimumâ daily AYP practice consists of about 10 minutes of spinal breathing, 20 minutes DM, 7 minutes samyama, and 3 minutes of rest, twice a day. This past summer, when I had more free time, I did about 10 minutes of asana, 10 minutes SBP, 5-10 minutes other pranayama (bastrika, yoni mudra, etc.), 20 minutes DM, 10 minutes samyama, 5ish minutes cosmic samyama 3 times a day (twice in the morning, and once in the evening). I definitely did see more progress then, albeit still quite gradual.
I am now 44 years old, so my life is probably at least half over, and my âvigorousâ years may already be dwindlingâthat is, I might only have another 10-20 years (or less, should something like cancer strike) of relatively high energy to practice such things.
In all these years of practices, I have definitely made some progress. There is a lot more inner silence and equanimity. I feel very ecstatic at times, though far from 24-7. My awareness feels subtler, and I feel a bit more empathetic/concerned about the good of all relative to the good of myself. I do have some level of pratyaharaâI can feel the inside of the head in a way I could not, and, to a lesser extent, the digestive system, which feels like it holds air in a slightly different way, suggestive of the production of soma Yogani has described. Occasionally I feel a minty sensation in the digestive tract, but only occasionally. I donât think Iâve really experienced the production of amrita, and while Iâve seen what seems like some sparkles during meditation on occasions when I enter a kind of half-awake-half-asleep state, I would still say I have trouble perceiving or visualizing the sushumna, have not seen âthe star,â etc. much less any spiritual beings, angels, etc.
When I read e.g., Tristanâs book and posts, or some of the posts Yogani responds to, it seems as if some people are experiencing many of these things such as amrita or seeing the star after only a few years of practice (I know Tristan had many years of fairly intense practice before even beginning AYP, so I am not necessarily referring to him specifically). I have seen amrita described as an âintermediateâ experience, whereas e.g., âwitnessing sleepâ or perhaps, non-dual consciousness are more advanced experiences.
I guess this makes me feel a bit frustrated or impatient, because I wonder if I am not even at an âintermediateâ level, or just starting to approach an âintermediateâ level of attainment after nearly 20 years, and with only maybe 10 or 20 years left of âyouthfulâ (or middle-age) vigor. At this rate, will I be able to be âenlightenedâ or at least understand more of the truth of spirituality/religion in this lifetime, ideally before I am old? Will I be enlightened with only a few years left to live? This seems far from ideal.
Assuming living in a non-dual, âenlightenedâ state is the best way to live (and also the best way to help others), I feel an urgency to achieve that âsooner than later,â before most of my current life (assuming there may be another one) is gone. Yet I already feel that I spend about as much time as I can on spiritual practices without withdrawing from professional, personal, family, etc. responsibilities, which also doesnât seem like a very âenlightenedâ thing to do (e.g., leave my family to go meditate in a cave for a few years).
Does my rate of progress seem normal? Slow? Is there anything I can do to accelerate it while maintaining a busy schedule? The only thing I can think besides the â3x-day spiritual practices where possibleâ approach is to try harder on brahmacharya (currently about 1 orgasm/fortnight), though that can also be a challenge to fit with married sex life (I can have sex with my wife without feeling need for an orgasm up to around that 2 week mark, but beyond that it becomes quite difficult), and it is also sort of unclear to me whether more extended brahmacharya, which I can only achieve by largely avoiding sexual stimulation, is a road to faster spiritual progress as compared with e.g., 1 orgasm/fortnight with tantric/long pre-orgasmic stimulation.
I do know that achieving amrita, etc. much less fully purifying the nervous system are still quite rare accomplishments in the worldâthings monks may devote their whole lives to without trying to balance work and family and still maybe not achieve, so maybe I should not be impatient or think my progress slow. Thanks for any thoughts!