A quick disclaimer: I had no prior experience or knowledge of meditation before this happened, and my understanding is still rudimentary at best. I can’t say for certain that I am experiencing a Kundalini awakening, but after spending hours researching and looking for guidance on the internet, it seems to be the most probable explanation. As a forewarning, this post is not explicit but is a bit NSFW. I am a 21 y.o. male.
As a precursor before I explain the awakening, I used to have a rampant p^rn/lust addiction. In pursuit of greater pleasure, I researched multi-orgasmic techniques, and found this reddit post that boasts full body orgasms that are far more intense and far longer in duration than the typical male orgasm, and can be induced hands-free (and non-ejaculatorily). I followed the outlined steps without understanding what it was, and over the course of a weekend, was able to achieve it. Though the post says that stimulating the nipples and visual stimuli is required, I found that both impeded my concentration to build the proper energy I needed, so I only used the pelvic muscle exercise it described. I’ll add that because it now doesn’t do anything for me, and because I have since thoroughly researched how to improve my sexual health, I have quit my several-year-long p^rn addiction cold turkey without any withdrawal symptoms. I am approaching week three of being entirely clean with no cravings or impulses, and couldn’t feel healthier for it.
The reason I am posting this is because near the end of that weekend (almost 3 weeks ago now), I layered said orgasmic technique with an ejaculatory orgasm, and have created what I can only describe as a permanent internal orgasm where I can let myself slip into a blissful state so long as I am relaxed and at least somewhat comfortable. To describe exactly what it is, I relax my pelvic floor and core muscles to “induce” it (aka I no longer consciously/subconsciously suppress it), a twinge originates from my lower abdomen and quickly builds into an incredible sensation that sweeps upwards across my chest to my head, and at the same time down through my arms (strangely, not my legs like a true full body orgasm). My eyes roll involuntarily hard, often to a painful extent, my head falls back if I am not lying down, and my body curls inward. My breath stops for the duration because breathing normally breaks the sensation, but with careful and delicate breath control, I can change the intensity of it. I’ve also learned how to add the aforementioned nipple stimulation the Reddit post describes to greatly intensify it, but those orgasms are usually centered in my head and chest instead of my abdomen and arms (not a true full body orgasm). The intensity of it usually lasts for the remainder of the day, and leaves me far more sensitive to it until I sleep through the night.
Most online sources say this is a sign of a Kundalini awakening, but the energy is in my pelvic floor, abdomen, and head, not my spine (though I can move the energy to my spine and through it and it seems to linger there, but this is a recent development in the past couple days). The only negative symptoms I have experienced are muscle aches from doing it excessively. I have no issues with sleep, interruptions in everyday tasks, or fluctuations in mood or libido, or anything else (which shocks me given the typical withdrawal symptoms of the addiction I just quit). Pretty much every aspect of my physical and mental health has improved. It all sounds and feels fantastic, but I also read that there are lots of dangers of a mismanaged or abused Kundalini Awakening: burnout, wild fluctuations in libido and mood, narcissistic behavior, god complexes, and dissociation (which happened for a couple hours once because I let myself become lost too much in the sensation, the dissociation ended after a more grounded orgasm a couple hours later). I can’t help but worry that as incredible as it has been, that there will be an equally powerful depression waiting to surface when the newness of it wears off. More significantly, I worry about how far over my head I’m in with advanced meditative subjects, and that there are greater long-term consequences beyond just amplifying and healing my sexuality that I cannot foresee. I have spent consistent time learning and reading about it these past couple weeks but I struggle to wrap my head around a lot of what other folks on the internet say. I just want to proceed safely, and if what I am currently doing is not harmful or a long term detriment, then I am perfectly content staying where I am with it.
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