Hi Folks,
Just to add the fact that there have been men in this forum who expressed fears that yoga could make them meek/feminine (also in lessons http://www.aypsite.org/28.html).
Goddess, what he said about tantra is for me absolutely clear and correct! Tantra is about etting rid of “me and mine” and open up to the Self, like all other traditions are. However, many other traditions exclude sexuality and promote celebacy to cultivate the sexual energies on the journey. The tantric tradition includes the sexual normal activity and says yes to everything - why not use the sexual drive to cultivate the sexual energies? Since the tantrics were open to include sex in the vast spiritual total life, that tiny sexual part has mistakenly over time grown to be “the whole tantric thing” and has become synonomous with the word tantra. When “neo tantra” showed up, it became VERY associated with sex only, which I personally think is a pity, and which your guru also mentioned. Google tantra and you will find many porn sites. True tantra is beyond sex (as pleasure for the little me) altogether, it’s about the union of Shiva-shakti - beyond all personality.
Hi Goddessinside,
It is so easy for people to impose their ideas on others. You have done so well to go beyond that so far. I know it’s hard at times to see through things esp. when it is said by people who we give a “higher” position to. But take a step back and look at your life. Do you think you have become more masculine? You said you never liked dancing, but you enjoyed dancing now… maybe yoga is opening you up to enjoy dancing… the tantra practices are getting you more in touch with your feminine side. As you unleash the Devi in you, you will get more and more feminine… you become a goddess. The energy channels open up and energy flows freely to help you dance as a goddess would dance, you move like the goddess moves… you radiate love like a goddess does. Yoga and tantra (and like emc said, tantra is not just sex, it is so vast, it is all about getting over the “me” and “mine”) will open you up so you can actually experience yourself and not an image of what you or anyone else thinks you are or should be.
It is good to read and get stuff from others, but finally verify it for yourself. Don’t take anyone’s word for it. There was a completely different Goddessinside I corresponded with 6 months back. There have been so many beautiful changes, openings, flowering that has happened to the goddess inside you. Why do you doubt your path? Has it shown you anything but positive shifts? You are one of the most beautiful shifts that yoga has seen… and I bow my head to you. You are what they call a spiritual treasure, just waiting to flower.
Read and take what works for you form different traditions… but when things seem out of sync… just let them go. All gurus will guide you in the path that worked for them. You pick what works for you from those paths and keep moving on. Trust your inner guru… trust the goddess inside you. Like I said in another post yesterday… people can draw you a map… but your journey is your journey… it will have its own sets of scenery, hills, rivers, potholes, resting places, flowers etc. Enjoy your walk. 
What if yoga was balancing the male/female energies, so each person gains more of the opposite?
Just a guess.
But feminine should not be thought of as “meek”. That’s something male-dominated cultures have taught women.
ok… first of all, I want you to know that each one of you is a unique and great support right now, as I’m writing…
Thank you for that.
Second, no, Tantra is not only about sex…
But the very word “sex” has become a source of misunderstandings.
In sex you can put everything, from lust&porn to the highest peak of ecstacy and bliss.
When I make love, I don’t have sex to give pleasure to my self.
Evrybody went through this physical-hormonal-compulsive drive and tendency which is natural and biological.
When I make love (or should I say used to!?), I offer my whole self, and I become deeply receptive… how can the “I” remain in that state of deep intimacy? It simply melts in deep union and peace…
I have never been able to dive in this blissful state in another context. At the most, I had deep releases and openings of heart during practices… So, basically, I have a deep rooted problem of attachment to a certain context that allowed me to naturally unfold and experience deep blissful states. I just find it unfair to be “forced” to work on artificial means to reach this blissful state again…when I say “forced”, it’s not that anybody is forcing me, but once you taste bliss, you just crave for getting back to it again.
Sometimes, I find women who never experienced deep ecstacy lucky…
They don’t even know what they are missing… how could they feel frustrated? They simply do their practices, when they are on a spiritual path, and eventually experience intense things…(or what they think to be the most intense things they’ve ever experienced) and by the way, when each of us use the terms “bliss” or “ecstacy”, what is perceived as blissful to you, could simply be plain pleasure to someone else…it is so relative.
Emc: don’t tell me about tantra porn websites on Google! I just got enough of that! Such sickness… I dream of the day when making love would become synonym with making peace…
Shanti: you can be proud of yourself: you made me cry 
I can see the evolution for the 6 past months, but it’s always supportive to see friends who confirm your inner feelings about it. Thank you. I am the one who bows down to you. I just hope the flowering will happen for me soon… I don’t wana stay in the waiting room anymore 
It’s just that listening to “my” guru yesterday, I felt so small, so limited, and felt I am way far from the highest possiblities I could attain…it sounds stupid simply put like that, but the realisation of this fact in itself makes your ego shrink and all the hopes, expectations, desires, beliefs, are simply destroyed.
They say a real guru is not the one whom you feel pleasant and comfortable to sit with. He’s the one who goes on showing your limitations and breaking your ego. But they also say that no matter how painful it is, your guru is the one you feel attracted to, despite the fear…
And I think Sadghuru, alhough he offered me powerful tools and allowed me to experience higher levels of energies, he’s not the one I’m attracted to or “vibrate” to.
I guess this could be the criterium…(?)
What bugged me also was the feeling that I was on a totally wrong direction or understanding of what tantra is. I was so receptive to the simplicity of Osho’s teachings (simplicity, not easiness!)
Now that I heard Sadghuru talking about Tantra, it felt such a high unaccessible thing!! As if to say: little girl, forget about all your illusions, get back to tough earth, and work hard! you are far from purity and light! Still tons of layers to shed!
Interesting, Goddess.
It’s possible to learn from more than one source at a time also.
Google tantra? is that like this?------>
How beautiful, Goddessinside! I really feel mudita now. Thank you.
A process of connecting my masculinity, which I lost during my first intimate relationships, started some four years ago, when an astrologist talked to me about the strong influence of Venus on me. At that time he recommended, that I should search for Mars inside myself. He explained that as human beings, we are designed for wholeness, and that we need to search for it in order to be happy. And so, he didn’t suggest to simply replace the Venus principle with the Mars principle, because I am a man, but to find and befriend both, in order to embrace them both, gain freedom, and find an open, sincere and healthy connection to both sexual principles. This equanimity then would open the way for my true nature, to manifest on it’s own.
He was so right! I feel so well centered in my masculinity nowadays, yet appreciating all the feminine around. Also, I found that this approach leads to not being afraid of my own feminine, and this is the key, I think, because ultimately there is no gap between inside and outside. It makes me free to love the feminine without hindrances, and open to it without fear - whether it comes from inside, or outside. And so, it seems not to be about connecting with one of the principles to the detriment of the other. Broad perspective, instead of exclusive identification .
All the best,
Roman
Beautiful Roman! Yes… we all tend to become whole…
That’s what people seek consciously or unconsciously and
the physical lovemaking is a desperate attempt to become one! at least for a moment.
I found an interesting article about the relationship between our first chakra and its influence on male/female aspects or qualities that could be the underlying cause of physical illnesses like AIDS and herpes.
This is an excerpt of the article:
The first chakra is often dismissed or seen as “Less Than,” in relation to the other energy centers.
This is a serious misconception. Our life force and connection to things physical emanates from the first chakra (after all, none of us were delivered through the heart, throat, third eye, or crown, were we?), so why are we so hesitant to fully experience our own fire? The first chakra, in all it’s maleness, manages to work in exquisite harmony with the Mother energies to bring forth new life. I think it is a truly remarkable thing, this masculine center through which passes the most Sacred, feminine energy,the waters of the womb and the blood of the Moon. Our evolution as a physical species may be no more complicated (or no less) than that process fire and water, Co-Creating in harmony.
(…)
If diagnosed with either herpes or shingles, decide not to accept the diagnosis of the disease as something that can never be cured. Then, spend some time daily connecting to the energies of The Divine Mother. This connection can be made through requesting the feminine energies to come in during meditations and dream time encounters, and through conscious connection with Nature. Spend time with plants, water, trees, stones, soil, etc. Finally, open up your mind’s creative storehouse and find something to “Create.”
Suppressed creativity is definitely a factor in the development of herpes, as well as the severity of symptoms. Decide now to involve yourself in something enjoyably creative-dancing, acting, singing, painting, writing, sculpting, designing, etc. Creativity is essentially an intuitive, feminine process and closing that part of you down is a dishonoring of the feminine. Open your imagination, activate childhood fantasies, and take up hobbies reflecting earlier creative tendencies.
Hope you will find it useful
I am not sure if I should say I am sorry I made you cry or you are welcome (since you thanked me). But please do accept my apologies if I did upset you.
The flowering has happened, is happening and will continue happening. It is not a one time thing. It is like a rose, tightly closed up, and then a layer of petals open, and then another and another. Like that, we are tightly closed up, then we drop some layers and open, and some more… and some more. The closed up, confused, sad Goddessinside from 6 months back is now a confident, happy Goddessinside… and getting more and more in touch with her true self. That is the flowering… and the more you open, the more you will flower.
I really don’t know much about gurus. I know I enjoy listening to some of them. To me, when you are in the presence of an enlightened guru, who is telling you truths you don’t want to hear… you may have reactions to his/her words but yet you will be drawn to be close to him/her. If you are not feeling comfortable with his/her words, or not understanding the words… it maybe he/she is not for you right now.
“A true Guru will never humiliate you, nor will he estrange you from yourself. He will constantly bring you back to the fact of your inherent perfection and encourage you to seek within. He knows you need nothing, not even him, and is never tired of reminding you. But the self-appointed guru is more concerned with himself than with his disciples.”
– Nisargadatta Maharaj
Tantra is not complicated. It is not something that is way out there beyond everyone’s reach. Since the words are very cryptic, it can be made as complicated or as simple as a person wishes to make them. Anything that can give you pure joy for a moment will take you to the gap… Vigyana Bhairava Tantra give us 112 real simple meditation techniques to use everyday things to find that gap. If your guru makes it sound “high” and “inaccessible”, then maybe he is not talking at your level. That is not a bad thing… maybe you need to go back to those talks a bit later. Right now, stay with Osho’s simplicity of tantra if that helps you.
In Vigyana Bhairava Tantra (VBT), the first 9 techniques use the breath to find the “gap”… there are a few techniques that use emotions like anger, pain, fright, some of the techniques are geared for the people who are artistic, some for people who enjoy food or music or art, some others include sound, sexual techniques, sleep, cosmos, darkness, thoughts and many other every day mundane things that people go through. VBT are very easy techniques to help you unclutch. When in mind, it is very hard to find the gap that disconnects the thoughts… finding the gap helps us break down the mind. Meditation helps us have easier access to the gap. So meditation along with the practice of pranayama and tantra… all together will make the grounds fertile for our awareness to emerge and take over our everyday life. Then we will be living in ecstatic bliss all the time. That is what tantra teaches us. It is not a matter of understanding it with our minds… its a matter of experiencing it with our being… and if what your guru tell you is hard to follow, go with the things that you do follow for now. It will all lead you to the same place. Nothing wrong with ordering from picture menus if you cant read yet .
Hi Shanti…
You made me cry out of gratitude and emotion… and anyway, how could you ever hurt me?! Whenever something hurts me, it simply hits something inside that needs to be looked at, so never worry or feel sorry.
You are probably right: if the guru’s talk felt disturbing and made me upset, maybe it was because something deep inside of me was seeking an answer or a release… and it was partially about karmic tendencies… Apart from the DVD on Tantra, I joined the satsang because I needed to know whether it was time for me to walk on a different path or not… so it was a deep inquiry and I just tried to open my self and receive whatever would come during the “meeting”…
Today, I did spinal breathing + deep meditation… I felt my brain was a big cotton-like ball… so, much purification was happening in the head…I slept deeply for about 20 minutes, then did (Isha) Shambhavi, and realized, almost visualized, what may have happened during satsang: I had this feeling that the guru broke my attachment to certain thoughts I have… that could explain the “dispersed” or “puzzle” feeling of the mind substance… I could almost draw it, coz I had a very physical perception of that, during my practices today…
It may sound like a rationalization, but this is simply because many words are needed to explain a very quick perception. But this is the best I can do to explain what I perceived.
So, yes Shanti… you may be right… I shouldn’t draw any conclusion concerning Saddguru’s talks… Let’s put it aside for the moment, and expeiment slowly with the Vigyana Bhairava Tantra techniques.
Thank you Shanti for your Love…
… beautiful. No does not sound like rationalization… sounds like an inner understanding… a knowing beyond the mind… perfect.
:sleeping:
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Hmm, don’t know how “the show” looked like back then, but I’m quite sure that nowadays many men actually do appreciate feminine beauty quite naturally. And that is very good, since it enriches the life experience of all of us. Thank you so much for the links, emc, I really enjoyed watching the women dance.
And talking about beauty, here it’s expressed through the male body. I like these videos very much:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76JdnsCRV0s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVTsJ6amAZU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbUbzJyuGmE