Read this just now. Can relate so strongly!
This nagging feeling of existence which is the constant companion is the major source of suffering.
Deleting/destroying this nuisance seems most desirable, but also dissolution and bliss as the result of this delete.
I would say it is not a deletion of existence that is required but an embrace - a love of all that is and all that is not.
Sey 
Aaaah, nothingness [OM]
Hello, I stumbled unto this topic again. Ever since the age of seven i’ve had a realization that this world is a prison and that everyone is acting even my parents… and I wanted to get out from all this illusion… As years passed by I realized that in a sense that realization is true and most of humanity isn’t aware of itself nor does it have one single permanent I… yet all is that divine presence and it’s empty at the same time. Existent and non existent. A contradiction.
Speaking for myself… I guess things have changed from back then if you read my first post where there were thoughts of suicide. And I am sharing again because of this. To others who are at that place. Hang on in there. It will pass. It really does! Nowadays these thoughts never even cross my mind thank God. Yet there is this detachment from existence non the less. Even though I am very active in the world now. Love to everyone 
Live in this world as though, you are a stranger or traveler. Muhammad.
Hi Ananda
Thanks for your update and encouragement. I am coming out of a dark place like this myself and am very familiar with these feelings. I’m glad I haven’t “deleted myself” but I definitely understand the state, and the feeling that this reality is a prison. Just last night I had a dream where I was about to be locked up forever, and the guard whispered to me, “There is no escape, only time.” shudders And yet I woke up feeling like this was a riddle, like saying that it’s our sense of time that keeps us in this perceived prison. idk
-KC
You are in prison. If you wish to get out of prison, the first thing you must do is realize that you are in prison. If you think you are free, you can’t escape.
G.I. Gurdjieff
Thinking is one thing and doing or being is another… Much love dear k
And “Jesus said, “Be passersby.”” (from the Gospel of Thomas)
And “Jesus said, “Be passersby.”” (from the Gospel of Thomas)
:heart:
It is amazing how strangers seem to understand and support each other. Sometimes, it takes so little , just a little push to get you in the right direction. Seek support and you will find it. The world is full of people that can help you, without even being aware of your pain.