The topic of unconditional love in yoga communities and their views about relationships whether intimate ones or friendships or family….this topic was always something I found foolish and blind that sweeps lots of issues under the carpet and some yoga people are excellent at that…although yoga should give us the courage to stare at the sun ( the lies we tell ourselves) instead of looking away
So I have been following this amazing woman Ashanti Bentil-Dhue , all her topics are very relevant to me as woman in rhe 21st century .This video is on point in expressing this joke called unconditional love
Certainly unconditional love does not mean letting people treat us any way they want to. If we love someone then we set healthy boundaries around behaviour. Even if we do not love someone, we should set healthy boundaries around behaviour. This can even mean reporting someone to the police if necessary, and giving evidence against them in court if necessary.
Unconditional love is simply an aspect of our true nature and is experienced increasingly as we come to know That which we truly are. It means that eventually, as a result of the practice of yoga, love is there as a foundation of our being at all times. When we walk in the forest, love is there, or when we cook food, love is there. When we speak to someone, or write something, love is there. And that love exists no matter what. It is not affected in any way by actions in the world, things people say, or do, or by anything else. I have found that the more we experience unconditional love, the more we are able to set healthy boundaries in relationships, and the faster we are able to step in, and take action, if someone’s abusive behaviour needs redressing.
And that love exists no matter what. It is not affected in any way by actions in the world, things people say, or do, or by anything else. I have found that the more we experience unconditional love, the more we are able to set healthy boundaries in relationships
i find this contradictory, how can love exist no matter what and yet set boundaries. When you take action to set boundaries, you do that out of self preservation (whether the abuse is verbal or behavioural which has a big range of examples , for example, from a freeloader to physical abuse)….when you say no and quick these persons out of your life , you dont feel love
when you talk about love while cooking etc…that is peace , tranquility , and contentment
but when it comes to dealing with others, their actions (and the same applies to the actions in the world) might disrespect you or take advantage of you (or kill you like in wars)…so there is no way you will love the abuser
So, the love that is an aspect of our true Self simply exists always. It is not a love for someone, or for something. It is not that we love something because of the way it is, and we hate something else. It is simply love that is always there, underlying everything. That is why I said that it can be present even whilst walking in the forest, or whilst cooking. It does not need an object to exist, and in fact all objects do not affect it. That is why it is called “unconditional”. There are no conditions that affect it.
This love is also compassionate, and because of this love we naturally want others to be happy. People who engage in abusive actions are generally not happy, and are creating unskillful karma for themselves which will cause them to suffer later, so if they engage in abusive actions towards us, or anyone else, then, out of compassion, we will naturally act to prevent them from doing any harm. That is not done out of self preservation, but out of compassion for the other person. That action can be setting healthy boundaries which could include cutting that person out of our life permanently if necessary. We are cutting them out of our life because we love them. But the love still remains. There is simultaneously the knowing that we will never see them again, and at the same time tremendous love. We wish them well and hope that they find happiness.
This love does not end when the physical body dies. Only the physical body falls away, nothing else changes. So, if we are able to come to know unconditional love in this lifetime, and live as that, then it will still be there after death. And we will carry it wherever we go next. So, it is never lost.
in my experience , this is felt as not wanting to harm any creature and empathy , helping if possible…there is tendency to care without expecting something in return
i dont feel compassion to the abusive person….he/she might be miserable or not (some of them dont feel any emotion) but that is not my concern….my concern is stop the abuse and it is self preservation. Everything we do is for the sake of self preservation (of the transient self ) starting from eating to cutting unaccepatble behaviours…that is perfectly normal and aligned with the so called spiritual person, …
i dont know about that….it is based on beliefs… i dont believe…just know what i know in this moment..even what i know now , i doubt it
Yes, not wanting to harm others and a feeling of empathy towards others and wanting to help without expecting anything in return are all aspects of this unconditional love. These are qualities that naturally grow stronger as we practice.
And of course someone may feel no compassion, or love, towards an abusive person and simply a desire for self-preservation. And in that case healthy boundaries are still important, including if necessary, completely disengaging from someone and not communicating any more.
If someone is still identified with the body and mind then they may believe they eat food for self-preservation. However they are not their body, or mind, so the idea that they are preserving themselves is a false one. Our true Self can never be harmed, so it requires no preservation. It is the one thing that is always preserved, no matter what.
As for what happens after we die, it is not simply a question of belief. I used to believe that we simply stop existing when we die. Then, as my inner senses activated, I started meeting people who had died and that gave me a different perspective on things. So, it was not that I stopped believing something and started believing another thing. It was that I gained new direct knowledge about what happens to people when they die.
They don’t have physical bodies any more. Their physical body has either been cremated, or buried, or is still in the hospital or morgue.
Sometimes there is a direct knowledge of who they were when they were alive. Other times it is easy to work out who they were. One time I met a spirit in a barn who was very angry and hateful. Then later I found out that someone had committed suicide in the barn a few years earlier, so I could work out that this was the same person as the one who had died. But sometimes I will meet a spirit and simply know who they were when alive.
) starting from eating to cutting unaccepatble behaviours…that is perfectly normal and aligned with the so called spiritual person, …