I think that’s not a bad way to work it out. Just relax and re-think things. As for other people saying counterarguments won’t help, he posted this topic on a yoga forum. I mean what kind of replies did you expect? But I do agree that they won’t help, words seldom ever do.
BREATH I AM
In Stillness I Behold Thee
Inbreath Rushes Upward to Greet the Divine:
Namaste O Holy One
Outbreath Rains Down Amrita to Nourish
All The Parched Earth
Meeting Every Need
Embracing Every Tear
Gratitude Gratitude Overflows
For Thy Presence
In The Song of My Glorious Breath
O Life, O Love
Holy
Blessed
I Am
Forever
In Thy Heart
You can only start from when you are psysaucer.
You know that joke - the Englishman in Ireland asking for directions to Cork. An Irishman helpfully listens to his question and then repys “Hm, yes, well… You know, if I were to go to Cork, I wouldn’t start from here.”
Be with yourself fully in the present moment. Witness those frustrations and disappointments. The wisdom that will guide you the next step is there.
[quote=“psysaucer”]
Maybe this question is coming out of frustration…but like everything else in this world, spiritual practices are bound to have their own flaws and limits. Yes, they can trigger intense life experiences and enrich the quality of one’s life by a remarkable degree and maybe make someone live their entire life in the grip of bliss and beatitude I don’t know.
But if the thing that you are obsessed with is ‘truth’(whatever that may mean, if there is any such thing at all), if the big question for you is “what is this all about?”, then why even bother doing this spiritual stuff.
I don’t mean to dismiss the fact that there may be something immensely important about meditative and yogic practices, but after almost 15 years of practicing meditation and after having reaped at least some of its supposed fruits…all I am left with is absolute frustration. Not that I am depressed or in an existential crisis- none of that. But it feels like all the people who taught me to do this and promised eternal truth, the formless brahman and what not were just looking out for kicks, messing with their bodies so they could make themselves get stoned without drugs and call that samadhi or whatever.
[/quote]Wow…let me tell you something but I’ll try to be short this time because it looks like if I’m getting into details/serious matters here, my posts (or even worst my entire topic) will be deleted, as I experienced not too long ago.
You have arrived at a milestone that only a few people can arrive. All I can say is that from where you are you need an additional shock and your spiritual journey (has nothing to do with practice) might blossom in unexpected ways. 
Regarding that enlightened being that you are looking for, my personal advice is that you yourself have to find it even though its really hard to do so. Why? Because only enlightened beings can know for sure who is, or who is not enlightened. In our case (and all the rest of us) THE ONLY way to tell, is by the amount of knowledge that one has. That being said, if you can find a person that can answer almost every question that you have in enormous detail without any lag in his explanations, then that person can be helpful to you.
Now since you opened this topic I’d like to ask you, why would you wanna find an enlightened being? What would you ask if you would meet him? What do you wanna know that you don’t know?
Please don’t hesitate to communicate, maybe someone here can give you a really good advice. 
[OM]
Nothing to be frustrated about. Nothing at all.
If you don’t wanna do practice, then dont. If you wanna go drink alcohol and do whatever and whomsoever you want…it is but your choice. Real spirituality isn’t so fragile that it’ll still not consider you anything more than a piece of life Whether you meditate 10 hours a day or a new guy who does less than 20 minutes, It doesn’t matter.
Go on ahead, waste yourself in decadence of life. Live and enjoy each and every moment of it.
My only advice will be, live consciously…pleasure of materialistic nature however tempting, are limited but not your greed. You will never be satisfied ever in life. But it doesn’t mean that one cannot enjoy it or they are evil and hideous things to be avoided…they are just limited.
Be straight with yourself, that’s all that is needed to be spiritual. Rest is just nonsense added onto it. You don’t need to be goody goody 24/7 nor need to quote a holy book for everything or control your diet your entire life to see a glimpse of spirituality.
The reason you are not reaching your end goal is because you are not yet straight with yourself. Once you achieve that there will be a silence in you. Lean onto it, you’ll find the whole world inside you. There are no limits, no boundaries…that is the whole point of spirituality.
Just living life with absolute involvement is good enough. You’ll feel ecstatic just by that alone. Don’t push yourself through meditations or things you don’t want to do and live however you want, but only consciously.
Nothing I said was something I didn’t feel throughout my life.
If the Ultimate exists, what exactly isn’t a path towards him?
Psysaucer, I hope you stay and pursue your questions here. You will find that the AYP crowd, while sometimes challenging, does none of this without the intention to understand and to assist, if possible. There is not a standard of concept or conduct here (you don’t have to think what anyone else does here), except perhaps to understand the practices Yogani teaches.
But seeing that you described yourself as a seeker of “truth,” you know how big a word that is! I would suggest to consider it in its breadth and not to ignore the not-yet-completed structures of knowledge and awareness that are already in the world. Perhaps you can see a few aspects of truth that draw you, such as people (literature and psychology), the physical realities that are apparent to our senses and minds (STEM), thought and thinking (mathematics and philosophy), and perhaps the emotional and perceptual language of the inner self in the world (art and music). I mention these as associated (in my opinion) with academic fields because they are ways of seeking achievement towards truth that are accessible, challenging, and engaging, and provide a complement to spiritual practices or growth.
I think spiritual growth (for me at least) takes work. To perform and practice physical yoga, daily meditation, pranayama and reflection are work, take time and represent an investment. I see the payback in my daily life. I don’t know if I’ll reach enlightenment (I yearned for it in my 20’s) nor kundalini, but the journey has been much better with spiritual practices than without.
People here will also be interested in sharing some of the understanding you have gained, psy.