Spiritual Pride

Yes, but there’s a negative side. If your own witness alarm is keenly scanning for this, you have to frequently suppress the urge to voice your observations when you see it in others. In a very real sense, it’s like stifling an impulse to help someone up after you see them fall on the sidewalk (and a lawyer friend cautions that one must never do that, either…if there’s an injury involved, you could get sued!)

So what do you do?

Hi all
Jim wrote:

Yes. So we say. Continuously. And it is true. But when I am “muddeled” this becomes just words. A kind of “comfort” that veils the very stillness I “know” I am at the deepest level. So for me it doesn’t help telling myself this. Only knowing it by experience does it for me. Only then am I “touched” by it. That is why - for me - acceptance works best. And that includes accepting “the judge” as long as its there. AYP helps me accept. When I accept I relax. When I relax I become quiet.
And…shush… :blush:
Meg wrote:

Meg, I love it. You are actually being affectionate
with your ego :slight_smile: . This way it doesn’t have to be on guard 24/7.
Jim wrote

Absolutely.
My observation, though, has been that “the one observing” in me isn’t only the witness. It can also be “the judge”, disguised as “the witness”. This clever carracter will seek to deflate the self-image (because it “knows” this is the spiritually correct thing to do) - and hence strengthen itself. Now that’s worth a laugh, don’t you think? :grin:
So…I have come to accept that the self-image is not capable of letting go of the self-image. Nobody lets go. Self image simply drops when the understanding/silence/witness is there. For me - it is “digit by digit”. And thank God for AYP.
I love to talk with you guys. I learn something new every day!
Thank you!
May all your Nows be Here

Shanti said, “so what do you do?”
Is that the art of compassion? To gently or lovingly help the fallen one to his feet without recognizing any fault in his having tripped? That act may leave all egos by the wayside as the watcher is revealed to be the only true presence in the whole dance.

My pattern thus far has been to fluctuate between pissing people off and receding into resigned sulky silence. Another option is super-hyper tact. But that fails to deliver the cold water splash required to penetrate a person’s egoism
But going forward, this is what I’m working on (work strictly in progress!!!):
One could go nuts trying to fix the world. So we channel the impulse into fixing ourselves, which helps fix the world. When there’s a need, and an oportunity for your actions to meet that need, and if you’re surrendered into the flow (aka God, etc etc), the flow will find a way to express itself through you in a perfect and beautiful way to perfectly and beautifully address the situation. You just have to stay out of it.
For example, I dont’ know where that “unceasingly challenge” poem came from. I just sort of spurted it out in about ten mins. Wasn’t my doing. And it seemed to speak more clearly (though it was no great poetry) than any “doing”. We yogis are purifying ourselves not in order to get all divined up, but to be more fully available vehicles for serving this gorgeous collaborative art project going on here. If we learn not to fight the universe, we paint in the color of compassion.
Thy will be done.

Oh, and if people fall down, I help them up. And if they sue me, great. I can watch what part of me gets angry and frustrated, and learn to identify less with that part.

Jim - Lord help me if I ever stop helping people up off the sidewalk for fear of a lawsuit. That sounds so American, doesn’t it? :slight_smile: Maybe I could have them sign a release form before I help them, as they lay there in a heap.
Katrine - Thanks for observing my great affection for my ego. It’s been with me for so long; how can I not feel tenderness? Like a cranky old aunt who’s a-hundred-n-two, or a lazy old cat who pees in the bed - you just love them, in spite of the annoyance.
Alan - Are you a Leo too? :slight_smile:
Shanti - What I do is empty myself, constantly, whenever I think of it, which is more and more often. Empty yourself of any and all images you have of yourself. Jim is always saying dropitdropitdropit and it gets really annoying (sorry jim) but it’s the best thing we can possibly do. Empty thyself, and in so doing THAT which we seek can fill you. But not if you’re already full.
Emptying oneself is an ongoing, life-long process.
Also very important is not to be offended by the actions of another, as that too is ego. The Self is never offended, I’m qute sure of this. It has nothing at stake, as someone has said elsewhere. Maybe it was me. :slight_smile:

Meg cat, no I’m an aquarian,'62. Though aquarius is the opposite air sign from leo fire. I’ve read that the aquarian age is actually the aquarian/leo age.
I was just word-playing, it made a nice picture to me :slight_smile:

Shanti,
We’re not talking about ego in the sense of having a big head and lots of pride. It’s the eastern meaning…the narrating, thinking, grasping mind and our image of a separate, frozen self.
You can be humble and still locked in ego mind. Humility’s not the answer. The answer is practices, which enable you to more and more recognize that you are the witness/silence, rather than the noise. Not frozen. Not separate.

I’m concerned that by opening this topic I may have confused people, or made it seem like there’s a lot to worry about and to intellectualy chew on. So I’d like to make an attempt to boil it down.
The danger of making this journey an attempt to accomplish something or get somewhere is that your mind will try to dutifully give you what you seek, creating a “virtual sadhana”, with perils cautioned about above. The solution? Just act normal, engage with the world per normal, and keep mildly, simply clearing windows with AYP, like a small river wearing away at a rocky canyon. Mild and low-profile, just like Yogani’s brilliantly rendered writings in the lessons. I frequently reread Yogani’s lessons to get unwound up and restore myself to the mild simplicity of it all.
Plus: I watch for indications that I have a stake in things (anything!), which is a sign that ego is enhancing rather than declining. I carefully witness my reaction when something I value is taken away, or when something seems to diminish or offend me. I watch what makes me angry. If/when I start going the other way (and grasping more, taking more stake, etc etc), I 1. shine clear, clear spotlight of the witness on the grasping points of attachment (note: the witness is incapable of judging), and 2. simplify yet again my approach to practices (reading yogani helps), and 3. seek to engage in the world more per normal, If I’ve gotten overly yoga-ish.
It’s sort of a meta self-pacing issue.

Everything you’re emptying yourself of is God. It’s all God, no need to empty anything. Come as you are. All you need to do is adjust your attitude. Let go. Don’t cede control, cede your illusion that you are in control, and just let the perfection carry you

When I say that I empty myself, I mean of ego. I want to be filled with God, but if I’m already filled with my ego, then there’s no room for God to come in. (It’s hard to write about this without using cliches; we grasp for words to express our experiences). I have a deep awareness that I am ‘full of myself’, which is ego, which is attachment, which is illusion. When I drop that, I have a deep awareness that I am no longer in control. In emptying myself of ego, I am effectively ceding control.
Not disagreeing with you, btw. Just trying to explain myself better, and am glad for the opportunity. The one thing that I don’t see eye-to-eye with is that there’s no need to empty anything. Clearly I think there is, unless you can persuade me otherwise? :slight_smile: Yes, everything is of God; everything is God, including the obstacles which prevent us from seeing God. But those obstacles - godly or not - need to be reckoned with if we want a clearer view. That’s why we meditate, that’s why we do the practices. I see the emptying as part of that.
It’s counter-intuitive to think that God is preventing me from seeing God. Makes my head hurt. :frowning_face:

Hi all
A perspective:
What drops are ideas about who I am. But it is not I that drop them. They simply dissolve when the understanding of the issue is complete. Understanding is not an idea about how things are; it is not a description; it is not a statement. Understanding is the embodiment of a state. When the understanding is complete – there is beingness. And the beingness is insightful.
When I inquire inwards; when I watch; it is not like I am capable of shining a clear spotlight. I don’t shine anything. If there is light in the looking, the witness is the light. No duality there. However –knowing intellectually that I am the witness is just a statement. It is only complete understanding when I actually experience it. And I go “in” and “out” of that perception. Especially if I “will myself to shine”. As long as I carry the idea that I – my ego – is still here; (and clearly I do, or else there would be no dispute in me), I am not purely witnessing yet. Therefore – there is still judgement there.
???
Oh my God……I just realized that I did it again – I judge the fact that my ego is here… to be something that is not optimal. :grin: :grin: :grin: Laughing - this is hilarious! I love it when this happens – the laughter is instantly relaxing. The fact that the ego is here only “muddels” me if I identify with it. Otherwise it is perfectly ok. I can laugh and love. My personality is allowed to be what it is – and I am free to be what I came here to do.
This is how I perceive the one looking as composed of part witness and part ego (otherwise all debate would end – there would simply be omniscience). My ego has never been capable of letting go. Nobody lets go. It is not a doing. The way I see it, it simply happens by itself. In relaxation I don’t let go; I simply become quiet (as above – when I was shocked into silence and laughter). And I become quiet the instant I see clearly. If I see; then there’s no need to talk to myself – is there? If I think of myself as someone who is letting go of something – I perpetuate that someone. When I completely understand this, I stop identifying with that thought. And the instant I stop identifying, the thought drops - it cannot exist cut off from my awareness. The witness part of the watching will see the ego judging what it sees. If I keep evaluating; keep talking while I see; then I veil the clarity with my words.
Deep meditation helps me to be quiet. It is not that I “empty myself of words”; nor that “I let go of talking”, but rather that I experience – and thus understand (right there and then) - that I am quiet to begin with.
Enjoy yourself :wink:
May all your Nows be Here

Hi Katrine :slight_smile:
You clarified that nicely for me :slight_smile:
I love the sparkle and joy that comes through your words[:).
Peace, alan

Meg, right. I got a good vibe off your posting, regardless of language used. Mostly worried readers along might think that “trying to empty themselves out” was yet another thing they had to do and accomplish, etc etc.

Hi Katrine thanks for your perspective, it touches on some things I have been observing in myself these days and contemplating.

I agree with this and also think that thoughts related to things we believe we need to be fulfilled, are also big occupiers of our inner space (i.e. another’s love, attention or affection). As we realize we already are all that we seek to be or obtain in the outer world and these things drop away we become more clear and more of our awareness can shine through. Maybe we are saying the same thing?
I have noticed two “favorite topics” going on in my mind these days. I hear the thoughts going on and they appear to be headed somewhere, to be trying to work things out, to come to an understanding as you put it. Will they ever get somewhere I wonder? I have also been wondering if I should let these thoughts run their course (is there an end?) and go with trying to figure things out or if i should focus on trying to be more present instead.
I had an interesting experience lately where I could see all my thoughts below me, like I was on the surface. I could see how when I watched from “above” out into what I was observing, how it became richer and more real. I then noticed that when I turned my attention to my thoughts how it increased their intensity and “realness” but decreased my experience of the now. Hence my unanswered question above.

This is an easy one to fall into and so is the idea that we can figure this all out! Two traps I fall into frequently! :blush: :wink:
A

If I’m having a difficult time letting go in a given situation, that is, if I’m clinging to my ego desires, I come back to a phrase from my childhood which comes from the Lord’s Prayer: Thy will be done. Powerful, simple, and to the point.

Hi Andrew

Yes. We are. And the realization - the perception/understanding - that we already are what we seek, is made possible through the purification of the nervous system, through the Yoga Practises - AYP in our case.

Well…all I can say is that my thoughts never came to an understanding. Yes - they seem to be heading somewhere; but in me, they go in circles…a perpetuum mobile (do you have that expression in English?). Of course, thoughts can get you somewhere logistically…you plan your daily life etc, but any “figuring out” that has to do with “who I am” gets me nowhere.
What makes me “grow in understanding” is integrating what I see. BTW: “To see” for me is: To know - in my heart - that this is how it is. There is absolutely no dispute left. I just know. Usually, when I don’t see clearly, it is also because I resist what I see. And I resist what I see because it doesn’t coincide with “my idea of how my life should be”. Seeing can be very scary - simply because I “lose my ground” (of course that ground is fake to begin with, but I don’t experience it as such then). So…I have to be gentle with myself. I have to allow a lot. I have to give myself the time needed to grow. And then - when the understanding has ticked in - I can act (or not act).
F.ex: If I find out - through seeing/understanding - that I have been behaving in a manner that is opposed to what I really feel deep down is true for me, then this understanding is not only a “candy” that I store away in my “insights/treasure bank”. I only mature if I implement/integrate that understanding in the way I live my life. Otherwise, there is no digestion…I become bloated on understandings. The way I see it, this “bloatedness” is spiritual pride (and I have my share of that).
To me - presence is everything. The more present I am, the more I see how things are. It is the seeing that is the understanding - not the way I talk about it afterwards. The talking can never really capture the whole understanding - I have to be here and experience it myself for that to happen.
It never worked for me to try to stop my thoughts. I do both, Andrew: Let the thoughts run their course (no, there is no end to them…only presence shuts them up) and focus on being more present. And - play and have fun! I was way to serious. I forgot to have fun for years. When I relax - presence is here automatically. After all, life is to be lived. When I am hungry, I won’t settle for the menu :grin:
May all your Nows be Here

Hi Alan

Thanks, Alan :grin:
Don’t forget; it is your sparkle, your joy :slight_smile:
May all your Nows be Here

Great, Meg:

And the funny thing is, this is always how it is anyway :slight_smile:
May all your Nows be Here