@ Bodhi Tree - 
Ruffling your hair…
Sey
Thank you, Kami. So nice to talk to people here and not be attacked, as my paranoia would have be expect! I am pretty constricted, some healing needed here.
I included “Clarity”, “Love”, “Unity” and “Strength” as a mini-Samyama at the end of today’s sit.
So it would appear that the core elements here are “Honesty” and “Self-Forgiveness”. My ego struggles with both.
I am unsure how to communicate my own indecisiveness over all this - something she is aware of already, no doubt. “Hey so I said I wasn’t in love with you to a colleague when drunk… but I kind of am, I’m just not sure and confused and I’m sorry and… um… so… and I hear love is just a concept until we experience its truth…”?
Knowing her, it’s a luck of the draw between instant forgiveness and days of upset.
You could…
Or…
How about something like, “I am in agony that I said something in drunken stupor - about not being in love with you. In reality, I love you and feel confused about the status of our relationship…”
Just be honest about how you feel… That’s the only thing you can know. How she will react is not your business. We can’t let what we “think” the other person will do affect our authenticity.
Much love
Hey Jack,
I wish you and your girlfriend the best.
Indecisiveness is a funny little bugger. In my experience, it exists because of the ideas that we got from our surroundings, and from our lost connection with our center. Usually there is a fear involved.
If you have the capacity to look for that fear, identify it, and find your core beneath it, it would help both of you.
It seems quickest. I wouldn’t worry too much with how my girlfriend would react, while there is no ‘me’ that she can count on yet.
[OM]
Kami, I should let you write me a script. 
She is phoning me tomorrow to talk… need to man up tomorrow to deal with all this.
Thank you so much for the input, kami, Mykal and everybody…
Wish you all the luck & courage, Jack.
Really freaking out.
Wrote a letter I was about to email to her because she is phoning me in a bit and I suck at explaining things on the phone.
Exploring feelings, apologising for the hiccup, etc.
My head is totally bombarded. I am conflicted about what to do.
Is it necessary to tell her about this stuff? Arghh
To say, if it is not right to the continue the relationship, or if I wish to simply express that I am confused but love her, is it still advisable to mention the drunken hiccup?
Just sent her the message, explaining what happened, my headspace at the time, and my conflicted feelings now. Living in anxiety now, breathe
She pretty much did as you would, Sey.
Dear Bodhi Tree, apatride, SeySorciere, Kami and Mykal…
Thank you.
This has been plaguing me with guilt for the last two months, nearly.
Through your acceptance and advice, I was able to find the courage within to communicate with her.
The woman did not even get why I felt guilty… there was not even anything to forgive, in her eyes.
Thank You God, For The Beauty of Women. I would be lost sometimes if not for their enormous hearts.
Blessed
Good to hear, Jack. 
Wishing for clarity, fulfillment, and the right amount of transparency/translucency in all your relationships.
Thank you.
The right amount of transparency is the one I need to work on.
So she agreed the last few months we have been pretty much seperated, she agreed that it is only human for me to share things and she understood the doubts I expressed that night.
As we were separated, and so it felt, I did allow myself a bit of flirting and banter with women… mainly humorous though definitely flirting. Never followed up or anything like that.
Am I just being over the top to begin bringing that to the table now? It’s like whenever there is a chance of closeness, my head brings up some other guilty memory to exploit and shove in my face and sometimes hers.
Hey Jack,
I don’t know what the others here think, but I found that even one thought that you keep for yourself is enough to destroy the relationship. My advice is, whenever you want to be in a relationship, go on and say everything that is on your mind. Otherwise, your relationship will dwindle, as there will be no free flow of energy between you. Energy wise, every thought that you hold, blocks your energy. You can only go deep if you have full disclosure. Why not be totally honest with her? That way you can always be at ease with her, and then you two will grow.
I know that not many people agree with me, I guess it depends on what kind of life you want to lead. This is what I found that works for me. It takes courage, though.
But it is definitely worth it.
I apologise for bringing this thread back up, but to be honest with the group here, I just feel so terribly guilty and sad. I don’t think I’ve felt guilt free in years.
I’m not terribly inclined to go into loads of detail on a public forum, but any of the old names who recognise mine and care to lend an ear, I could selfshly do with the support.
J
Of course, Jack.
If you are inclined to share, that’s fine. If not, that’s fine too.
Do you have a practice routine?
kami
Hi Jack,
I’m still here, listening.
Love,
Carson 
Third time attempting to write this. I have logging in issues, it would seem!
Firstly - I am moved by the care displayed. Thank you. I feel a bit silly and undeserving.
Carson and kami - if you would be kind enough to send me a super-brief email/pm, then I’d have all of your email addresses. Then I could just send a group email, instead of having this all public forum?
You’ll see how infantile by concern is shortly - but then, I am dealing with an infantile part of my mind.
Thank you,