Wolfgang, all respect for your views! My thought is: can presence have thoughts about the past or the future? The past is one second ago, the future is one second ahead. If you are here and NOW, is there any past or future? I’d say no. Who is able to think about past or future? The ego. Thoughts can only be about past and future. The ego is the thinker. The mind. So being aware, being your true self is being totally here and now. Without future, without past.
There is a great trick in not letting spiritual “wantings” become goals. I really talk about un-doing sex. Then it becomes making love. It is my experience.
When I am present I don’t have likes or dislikes. Because of one, and only one reason: There is noone there to have any likes or dislikes. The body-mind that has likes or dislikes is not “me” anylonger.
I’d say unfaithful is an inappropriate word here. You are up in your mind when you enjoy the painting or sculpture. It brings you away from being fully present if you identify with the body-mind that likes (or dislikes) the object. If you think it is YOU that likes.
I do not know what sin is, but if we define it as something that slows your purification process down, so yes, then lusting or feeling attracted to another woman would be considered to be sinful. It would slow your purification process down and throw “dirt” on the window you are trying to clean with meditation etc. That is my truth right now. Because it stirres your emotions, your mind and your body. It increases your identification with the ego instead of increasing your identification with your higher self that is totally uninterested in form in a sexual way.
There is a great trick in not letting spiritual “wantings” become goals.
Does wanting one’s partner not to be stimulated sexually by ‘another’ ever get classified among the bad-wantings, the ones that pull us away from the now, or ourselves? If not, why not?
It is definitely classified among the “bad-wantings”!!! Right you are! If you WANT that, and behind it is a wanting of the partner to change, it is a desire and will most certainly manifest as the opposite. As long as you have a resistance to such a behaviour in a partner you will meet partners that behave like that over and over again.
The possibility given to the person is to see and accept that behind the “wanting to have a noble partner” is a fear of otherwise being left, being ignored, being disrespected or whatever the main feeling is… in the end the fear often turns out to be a fear of not being worthy of love. So the task is to “stay in the pain” (compare the message in Fight Club) and see that fear and associated pain and work it through.
Second view or option:
Mind creates reality. If you think you are not worthy of love and respect you will not manifest love and respect in your life. Taking responsability for your own feelings is crucial. Not trying to change the other person. When the inner changes you will attract a partner that will match you perfectly.
Addition 20 Oct
Just wanted to mention that you know you are ready & done with your fears when you no longer get upset or emotional about such a behavior in your partner. In addition, it may bring the consequence that the partner will decrease the behavior - the urge will diminish due to more generousity and love flowing from you that will be more interesting.
OR… and this is finally a “coin that has dropped down” for me: It will so totally uninteresting to have the role of a “doormat”, having to “put up” with such behavior, that you will leave the relationship. Not due to anger over the partner’s behaviour, though, since it has been accepted for what it is, but due to increased self esteem and integrity. The lesson have been learned. The next partner you attract will most certainly not have that behaviour. That will be the “proof” that you have no resistance left due to old emotional garbage.
