I am new to this forum. Ill introduce myself I am a male 36yrs old and single. It all started out last fall I had decided I wanted a change in my life it was more mental than anything else. Did not like the way I thought and went about life i was more negative than anything.
So I came up with this crazy idea that I would start meditating. I read the warning signs that it could raise your kundalini and i thought yea right whats the worst that could happen it wont happen to me.(immature thinking I know) so I meditated for about 3 weeks then I started to feel the energy at first it felt good till i read up on it and tried to figure out what it was now it does not feel as good anymore. So I stopped meditating after realizing what I had done and got scared of it. The first month or so after that it was unberable it was rough to make it through the days but now after I got used to it it is more tolerable.
Then a month or so later about the first of the year I had this new sexual craze to find a new high. So i got into prostate play and in the beginning it did feel really good. This lasted for about 5 months then something in my head told me to stop what I was doing and then it did not feel as good as it once did so i stopped that practice. After realizing I could not find any joy in anything new I try to find I got depressed for a while because I always found the negative side affect of everything. I got confused and depressed.
Than just as that desire ended I got another one. When I was into prostate play my energy got really strong going up my back and that was when I had to quit because it hurt at times. but anyway now I am into this crazy spiritual desire. I grew up in a christian house so I know a little about the religion and I am trying to learn anything I can about god. This desire I am more than welcome to keep with me for a long time. What really gets me is I know its good for me but i was never serious about it I never committed myself to it and now I almost want to really commit myself. My question is this if I have kundalini stirring inside me like I do is this a good idea? I have read other blogs that say both ways to not get involved with any religion what so ever. I have went to church since I got this craze and I felt good after it was over.
Another thing to note a couple days ago I was in bed and right before I fell asleep which is when my energy seems to be the strongest. Its not always there but it is more often than not. Like i said a couple days ago the energy was kinda strong and it started to move up my back it got to about my chest area then it died down for a bit then I could feel it pick up its intensity when it got to my neck (which is the worst feeling I think) and into my head. It was not long after it got into my head I felt this small explosion. That had me confused it did not hurt it supprised me more than anything. and thought whoah wtf was that!? The explosion happened 1 other time about a month ago the exact same way this one happened. I thought the explosions were mainly for the awakenings? If I had mine it was kinda lame compared to the stories I have read.
I do not really want to raise mine but do to the mistakes I have made over the last 8 months or so I fear I have no choice now. As far as I know I am still sane and have a lot to look forward to in life. I read this could wreck your career and family. I work in a family related business so loosing my job could also mean loosing my family which I do not want. I am in a good relation with my job and family right now.
Which is what I do want to keep.
Somehow I have sensed this year that I have a major change coming in my life. I am just not sure what it is and I hope its not an awakening. I am not sure I am ready for that or ever will be.
HI JR8036
Yes, it sounds like your kundalini energy has got a little out of hand.
There are two sides to spiritual growth: one is indeed the energy side, but the most important one, which you need to cultivate first, is inner silence (it has different names in different traditions e.g. “the witness”. We call it “inner silence” in AYP.)
I do recommend you read through the AYP lessons, so that you begin to understand the balance between inner silence and energy and also useful concepts/practices like self-pacing and grounding.
What spiritual practice you choose will depend on your inclinations. Whatever your choice will be, reading the AYP lessons will give you useful information about how to manage your spiritual practice and progress, and how to avoid severe energy imbalances.
In the meantime stay away from cultivating sexual energy (that is for advanced stages when inner silence is well developed).
Best wishes
Thank you for the reply, My current interest is not going any farther is that possible? Have I gone past the point of no return? I am going to avoid doing anything I have done in the past hoping that helps.
I would like to put a lid on it somehow. If I could.
Then you need to do as much grounding as possible. Spend your energy in physical activities - keep fit, spend time outdoors. Anything to do with earth, open spaces, vegetation, animals and people tends to be grounding. A heavier diet is in order. And, as I said before, avoid revving sexual energy. Sexual abstinence is not recommended.
If and how quickly the energy will die down no one can tell. Most of the time it does go back under the lid if you avoid stirring it up.
Take care.
Thank you so much! 
I am not going to be exploring anything else! I did not know how easy it would be to stir something like this up. I do have another question though. I have read in other blogs I forget where I found it that if kundalini is supposed to rise it will? and if its not supposed to rise no matter how hard you try it just won’t do it? How true is that? Is it something I need to keep in mind down the road in case it raises its head in me again?
Kundalini energy can be and is cultivated via energy practices. There is a noticeable cause-and-effect relationship bwteeen the two.
This ‘supposed to rise’ or ‘not supposed to rise’ only applies to people who are at the extreme ends of the sensitivity spectrum. Some people are over-sensitive - for them it is really difficult to avoid stirring up the energy. At the other end of the spectrum are the under-sensitive, who will often pile up energy practices for years without noticing much energy movement. Most of us are somewhere in between, which means practices will have an effect and it’s a question of gauging the practice for a safe unfolding of the energy.
Anyway, focusing on kundalini is putting the cart before the horses, as well as unsafe. The core of spiritual practices should be growing the inner silence.
You don’t have to worry about me raising mine now if its under my control. I learnt that the hard way this time. I did not realize there was something like that inside us till this year I am not going to mess with it on purpose any way. I am just now curious as to why something like that is inside us and most of us are not even aware it even exists till something like this happens.
Hi JR8036,
Welcome to the forums! Here is a lesson that may answer some of your questions.
Kundalini – A code word for sex
http://www.aypsite.org/54.html
@sunyata thank you that was some interesting reading. Can somebody explain the explosions I felt? Because I thought they only happened during the awakening process. I am sure there is still a lot to learn about this than what I all ready know about it.
Hi JR8036
There is an initial awakening process, where the energy can be very strong for a while. After that, things can often die down for a while as the kundalini energy returns to the pelvic area. From there, begins a much longer awakening which will transform your whole body. This longer awakening often takes years or decades depending on your dedication to the path and the amount of karmic conditioning that needs to be cleared.
If you do very little, or nothing, by way of spiritual practices, then the energy may go dormant and the longer awakening may not happen. Whether it does or not, will depend on how wired you are for this. If you are wired for it, then things may happen anyway, such as the explosions you are experiencing.
If you do engage in spiritual practices, then the whole awakening will happen. The initial symptoms can be difficult for some people, but the later awakening is a very beautiful experience and will take you to the edge of enlightenment. So it is your call if you want to follow that or not.
Christi
@ Christi
Thank you so much for the info. I have been trying to read up on this and get all the info I can and ask anybody that is willing to answer questions from my experiences. And trying to figure out what will happen. If I can do that.
I am hoping I have a long time before it happens if it even does. (which I hope it does not at this point) Who knows maybe I will change my mind later in life if it is in my control.
Hello JR8036
You’ve gotten some great advice. My guess is you are wired for a quicker awakening, so educating yourself is in order. As Blue and Sunyata suggest, read through the lessons at your leisure (there are over 400 so it would take a while) so you understand in the event it happens. There are some here in the forums who’ve activated kundalini without any yoga practice.
Good to read up and get information on K. Ultimately this energy teaches us to Let go.
[quote=“JR8036”]
I am just now curious as to why something like that is inside us
[/quote]It is half of your ticket to a state of wholeness and freedom - the greatest gift given to us humans and the only grace there is.
This energy must be treated with respect - misuse it and you’ll get into trouble. But awakened through a balanced practice, it will bring you rewards beyond anything you can imagine.
@ Dogboy,
thank you for the info. I have been doing little to no practice on k hoping it goes dormant for a while so i can prepare myself. Sounds like I might not have a choice in this. The only bad thing I can see is when I try to read up on k she stirs almost the whole time I read about it. Almost like she knows I am paying attention to her.
It’s a good idea to take some time off JR8036, till things quiet down.
It’s your bhakti that stirs up k when you read about spirituality. We need to apply self-pacing to that too. Perhaps if you spend a few weeks grounding yourself, you will be able to come back to some reading, keeping to a daily amount and not overdoing.
Either way, getting the right information is a necessary first step, however little practice you may decide to do in future.
ok, my job fortunately has me outside for a lot of the day so that will not be a problem for me. My main problem is from what I hear I just need to surrender to k. there are times like right now I do not want it to happen and then there are times that I am totally for it especially if it helps me.
And sounds like I just need to take my mind off this subject for a while but, that is hard to do when it almost seems like k is directing my life in a way with what I do. As long as its reasonable and I know its right I will fallow it.
I guess I just need somebody to talk to with knowledge about this. I have been hesitant to mention this to anybody in real life about it because it is such a taboo subject and seems like not many people would know anything about it.
This is a normal phase when we start this journey.
You have come to the right place. You can share your experiences here. Best to share it with like minded people. Totally normal if you want to share it with everyone in the beginning. 
As you walk further down this path, the need to talk about it disappears. Stillness speaks without you saying a word. Enjoy your journey- it’s the best part of this process. It’s an intimate relationship between you and the divine. You are on your way to transforming from a human doing to a human being. 
Here is the link to all the lessons. Put your feet up and dive in. 
http://www.aypsite.org/MainDirectory.html
Thank you I have read several all ready.
For the last year or so before I had anything like this happened to me I could sense a change. Was it k warning me of the change before it even all happened? Who knows it might have bean. Just wish I had dotted the lines when I sensed that.
Just hope I don’t sound like a total mess like the other stories I have read.
Yes, it’s the call to go within.
Not at all. Starting/Keeping a journal will help.[OM]