hello paravati9
thank u for sharing and welcome to the forums 
Thankyou for the welcome maheswari.
Does Nisargadatta present a dark and almost depressing reality? (as OP says) Maybe to some he does. He can be helpful to those who repeatedly come to the edge of the cliff and fail to make the leap. He’s like the cheerleader who stands with me and says, “you can do it, it really is so easy, it really is effortless. Just leap! Now go on…do it…there’s nothing stopping you and nothing to fear.”
The LEAP is simply jumping into the loving arms of your Real Self. For me the leap is taking a flying jump through all the barriers between me and the Divine. Don’t go around the obstacle; go straight through it. This takes enormous clarity of intent and focused energy. Nisargadatta cuts through my foolishness in a way that delivers me to the leap. You can’t leap while carrying a load of baggage. Nisargadatta helps you see that your baggage is useless so that you can release it and then work on what matters - focusing your intent.
So what Nisargadatta does for me is he reveals in a way I can clearly see—that all the obstacles I continually put inbetween me and God—they aren’t real. You know, they are all in my imagination.
But before you can get to that point, you need to distinguish between what is real and what isn’t real. This is essentially what occured for me in the samadhi described above.
There comes a point of no return. You become committed and married to the path for better or worse and there is no going back to the comfort zone of being completely asleep. You may keep on running toward pleasure and away from pain. But after awhile you see it isn’t working.
When you realize what you’ve always done isn’t working, then you’re ripe to listen to the teacher. I can see that Nisargadatta isn’t perfect for everyone. But he sure cut through all my excuses, rationalizations, hesitations, etc. When he says leap - I am inspired to leap just because he said to do it. I guess that means I trust him.
It may take some time for the right teacher to draw you near. You have to make it clear to the universe what you want. Once you do so, the right teacher will be able to find you, guaranteed.
Hi Parvati9,
Welcome to the forums.
Your words and writing are deeply inspiring and resonate profoundly here. Thanks so much for sharing. Looking forward to more from you.
Love,
kami
Thankyou very much kami for the warm welcome.
Hi Parvati9, and welcome to the forums.
Very much enjoy your writing, and wish to hear again from your experiences, and thoughts on other discussions. It is insightful, and inspiring.
I have read about others who have encountered (perhaps through clairvoyance) a guru that they later recognized as Ramana Maharshi. I don’t recall the author in one case, but he said it was an ongoing occurrence when he was just an infant. Such recollection is impressive at such early ages, maybe as much as direct access to memories of past lives.
Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj also asserted that guidance will be provided to everyone “from within.”
“When a gnani joins the universal mind,
all his goodness and wisdom become the heritage of humanity
and uplift every human being” (I Am That, p. 89).
It emphasizes the importance of both becoming ripe (integrity, meditation, purification…) and of passing it on like the saying here at AYP about candles lighting candles.
AumNaturel thankyou for the welcome and positive feedback, also for the reference p.89 which I looked up.
For me, I AM THAT is a spiritual treasure worth far more than the material cost.
Welcome Parvati.
You are the key to your own lock.
Haha. Thankyou Karl.
Is that a variation on ‘the guru is in you’?
former post deleted
It is with regret that I found it necessary to cancel the post.
Some things are too personal to share publicly.
namaste
parvati
Go on, put it back 
there are many times when I have been embarrassed and uncomfortable with my writings. I have posted and then felt like I had betrayed something and exposed myself. I learned it is best to just ‘hang it out there’ we are all striving and no one is any different to anybody else. Go on and jump in, mess up, get embarrassed there is only you to care
Karl, do none of the contradictory statements of a claimed jnani tarnish your view of him?
For instance, in one part he says there is no such thing as purpose only randomness – in fact he has an entire protracted conversation telling a questioner that there is no such thing as purpose. Then, in another conversation he says: “Let each act according to his nature. The ultimate purpose will be served in any case.”
It is difficult to have faith in the validity of such a person when they seem a liar.
What I love about Nisargdatta maharaj is that he is a pure non dual person. He is a gyani and imparting this awareness to all. There can't be any purpose of an illusion rather than keeping our awareness away from the true nature. He is talking about that. Also when he talks about ultimate purpose or principle, it points to the ultimate truth always.
Amazing poem, I enjoyed reading it.