Hi Monu,
you are right, it is difficult to help somebody you don’t know at all, with a practice that is different from yours, with symptoms that are very different from what you experience etc. I can only share my own experiences, and for me, shifting focus away from the ‘drama’ in the mind (sometimes triggered by experiences with Kundalini) has helped in the past.
My mind loves drama and stories and engages in it as soon as an opportunity is presented. I noticed when I fed this drama with my attention it grew and grew, so focussing on something else helped to keep it in check. In time this was not necessary any more since the need to engage in the stories was replaced by simple observing of the mind at play.
As for the story with the girl; I’ve had dozens of friends at that age who struggled with exactly the same things you describe. Some do still. But in their cases it has noting to do with Kundalini. It is so easy for us to blame someone or something else for our miseries and misfortunes, while in reality it is the ‘I’ who orchestrates all this. Having a critical look at our behaviours in this way can be a blessing, since it is only yourself you have more or less control over.
Anyways, maybe someone else can share their experiences, since I have the feeling mine don’t really resonate with you (and that is fine btw.). Hope you will find yourself in more stable circumstances soon.
Unlucky Im in love ,when im in such deep shit :P.
And Thankyou Medea , I have one such problem just like u. the problem being Im so attached to being an example and to being sad . I am attached to the rockstar feel . I mean ur a sucess but ur personal life is zero . that thing attracts me so much haha . but , im nt blaming it on kundalini its just hardluck .Its just that kundlini has magnified my emotions and mood swings so much . I want to be lot more cool . and as u suggest I will look into myself
Hi,
Just wanted to say thanks for this topic. This thread has been really useful for me — I reached a point of total overload recently (non AYP practices) and it took me a little while to realise that it was largely the bhakti and related subtle thoughts (a kind of informal samyama) that had precipitated the overload.
What was interesting was a) only recognising just how far this had fueled the overload in hindsight; and b) recognising that those kinds of subtle thought and intent continue just as strongly outside the formal ‘practice’ time. Seems obvious now, but I sure didn’t realise that til recently!
It was only when things got pretty severe that I finally allowed myself to jettison a whole load of stuff. At one point it wasn’t even a conscious choice — but subconsciously there was a rebellion from deep within, as if to say “drop that now; it’s too much”.
I’ve educated myself a bit on the kundalini process since, and it seems there are so many different angles and recommendations, but one aspect I find myself still pondering. Which is: is it better to stabilise and smooth things to proceed gradually, or take a leap and jump into the fear? Ultimately I think it is down to individual circumstances, but right now I’m not even sure how much is down to choice of the ‘individual’ anyway…
I know it was meant for monu but I can relate a lot to what Namath and Medea said. Seems like some of us are inherently drawn to the drama, or the intense devotion, the heroic journey; get 3rd degree burns… but then return for more, like a moth to a flame…
I’m grateful this forum exists, thanks everyone and I hope monu you are on the way to doing better with your process. If things are really hot and claustrophobic, and you find yourself simply unable to cease devotional thoughts and feelings, one possibility might be to devote your devotion to the boundless spaciousness and emptiness aspects of divinity?
I don’t know if that would fit your practices and path, but I’m thinking of when Tibetan buddhists spend painstaking hours building beautiful sand mandalas, only to wipe them clean upon completion. There may be a lot of wisdom and relief in that.