Carson this is something different than i was talking about for miguel. But yes I notice much of the same thing also but I think not as bad. When it starts I turn my attention to something else.
But for miguel, the first part is about wondering if you are gay; I have gone through this same thing. It comes from having a strong feminine side and feeling a kinship with gay guys because they do too. But if you examine it closer, you can tell the difference. it is quite common for a hetero man to have a little gay feeling and not be gay. For instance, I am hetero, but if guy takes his shirt off who is very buff, my heart will beat faster, and i will feel “Wow, that guy looks good.”
But i don’t have a sexual attraction to him. I don’t like looking at gay porno, and don’t get aroused hugging a gay guy. That’s how you can tell. I still hug gay guys though, and it doesn’t bother me.
The other issue is about needing people too much and trying to be more secure within yourself. Here is a motivation to be tougher with people: It is a huge turn-on for women when you are secure.
It is built into them hormonally to be attracted to secure men.
This is the reason women stay with men who abuse them. It is also the reason women are attracted to men who treat them badly. And it is the reason they are attracted to sports stars, politicians, rich men etc. All the same thing; they think they are more secure with themselves, and so therefore would be better mates for procreating.
Here’s the good news: Men like us with a sensitive side are actually much better for women if we learn to be secure with ourselves. We treat them better and understand them better.
The funny thing is, the big ego guys who act so secure are actually less secure than us usually. But they have learned to act secure because they know they are better accepted that way. It’s all a big show.
So we need to learn to act that way too for more acceptance, but we can do it for real instead of faking it. We can be secure from a spiritual foundation which is real, and build our personality off of that. Meditation is the foundation, and then you decide what kind of person you want to be and create that.
wow ether! 
I felt much identifyed whith your words!
Yes,altought im not gay ,i think that i feel great conection with gays.I think they are more sensible persons and maybe better persons,with a more open hearth.I feel it in that way.
And i like very much girls,but when i look one girls who i like,i get insecure,like asking for her permission for getting "mambo 
" with her.The girl look this as insecurity (it is),and i became his little dog.She rules the situation,in my case,totally.And no kiss,no sex.Only a close and lovely little friend.Andd for me side,i feel agressive “asking” for sex with girls.I feel agressive.I onl can give sex with love,not only sex like other guys do.And maybe this is good (to be a lovely friend),but me,like a man,I feel a castrated boy in that situations.Not complete a man.
It always leaves me with great disatisfaction and frustrating feeling.
They (girls) dont like for sex ONLY a lovely man.They want the masculine side of men too.Boys with big feminine side atract them,but as a close friend.
And for ther side,when i like a girl,i look around afraid of other guys atracted for that girl.I ask for the permisson of other guys too.
Love 
Yes, sensitive guys should find a woman to love. Casual sex isn’t very good anyway, and ultimately a tantric partner is best spiritually.
but just a hint about women:
You should not ask for permission to have sex. Women’s minds do not work like ours. Their sexual attraction is a feeling in their body, and they follow their feelings. If you talk about it, it makes an unnatural connection for them and breaks the charm.
You can joke about sex, but don’t talk about it being between you and her. Don’t act so easy.
Women like you to show them a range of different feelings, not intellectual words like men do.
Then if they are close to you and trying to look sexy, just kiss them without asking, and see where it goes. You have to act like you don’t care if they reject you.
And sometimes they will even reject you and not mean no forever. They are testing to see how secure you are, so just ignore it and act normal.
You have to watch women and see how they react to things. They don’t think like men at all, and it won’t make any sense to you, but you can learn what they want. Just don’t expect it to be logical!
They make decisions based on feelings, not logic. And if you try to analyze their feelings with logic, it pushes them away.
Damn women! Always playing “games” 
Thanks ether You are answering all my questions perfectly.
im agree with you.
I know Carson is joking - none of it is intentional; that’s the way women are. It is a perfect compliment to the way men are.
Yes of course…I am joking. Hence the face at the end instead of the 
face I usually do
Love,
Carson
Guys, help me understand myself here.
When I read this stuff on how we are supposed to be this, do this, women want this, you’ve got to be this kind of man, etc…
I feel anger.
Like… why should I contort myself to what a ‘woman wants’??
Like, banging head against a brick wall. Sickness in the solar plexus!
Jack,i understand you.I felt all that anger in the past,that toughts…
I dont know what to say to you exactly…
In this world we cant have all that we want in the way we want…we need to open our selfs to others,and sometimes we have to do things we dont like…but they like that things.
they do it too for us…
Im sure you like others doing things for you that maybe they dont like to do in that moment.The market of the world,it works in this way…its not a bad thing,i think…maybe im sure it could be better,but always there is something better,if you can offer it,work for it and the world will be a little a better place.
Look for something that can help you getting free all that anger accumulated in solar plexus.It is caused by past circumstances in our lifes.If you are taking now contact with it,it means the healing process is beginning.Then you will look the world with other pint of view.
There are lot of tools can help us.
Good luck.
Yes Jack, that is one way of looking at it, and there is absolutely no reason to try to change yourself to accomodate what other people want. That is assuming you have everything you want from life, and are perfectly happy.
What I was writing about is for people who are frustrated and aren’t getting what they want out of life. And in particular guys who have problems communicating and dealing with women.
Why would someone want to change themselves to communicate better with others? because differences in biology and environment we grew up in cause people to have different world views. It is helpful to be able to see the world the way other people see it. This gets rid of the frustration of dealing with people you don’t understand.
So it is not so much about the need to change yourself for other people.
But what it is about is understanding how women see the world. The kind of reactions Miguel and many other men have, are uncomfortable because sensitive guys try to change themselves to please women. They do this because of a desire to be close to women. But they sabotage themselves because they are acting from a logical perspective. This is natural for men but not women.
So if you are sensitive and are trying to change yourself so women will like you, then you need to understand how they see the world. That doesn’t come naturally for men.
From a yoga perspective, this can be applied to dealing with people in general. if you are the kind of person who is liked by everyone, and people reach out to communicate with you, then don’t change.
But if you constantly have probelms communicating with people, are not well liked, and if you are frustrated with the way other people see the world, then it would benefit everyone if you look into the reasons. It’s a kind of self inquiry, and makes life more peaceful and fun.