difficulties getting close

[Katrine (Katrine Kristiansen)]

Hi emc

quote:

Yes…have these insights made you calmer? Here…when something is found to be true…the residue of truth is always increased calmness…something is let go of. And in the letting go…there is completeness. Wholeness. It is a paradox that…
Is there a… relaxation…because you have found his insights to be true?

Are you kidding? It’s a… what was the word David_obsidian taught me… a no-brainer. Did you drown in love when meeting Amma? We know when we meet Truth and Love, don’t we? The inner calmness, wholeness and absolute clarity growing from having been with Bernie for these years is beyond words.

Sorry if I offered you a “no-brainer” emc…that was certainly not the intention here It was the “It’s true there is a deep inner longing of some kind to “close the cirquit” as I express it. I admit the interpretation of that longing is based on Bernie’s insights, which I have found to be very true so far” that I mistakenly read as you meaning that it took joining with a man for you to best grow that way. Bernie speaks a lot about man and woman…so you are absolutely right…I assumed you ment that a man is essential for your spiritual growth. Sorry for that misunderstanding

quote:

It is just like the desperate longing for THAT…the wanting of the loving light…it is the letting go of the wanting… that brings the light…it comes of itself then…this is the experience…again and again. It is the same with man…if he is totally let go of…then he is here…also when he isn’t.

Yes. It is the same way here! Beautiful, isn’t it? There’s only longing for an outer man when it’s forgotten who He really is!

Yes. It is very beautiful
Here…if there is longing for an outer man…it is because I have forgotten who I really am .

The “wanting in the heart”… not sure what you mean here either. Are you talking about bhakti? Finally letting go of bhakti?

The wanting in the heart is an emotional pull to that which i am attracted to. Not sexual desire…not bhakti…but the kind of pull that leads to attachment and restlessness in heart. It is like the difference between a peak orgasm and a valley orgasm. The first is a build up that requieres movement…the second is coming out of total stillness.
When the heart is calm…the love comes of itself…whether man is here…or not.
I may have been totally off here, emc…regarding what you are describing in this post. If so…I apologize. Just disregard it
It is just that the “difficulties getting close”…when the kriyas act up like that in the described setting…it made me wonder if maybe the “need for a man”…the emotional need… had to be transcended.
emc to Christi:

Gosh, I’m waiting for the day when the kriyas end… 3,5 years of vigorous kriyas… must be a gigantic garbage dump in there since the energies are on full gas and has been since the start and there’s still so much blockages…

Well…the size of the “dump” matters not …LOL…and yours is certainly not worse than any others. Including this stubborn Norwegian. And who are we to assess, right? A lot of noise and scenery is just that.
Luckily…there can be many enlightened moments…no matter how stubborn…how big a garbage dump…it matters not…in a moment of truth
I wish you a full circle of the moment, emc

[emc]

Yes,

@Katrine

I mistakenly read as you meaning that it took joining with a man for you to best grow that way. Bernie speaks a lot about man and woman…so you are absolutely right…I assumed you ment that a man is essential for your spiritual growth. Sorry for that misunderstanding

No need to be sorry. I can understand where it comes from. I’m not always easy to read since I jump from high to low in a very chaotic way… Deep insights mixed with shallow mind… former realizations and awakenings described from a present mind state… not easy to tell where I’m coming from. I do appreciate your input - it almost always puts me in touch with something important, although not always in the way you suggest.
What I clearly SEE/KNOW/AM when being with Bernie (and merging with his consciousness so to speak), is that he - as most masters - talks about That/pure awareness, how it becomes two - formless consciousness (He) appearing as form/existence (She) and how that duality is manifested as Man and Woman, the two genders on Earth. I see the pulsation of consciousness wanting to go Home and rest, going towards Zero all the time (BEING), and the consciousness coming out from Source constantly manifesting New in every Now, going out in duality as Life (BECOMING). The pulse is there, also after realization. The pulse out is in Yogani’s words the “outpouring divine love”, manifesting new forms in existence in ways we hardly comprehend since everything is ultimately One. (Think Chaos theory - one butterfly flapping it’s wing may create a tsunami somewhere else. One being pouring out love may affect spreading of diseases, wars etc etc far away from us.)
The tantric practice of meeting in flesh for the non-realized beings is one of many ways to Go Home. However, going Home or even Being Home doesn’t close the circuit, the way I see it - we can be Home as That and be very happy and never make love again, but the circuit is not closed then…(possibly this is not at all what Bernie says, but my faulty idea from a distorted mind… it’s just what I see…) it’s not closed until conscious matter meets conscious matter in Flesh in duality. There is tremendous power in the penis and the vagina also after realization - as long as we have a body - and since the journey has no end, we can always go deeper through the tantric path… the pulse of consciousness going Home is ever deepening - it won’t be “satisfied” until the Whole Existence is Conscious so that the Two can Go Home fully and totally - that’s where Consciousness is going… (Yogani says sometimes that a realized being knows it’s not fully realized until all beings are realized). And the pulse OUT from Source again… the waves in consciousness affecting the whole creation and most certainly other beings is enormous when closing that circuit - imagine the pulse out, the outpouring love, the evolution of Consciousness in Existence when top of penis meets entrance of the womb and symbolically closes the circuit on every level… So One couple making physical True Love (conscious lovemaking) in flesh CREATES enormous things in that symbolical act of lovemaking… Stillness in Action… The continuous tantric meeting is about Consciousness evolving… eternally… Manifested individualized beings making love is a very powerful tool for consciousness to fulfill it’s purpose and passion… The view (whether correct or not) I have after having spent time with Bernie is quite far from my personal need to go home… It’s about the New Earth being Created by That.

The wanting in the heart is an emotional pull to that which i am attracted to. Not sexual desire…not bhakti…but the kind of pull that leads to attachment and restlessness in heart. It is like the difference between a peak orgasm and a valley orgasm. The first is a build up that requieres movement…the second is coming out of total stillness.
When the heart is calm…the love comes of itself…whether man is here…or not.
I may have been totally off here, emc…regarding what you are describing in this post. If so…I apologize. Just disregard it
It is just that the “difficulties getting close”…when the kriyas act up like that in the described setting…it made me wonder if maybe the “need for a man”…the emotional need… had to be transcended.

On the journey, this egoic emotionality is definitely also something that I’m working with! I would be a fool to deny it’s there to some extent. Although I currently believe it’s mostly purely energy overload creating the kriyas, your posts have made me inquire more deeply into this emotional wanting… and the impatience. Thanks!
I’m like Venice… built on a garbage dump… slowly sinking… into the Ocean… Or… darn it’s the Mediterranian Sea…? Does that count for an Ocean?