Hello Anthem
I hope you will not mind having a years old post being brought up again. I stumbled across it in a critique to AYP somebody posted on some other website, then I went and found it in the forum.
I am really curious how your sensitivity to practice evolved since. Have you built up your sitting practices again? Or have you found another way to develop spiritually? I can see from your recent posts that you are still very much on the path.
Sorry if I’m barging in.
Hi Blueraincoat,
You are not barging in at all, your timing was good, this is my first visit here for a little while.
I have not done regular sitting practices for 3 years now but opening to the greater reality continues in a similar way as always. It is not to say that I never will practice formally again, life may take me back that way at some future point, I am open to it. The last time I tried formal sitting practices, it detracted from balance, increasing energy above balance and pulling the mind out of full engagement in the here and now. So the same result.
Being present in the here and now, happens throughout the day and that seems to be enough for now. Increasing surrender as the mind becomes aware of resistance, is an ongoing process for me as well.
My path for the last few years has been to follow life's lead, everything I need in order to open is brought in the way of daily life experience. The separation from the so-called spiritual and the daily dream (story) is slight at best. So the path is to just live and experience and see with the inner eye.
If you are wondering if AYP works, I believe it was a significant help on my path. I also don't see oversensitiity (to the point of not being able to do any practices) as any indication that it doesn't work. If anything, it is an indication that it has done its work and is no longer needed, and something else that is then needed will eventually come along. All the practice I did eventually became enough. In my case, there was no avoiding what life wanted me to experience, so at a certain point, practices lost their effectiveness and life had to be fully lived and engaged in and that included the full human (energy) experience in order to carry on.
All aspects of life embraced and experienced without resistance and then you will know the truth of what Is, if you are truly looking.
I Should also add that it is any meditation practice that I can no longer do, not just AYP. One Om is enough for the head to burn for a few hours. My opinion is that AYP gives a great foundation of increased silence and can pave a path through the multitude of distractions that block knowing what you are but no system can bypass the need to really live the path life has set out for you and shouldn’t be expected to.
Life will make it clear what’s needed eventually. That said, the value of being constsient with the practices over the long term until it is clear they no longer benefit can not be over stated in my opinion.
Thank you Anthem. Your detailed reply is much appreciated.
I was in fact wondering what has been happening to your inner silence - if it’s still going - or growing? - since you stopped meditation. Also is it possible to get to a point where you don’t need to spend time with yourself to smooth out any ruffled feathers (as life certainly does ruffle mine and meditation is a great help in that way). Maybe you can do that on the hoof?
No, I don’t really have doubts about AYP - as much as it is possible to be without doubts about anything. Many years ago I took a somewhat similar step - stopped regular yoga practice and said ‘life will be my teacher’. here the similarity with your story stops however - for me it was not because I did not longer need the practice, but because I discovered serious flaws in that particular method and lost trust in that teacher. I badly missed yoga after that. My inner silence lasted some good years afterwards but then started to dwindle. When I finally found Yogani I was pretty desperate.
In short, I was simply curious if it is possible to bring the inner silence to a point where you won’t lose it again even if you stop meditating.
Thank you again for sharing your experience.
Hi BlueRaincoat,
I can’t answer for Anthem (although in my personal meetings with him he has always, even after quitting meditation, seemed “well-endowed” with inner silence ), but for me inner silence has not diminished but only continued to grow “post-meditation.” I stopped meditating formally for a little over a year and a half ago now, for the same or similar reasons as Anthem, but so far there has been no discernable decrease in “inner silence.” But perhaps I am just less “clear” now and unable to notice my own lack of inner silence.
Love,
Carson
Hi Christi,
I don’t buy much into reasons, which from my point of view are made up after the fact to explain the unexplainable but aside from that, sort of would be the best answer. I don’t practice anything in a daily ritualistic way (other than paying attention and noticing arisings) and feel no need to do grounding practices in particular because for the most part, I always feel very grounded unless I engage in sitting practices.
Is there activity in my life that would fall under the accepted definition of grounding? Yes, many hours of exercise each week, being very engaged in the body, walking in nature when needed etc.
Yes, stillness continues to come into more and more areas of my living. As for smoothing out the “ruffled feathers”. If meditation helps you smooth things out and it is working for you then that is all that matters. I am with my self in every moment, there is really no escaping it, so I just “listen” internally to what I am being shown in that moment.These days it is mostly important to feel all that arises on the emotional/energy spectrum and to stay present with it. That may be unique to my path and may not apply to others.
First, just to be specific, I have never said I don’t need the practices, I simply can no longer do the practices as directed. I have no idea what I need, that is Life’s domain.
In regards to finding serious flaws in another method, I can appreciate a natural desire on your part to be sure about what you are jumping into.
Inner silence is our natural state. Distractions can fool us into thinking we have lost it, but it is always there. Meditation from my point of view is coming to stillness and in my experience, after many years of formal set sitting practices, it spread into all areas of life of its own accord, so yes knowing that stillness is always there even without extra formal sitting meditation practices.
This need to stop formal meditation practice was my experience and wasn’t by choice but by necessity, I have no idea what the right way is for anyone else.
I wish you all the best, your sincerity will lead you in the right direction. And if that fails, pain will make sure you eventually get back on track.
Hi Christi,
I don’t buy much into reasons, which from my point of view are made up after the fact to explain the unexplainable but aside from that, sort of would be the best answer. I don’t practice anything in a daily ritualistic way (other than paying attention and noticing arisings) and feel no need to do grounding practices in particular because for the most part, I always feel very grounded unless I engage in sitting practices.
Is there activity in my life that would fall under the accepted definition of grounding? Yes, many hours of exercise each week, being very engaged in the body, walking in nature when needed etc.
Hi Anthem,
If you cannot engage in formal sitting practices because of symptoms arising, this would suggest that you are undergoing a high degree of purification. I would say that self-pacing to zero is the right thing to be doing, and as you say, you don't have any choice anyway. :slight_smile:
When purification is happening at this level, simply being present with the witness (inner silence) can increase the flow of prana to the point where purification continues to happen even without sitting practices. In other words simply being present in stillness can keep you on the cutting edge of purification for quite a long time. In my experience it is a stage on the path and does not last forever. Gradually the nadis become purified and can take a much higher charge of prana and you will be able to engage in sitting practices again if you want to.
The reason I asked about grounding practices is because when purification is happening at that level it is important to stay grounded. In my experience some forms of exercise are grounding whereas other forms can actually increase the flow of prana in the body and accentuate kundalini. Activities such as running and cycling and other fast sports will tend to fall into the category of stimulating kundalini whereas things such as walking or digging in the garden tend to be more grounding and less stimulating.
Christi
Hi Anthem and Carson
Thank you both for your answers and for putting my mind at rest. It is really great news that your inner silence is continuing to expand. “Well endowed with inner silence” is what we want, isn’t it? It may seem, at first sight, to a yoga practitioner that your experiences point to a worrying prospect i.e. spiritual practice hitting a wall, but is is not that, it’s just a different spiritual practice. I’m really happy to know it.
I wish you great progress on your spiritual paths and thank you again for taking the time to answer my questions.
By the way, Anthem, is your user name anything to do with “Ring the bells that still can ring/Forget the perfect offering…” Is it that “Anthem” that inspired your choice of name?
Hi Christi,
Thanks for sharing your perspective. You never know, time will tell. I let go of meditation only with great resistance, but have come to be very content with this current path Life has devised.
Hi BlueRaincoat,
It wasn’t, but I like the words. It’s hard to remember now, but it had something to do with recognizing that each of our stories is like an anthem of Life.
A
hello Anthem and others who experience overloads easily.
I have a question for you: was malaise due to overloading more common in the morning (say between 8 am and noon time or 2pm)?
In my case mornings are problematic, there is dizziness, nausea, anxiety, light-headedness on occasion, reduced motor control (body feels light and weak, also steps are unstable), blood pressure is probably not right, all the while these symptoms are mixed with deep absorption in ajna.
As the pitta timeframe transitions to vata (2-3pm) malaise goes away and I feel much, much better… then around 6-7pm ajna gets out of control again, causing mild nausea, reduced motor control and unblinking gaze but the symptoms are much more manageable compared to the morning. The most symptom free time is nights after 8pm.
Does this sound familiar or it’s just me?
Why are mornings so problematic, any insights?
Hi sn19
Sounds like massive overload. Have you reduced practices since you’ve been experiencing this? You need to do a lot of grounding, maybe take a break from sitting practices for a few weeks.
Best wishes
thanks for the reply.
No, I foolishly increased practice intensity because of the morning malaise which made it worse, only now am beginning to reduce/stop practices.
I would take a good break from mantra meditation and any energy work if I were in your position. Spend time outdoors, get fit, ground, socialize.
When I get overloaded (and I don’t get anything quite as serious as you’ve described above), the only thing I still do is passive awareness meditation. Getting the overload symptoms witnessed seems to help me.
What do you normally do to ground yourself?
), but for me inner silence has not diminished but only continued to grow “post-meditation.” I stopped meditating formally for a little over a year and a half ago now, for the same or similar reasons as Anthem, but so far there has been no discernable decrease in “inner silence.” But perhaps I am just less “clear” now and unable to notice my own lack of inner silence. 
It may seem, at first sight, to a yoga practitioner that your experiences point to a worrying prospect i.e. spiritual practice hitting a wall, but is is not that, it’s just a different spiritual practice. I’m really happy to know it.