AYP for Recovery

Blog #59: Pink Floyd and the Dark Side
http://ayprecovery.org/blog-59-pink-floyd-and-the-dark-side/
I remember first hearing the song “Time” on Pink Floyd’s album The Dark Side of the Moon. I thought: Oh boy, now this is different. And it was most definitely different, especially in comparison to other pop music I had been exposed to as a child and young adolescent.
The introduction alone is captivating. It begins with the faint ticking of antique, grandfather clocks that soon explode into a cacophony of chimes and high-pitched ringing. Then come the roto-toms with their crisp, hollow thumps, interspersed with the long, drawn-out notes of electric bass and guitar, not to mention the sparkles from the Wurlitzer piano and Farfisa organ that accent the meandering solo of the drums.
Finally, the first verse emerges: “Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day. You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way. Kicking around on a piece of ground in your hometown. Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.”
Boom! The malaise and disillusionment of modern man is perfectly captured against a backdrop of exquisitely crafted percussion and melody. Musical genius at its best! I immediately related to the sentiment.
Ironically, getting stoned and watching The Wizard of Oz in timed synchronization with the tracks from The Dark Side of the Moon wasn’t exactly answering the deeper questions itching in my mind. My sojourn into psychedelics was at times euphoric and glamorous, but it was mostly dull and taxing on my nervous system.
A little more than a decade after first smoking pot and listening to Pink Floyd—when I sobered up—I stumbled upon some words not too dissimilar from the aforementioned opening lines of “Time”. But the new message I had found contained much more hope and optimism than the dreary echoes of the legendary British band. The fresh, digital lesson I had tapped into offered an invitation and a challenge to surge ahead into new territory. Here is what it said:

I was hooked instantly. There was no way I could turn away from chasing the carrot that was dangling in front of my face. Even today, five years after first reading that lesson, I’m still on fire, and even more so than originally. The bhakti is all-consuming.
In a couple months I’ll be starting school to get a massage therapy license. It’s not something I would have predicted pre-AYP. But the power of touch is calling, and inner silence is moving me to walk through a new door. Let’s see what happens.
“And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear, you shout and no one seems to hear. And if the band you’re in starts playing different tunes, I’ll see you on the dark side of the moon.”

[quote]
In a couple months I’ll be starting school to get a massage therapy license.
[/quote] :slight_smile:

Beautiful blog :pray:

:heart: Charlie-D :heart:

Nice, Bodhi. Good Luck with massage school.[OM]. My cousins would listen to Pink Floyd growing up and ended up listening with them.

Thank you, sunyata! Shine on. [OM]

Blog #60: Shedding Light on DJ Shadow
http://ayprecovery.org/blog-60-shedding-light-on-dj-shadow/
Being totally addicted to Deep Meditation, I’m not a big fan of guided meditations involving external cues. When the mind has to stay focused on something on the outside, it robs one of the opportunity to plunge deep into consciousness and explore the obscured layers hidden underneath. With Deep Meditation, the cue is the unspoken mantra uttered by our own inner voice, and that implicitly turns our gaze inward, to where the heart of stillness resides.
That being said, I certainly understand why some people choose guided meditations to pick up a little serenity. Also, I have a great love for ambient music and transcendental lyrics that soothe the soul. For instance, there is a powerful song by DJ Shadow called “Blood on the Motorway”.
The song begins with a piping church organ and an ethereal voice that echoes with the proclamation: “And now…eternity…” Then, a more subtle piano begins playing simple chords at a slow tempo, and a new voice enters the soundscape. It is the voice of a calm, reassuring man, and he says:
Be still now. I am with you. I am deep within you. You are at peace. You cannot be harmed. You will not suffer.
Breathe deeply. Breathe in the healing love of the universe, and breathe out the sickness which has taken you. I am with you.
I definitely get plenty of ecstatic goosebumps when that part creeps in. The words are profound, and his tone of voice resonates with a sturdy and genuine timbre. His healing guidance also reminds me of a peripheral AYP technique called heart breathing, in which the inhalation and exhalation of breathing are used to draw in the chosen ideal and release obstructions (see AYP Plus for more details).
Anyway, the song changes course, and another voice chimes in—this time with much more gusto and exaltation:
You have not betrayed your ideals. Your ideals betrayed you. What are you going to do?
Your eyes will not close. Your tongue barely speaks. But I can still feel you. I can still feel you.
So come, come relax. Grin. Let the changes in. Come on, come relax.
Grin. Let the laughter, let the laughter, let the laughter begin.
Grin, let the changes in.
Grin, let the changes in.

Alas, the instrumental chorus and synthesizer explode into a break-dancing kind of rhythm, and DJ Shadow’s drumming pumps plenty of exuberance and joy into the final plateau of the tune as it fades away and tapers off into silence. It’s one of my favorites, by far. I highly recommend it.
But I want to highlight the last part of the verse…the mention of an ideal betraying its aspirant. This is very important. The ideal we choose will shape our path. If the ideal is shallow and lacking deep substance—like drugs, alcohol, or the pursuit of money for its own sake—then we will definitely hit a wall and find ourselves in a trap. However, if the chosen ideal is imbued with essences of ecstatic bliss, stillness in action, and an outpouring of divine love, then we are bound for success.
So, choose wisely, and relax. Grin. Let the changes in. :sunglasses:

Blog #61: Why I Love The Ego
http://ayprecovery.org/blog-61-why-i-love-the-ego/
The word “ego” is a Latin word literally meaning “I”. Therefore, in the simplest, purest denotation of the word, “ego” means the individual self. The prime indicator of an individual self on the Earth is the body, which is a composite, animated form of matter that is easily distinguishable from empty space or other objects in the surrounding environment. Every single individual is totally unique, just like their fingerprints, though there are a plethora of shared commonalities between all individuals.
When “spiritual awakening” occurs in an individual, the person begins to directly perceive that their “self” is composed of more (and in some sense, less) than their individual, Earth body. They begin to understand that every single person is connected, by a matter of degrees, and that all persons are manifesting from a unified source, commonly called God, or in AYP, pure bliss consciousness. This perception does not have to include an “out of body” experience, but can be more like looking in a mirror and seeing one’s universal self reflected everywhere.
What’s important to note is that the ego, like the body, has many functions, and those include functions within the mind. And what is the mind anyway? The mind is the inner machine and creative platform that helps the individual navigate the entirety of existence as an ego. One of the prime abilities of the mind is communication, which involves learning language and thereby discerning the qualities of diversity that are ever-present in life.
To communicate requires two voices: an internal voice, and an external voice. The internal voice occurs within the mind, whereas the external voice occurs when the mouth speaks and creates audible vibrations that travel through the air. The internal voice precedes the external voice in order of manifestation, or sequence. For instance, when a baby utters their first external word, it is only because they have first received and learned the language on the inside. Once the internal mind processes the information, then it can be expressed outwardly.
With the passage of time and conditioning, the internal and external voices of the ego can be occurring in different modes, either separately or simultaneously. There is a bandwidth, so to speak, that creates continuity, fluidity, and cohesiveness between the two. In a spontaneous conversation, the internal and external voices can be so closely glued together, that they can seem to be speaking as one. But in reality, the internal voice will still be preceding the external voice, if only for an indiscernible nano-second.
So, the ego voice inside the mind is only one function, or attribute, of the mind. There are many other attributes of the mind that don’t use words or verbal language, but instead use shapes, colors, images, emotions, feelings, concepts, and so much more.
The tricky part is that the inner awareness of an individual, which is fundamentally silent at its core, can get overly glued to the inner voice of the ego, and in doing so, forget that the inner voice is merely an extension of the silence, occurring in tandem with the mind. Then the mind overly identifies with the ego voice, and loses track of the inner silence which is its foundation. Just like any structure, a solid foundation is absolutely necessary, and for the mind, that foundation is silent stillness.
For someone that has been overly glued to the inner voice, when they experience some detachment, or distance, from the voice, it can be a great relief. Sometimes the detachment is so dramatically relieving that the mind quickly identifies the ego voice as the culprit. This is a crucial mistake, and happens with spiritual aspirants and teachers worldwide. In reality, neither the ego nor the mind can be blamed. If there is anyone or anything to blame, it is the silent witness. That’s right, God has been playing a trick on Himself, Herself, and Itself all along, and that is the whole interplay in a nutshell.
What further complicates the problem of blaming the inner ego voice or the discerning mind is by using language to reinforce the punitive attitude. Here’s how that pitfall happens. The “ego” begins to take on a new context other than simply meaning a separate individual. The “ego” now gets cast and spun as meaning an individual that is negative and malevolently superior (or inferior) to others. The “ego” takes on meanings that should instead be linguistically reserved for personality characteristics, like arrogance, pride, and so on. Similarly, “the mind” gets insanely narrowed down to only one of its multitudinous functions, and that singular function is mistakenly referred to as “the mind”, when in reality, it is only a small fragment of the mind.
Imagine there is a basketball team called The Frost. The Frost have 20 active players on their roster. Out of that 20, there is one particular player who is especially vicious and notorious in the way he treats people. Inside, he has a dominant, wicked voice running in his mind, and outside, his spoken words are equally cruel. However, he scores lots of points and helps win games. One day, in his arrogance, he proclaims: “I am The Frost!” What he means is that he is the winning force behind the team, and so he greedily swallows the entire identity of the team with a twist of words. Sure enough, a journalist picks up on the gimmick and starts writing stories about “The Frost” as a player, and readers get confused between who is the team, and who is the individual. Alas, the power of language creates confusion and delusion.
And that is precisely the game that certain spiritual teachers play when they paint the ego or mind as enemies. They mistake the ultimate source of inner decision-making, and they inaccurately prosecute the two vastly, versatile vehicles of the ego and the mind. And why do they do this? To draw attention to themselves! That is the irony. (Irony is when something opposite of what is intended occurs. So, if the publicized intention is to downplay the individual, and the result is that the individual gets highlighted and amplified in the process, then that is irony.) They’re using a linguistic sleight-of-hand to be clever and proclaim victory over the ego and mind—all because they happened to fall into a small pocket of detachment inside. What a joke!
There is no intrinsic problem with ego, or with “I, me, and mine”. There is only a problem with the misuse and distortion of language. In reality, possessiveness is what becomes transformed and elevated in the process of spiritual awakening. When someone can say, with some level of sincerity: “All people on Earth are MY brothers and sisters; All people are MY fathers and mothers; All people are MY sons and daughters; All of life itself is ME…” then the egoic mind is properly expanding and coming into full maturity. The egoic mind is the instrument of enlightenment. There is none other. It has been designed this way, from the beginning.
To love another person is to love their ego of individuality. To blossom like a flower in full bloom is to enrich the ego’s uniqueness, even as it merges with the continuum of the whole.
If the anti-ego attitude was taken to its culmination, the only logical outcome would be suicide. For if your individual self, or your inner ego voice, or the mind, are the enemies, then it would make sense to kill them. But, that is the essence of insanity, and that is not in the direction of emulating and embodying eternal life.
Therefore, celebrate the ego, and recognize the power of language in doing so.

Hi Bodhi,
Very detailed post and well written. :pray:

It’s knowing instead of understanding.

Yes, it’s not the culprit but at the same time does not need more attention.

I don’t believe they are trying to draw attention. Simply expressing their reality.

It’s not the language but functioning from this point of view that has lead to a lot of problem that we see around us.

We can love everyone because of knowing the true nature. It’s okay to not be so attracted by certain personality traits even with knowing the true nature.

Letting the ego be as it is.
The realization here has been that it’s the identification with the ego that has been the root cause of suffering all this Life. Ego has not completely disappeared but it’s solidity is decreasing. It’s getting fluid.
Yes, there is a sense of this individual. However,Silence does not need anything to function in the world. Everything comes out of it. We don’t need the ego to decide anything for us.
Silence makes the choices and takes the appropriate action in the here now. No analysis, No thinking necessary. :pray: . It is noticed here that when functioning comes from the ego, there is disharmony in the body and the environment . When it comes from Silence, there is Joy in the body and the environment. The latter is when Life truely lives it’s creation through the body.
:heart:
Sunyata
P.S.- Yogani says that the ego is the vehicle to enlightenment and points us to tools like Samyama and Self Inquiry. The ego starts doing spiritual practices and some point uses the two techniques (Self Inquiry and Samyama) that helps let go and see through the ego. In this way, yes it is a vehicle. However, do not see the benefit in celebrating the ego. Just letting the ego be as it is. Silence is Celebration.

Remember, Sunyata, it’s a matter of denotation and connotation. In this case, I’m using ego in its purest definition, which means individual self. So, the ego, as individual self, gets illuminated by stillness in action, and the functionality of ego increases and improves, including its propensity towards meaningful analysis, intelligence, contemplation, conceptualization, creativity, and yes…active surrender.
I most certainly celebrate the ego, because I celebrate the self (individual and universal). As Walt Whitman wrote:
I celebrate myself and sing myself
And what I assume, you shall assume
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you
Also, there’s a fine line between loosening identification with the ego, and denying identification with the ego. Loosening identification by expanding through stillness leads to full enlightenment and an outpouring of divine love. Denying identification using non-duality logic leads to dissociation, the illusion of attainment, and being stuck in the witness stage (pre-unity).
And yes, I can love someone when I see their true nature, even if I don’t necessarily enjoy their personality that much. That’s why Jesus said: “Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you.” So, you make a good point on that note. :heart:

Reading the discussion between BT and Sunyata it is easy to see both are right it just really depends on the context one is placing the discussion of the ego in.
Sunyata: [quote]
Just letting the ego be as it is.
[/quote]Agreed.

Hi Bodhi,
This sums it beautifully. :heart:
Since we both don’t drink. Here is a water toast to celebrating the ego and letting the ego be as it is. :wink: :grin: :pray:

OK! Cheers! :grin:

renounce and enjoy …gandi :heart:

Blog #62: Inspiration, Motivation, and Intention
http://ayprecovery.org/blog-62-inspiration-motivation-and-intention/
Inspiration. Motivation. Intention. Three strong words. Let’s look at the etymology.
Inspiration is derived from the combination of a prefix and root word meaning “to breathe into”. Motivation comes from a Latin verb meaning “to move”. Intention translates as “to stretch towards”.
Of all three words, inspiration is perhaps the most spiritually-oriented term. It is often surrounded with events of greatness and profundity. If we again refer to its etymology of breathing, we can see that breathing life into something is obviously a fundamental miracle that points towards a divine origin. How did Michelangelo breathe life into his paint-soaked brushstrokes that depict the creation mythology of Christianity on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel? There is a bit of mystery in that source of inspiration. From nothing…comes something.
Motivation is usually more worldly and based on concrete goals and expectations. For instance, I was motivated to attend college and earn a degree, mainly because that’s what most of my peers were doing, and I also received decent scholarship money to show up (which I ended up squandering with heavy drinking and drug use, but that’s for another blog). Of course, motivation can be applied to spiritual situations and occurrences—it’s just more commonly used to describe happenings within the finite realm, where cause and effect are more visible.
Intention definitely has the most passive connotation of the set of words in question. What is intended often doesn’t come to pass. The word is fraught with outcomes of failure or disappointment. Last month, for example, per the insistence of a friend, I intended to read a neo-Advaita book in its entirety, but I had to stop halfway through, due to my own mental exhaustion and discontent with the abstract proclamations of the author. Also, intention is a good cop-out word. For God’s sake, you know, I never intended to wreck my car into an oncoming Mercedes Benz, but that’s what happened about thirteen years ago when the Xanax hi-jacked my motor skills.
In any case, with all three words, we are dealing in the realm of progress, which is moving from one place to the next, in the spirit of betterment and improvement. When it comes to progress, Yogani has said that enlightenment is a journey from here to here. Ultimately, it’s not so much about the length or distance we must travel, but rather what we manifest from within, and attract into our immediate field of Being. The outpouring of divine love transcends the boundaries of space and time.
So, I am inspired to build a local community around the baseline of AYP. I am motivated to instill the proper habits and take the action required to achieve the dream. And I am certainly intending to follow through, regardless of the obstacles that stand in my way.
Game on.
And, as Yoda said: “Do, or do not. There is no try.” [It’s more of a hearty challenge than an absolute ultimatum.] :wink:

Blog #63: My Trip to Los Angeles
http://ayprecovery.org/blog-63-my-trip-to-los-angeles/
I rented a car at the airport and drove to Bobby’s hangout in Venice called Muscle Beach, which is an oceanfront gym planted on the boardwalk amongst a multicultural sprawl of shops, eateries, street artists, mobile vendors, and a general potpourri of personalities that spill out from the epicenter of Los Angeles. Since he had no cell phone, Bobby assured me that I would nevertheless be able to find him at his home base in the sand, near the weight machines, pull-up bars, and various workout apparatuses.
Sure enough, as I strolled along the strip and enjoyed the cool breeze of the Pacific Ocean, I found Bobby in the sand pit, among his fellow fitness enthusiasts. We greeted each other with great excitement and smiles, and Bobby punctuated the moment by saying: “I can’t believe this is happening.” His face was spectacularly tan and looked heartily weathered by the California sun. He had also clearly been at the mercy of a certain kind of raw exposure—a kind of unsheltered intimacy, nurtured by radical coexistence with the wild elements of the West Coast. He had abruptly and unexpectedly gone from being immersed in a scholarly setting at a private university (Loyola Marymount), to a primal mode of day-to-day survival on the beach. Yet, his yoga and meditation practices remained daily and consistent (true signs of intense bhakti).
Bobby soon introduced me to two of his friends that were sitting on a bench along the periphery of the sand pit. Both were immigrants—one from Ireland, the other from Romania. The Romanian was a professional chef who had also recently done massage therapy in Martha’s Vineyard before coming out west in search of a warmer climate. The Irishman was a business graduate with a newfound desire to change the world. In a matter of minutes, our conversation touched upon topics like psychedelic, out-of-body experiences, to tantric, pre-orgasmic sex.
Not a bad start to my trip, considering that I had only hit the tarmac at LAX about an hour ago.
As the sun faded into the distant blue, orange horizon, we decided to walk around Venice and grab something to eat. Bobby gave me a running commentary of the scenery as we trodded along. There was a slightly unkempt man laying down on the sidewalk, and Bobby said: “That guy is a self-proclaimed Satanist who will answer any question you have for $1.” A moment later, a kid came skateboarding by and skidded to a grinding halt once he recognized my illustrious tour guide. They hugged, and the youngster reached into a brown paper bag and handed Bobby a sizable chunk of a pot brownie recently procured from a nearby medical marijuana dispensary.
We found a slightly upscale Chinese restaurant called Mao’s Kitchen. “Chinese country cooking with a red memory,” said the menu. While Bobby spoke fluent Spanish to one of the bus boys bringing us water, Josh (the Irishman) read me some of his favorite selections from the revered Irish poet William Butler Yeats. I listened intently, then responded in kind by rattling off an excerpt from Walt Whitman’s Song of Myself.
After dinner and plenty of jasmine tea, we headed back to the boardwalk. We came upon a couple of artists who were painting under the moonlight and the street lamps. One of them was covered with splatters of paint, even on his face and shaved head. He looked like Jackson Pollack had used his body as a canvas, with none of the epidermic regions left untouched. We started talking to him, exchanged hugs, and then he snatched a basketball from Josh’s hands and painted a nice little diamond shape on the worn leather. Moments later, a wandering yogi came upon us, and we all started doing asanas on the sidewalk as people passed and watched. After stretching, we conversed, and it turned out that the yogi was in recovery from intravenous, crystal meth addiction. He found great benefit in achieving natural highs with yoga, so I told him about AYP for Recovery. It was a hopeful and synchronistic conversation.
The next morning, Bobby, Josh, and I picked up Chas from the airport, and headed to the Self-Realization Fellowship Lake Shrine on Sunset Boulevard, which Yogananda built near the end of his life. The sky was overcast and raining with a soft, persistent drizzle.
We pulled into the parking lot entrance and were greeted by a timid but friendly man. “Sorry, the lot is full,” he said. Before I could respond, Bobby yelled from the backseat in roaring protest, with an impressively high decibel level: “We’re devotees of Paramahansa Yogananda!!” In a gentler, less Brooklyn-like tone, Chas quickly pointed to an empty space in the distance and said to the attendant, “What about there?” I just laughed and told the besieged fellow that we were serious meditators. He reluctantly waved us through, realizing that we would not back down so easily.
We meandered into the main temple, which sat high atop a hill overlooking a little lake populated by big ducks and royal-looking swans. A statue of Jesus stood on the peak of a waterfall that was cascading down the embankment. Inside the temple, a Sunday service of a couple hundred practitioners was trickling out into the lobby and gardens. We walked into the nearly emptied meditation hall, and I explained the revered pictures of Yogananda’s guru lineage to Josh, who was not familiar with SRF. The avatars were on display at the altar, front and center: Jesus, Krishna, Babaji, Mahasaya, Yukteswar, and Yogananda himself.
We returned to the lobby and huddled together, and I said: “Gentlemen, one day we will have an AYP center of this size and magnitude.” They chuckled, and then we sauntered down a zig-zagged terrace of steps to the sizable pond below. There was a smaller chapel on the far side of the lake, away from the bookstore, gift shop, and museum. We decided to meditate inside the quaint structure, which was palpably serene and quiet.
After our 20-minute session and short rest, we emerged again into the open air, and lo and behold, all the rain and dark clouds had dissipated! Our inner housecleaning had been echoed by the clear light of consciousness and the sun shining down upon us. Score!
That night, we crashed in a 4-star hotel, thanks to the spectacular discount Chas receives for being a pilot with a major airline. Before bedtime, we found our way to the hot tub on the roof. We conversed about cosmic consciousness and supernormal powers (siddhis). I was feeling pretty joyful, and once I finally got to lay down and share a luxurious bed with Josh, I laughed raucously and convulsively for about ten minutes straight. He uttered words of tolerance and approval as I unwound obstructions through my bout of sober euphoria. He understood.
The next day Chas, Bobby, and I went to watch the filming of the Conan O’Brien show in Burbank. Being a big fan of Conan, and having watched many hours of his show on TV and YouTube, it was surreal to see him in the flesh. In a strange way, he almost seemed more distant in my real-time vision than when seen on the flat screen of my smartphone. I guess I was secretly yearning to shake his hand, to have a face-to-face conversation, to make it realer than just being an audience member. Oh well, the experience was still enjoyable, and much appreciated, and besides, before the show, the three of us climbed up a steep hill near the studio and meditated together—high above the monstrous power lines and the concrete-encased Los Angeles River flowing below. Another notch in the belt of AYP’s fledgling satsang.
Chas had to fly out the next morning, and after he left, Bobby and I hiked a strenuous trail called “The Vital Link” in Wildwood Canyon Park. The elevation rises over a thousand feet in less than a mile when traversed on foot. Very sharp inclines are marked by the consistent 45-degree angle of the upward surge. At the top of one of the peaks, we took in a sweeping 360-degree view that revealed Santa Catalina Island off the Pacific coast, as well as the more inland mountains of Angeles National Forest to the east. We enjoyed the vast silence for a while. Like pure bliss consciousness, the space seemed to stretch infinitely.
On the way down, Bobby started shuffle-jogging, and I kept pace with him. Before long, he was sprinting at full speed with pogo-like legs. I felt exhilarated and charged, so I, too, hit the accelerator and let my senses become super-heightened as the pull of gravity dragged me gracefully downhill—bouncing off chalky rock and dirt the whole way…feeling fully alive and capable.
Later on, I was dying to get my hands on a guitar, so I dropped Bobby off at the beach and swung by a music store, where I found an acoustic Gibson in the high-end section of the shop. I felt so relieved, like a junkie finally getting a fix. As I was picking and thumping and singing, a Hispanic man approached me and asked for advice on what guitar to buy. His broken English made me desperately wish that I was fluent in Spanish, but I managed to convey a few hints despite the language barrier. He said he liked the looks and sound of the Gibson I was playing, so I handed it over to him. He strummed a few chords, and I told him that he was a natural. As I was leaving, I also told him that he couldn’t make a wrong decision—they were all superbly crafted instruments. He had eager eyes and a childlike smile. It’s random encounters with people like him that keep me motivated to open myself to strangers.
Farther down the road, I found an Asian massage parlor [Note: Not the “happy endings” kind]. Behind a partitioned wall in the front area, the hidden interior was like a miniature factory, with about 25 low-level couch-tables scrunched together in perfectly aligned rows. However, I saw only two customers receiving rubdowns. The cashier up front assigned me to one of the many free tables, and from behind a backroom curtain, a short Asian man emerged like a stealthy ninja, carrying a bucket of hot water for me to submerge my feet in. As I was soaking my feet, he worked on my shoulders and neck. Then he had me raise my arms so he could interlock them with his own and do some crazy, turbo stretches that I had never experienced before. He was like a pretzel magician. After that, I lay down, and he hit all the major spots any therapist would usually cover, but once again, he threw in some new tricks that I will definitely try to mimic and incorporate when I start massage school in March. It was an hour-long session, and when I arose and opened my eyes, I was stunned to see the entire room full of customers! I had only heard a few whispers the whole time, but the parlor had nevertheless been silently and magically flooded in the interim. What a marvelous and efficient operation they were running! When I went to pay at the register, the cashier said: “25 dollars.” It was undoubtedly a real bargain, considering the amount of work the therapist had applied to my muscles. I gave a $15 tip.
I scooped Bobby up again, and we ate dinner at a restaurant called Baby Blues BBQ. It was Southern cooking transplanted to the West Coast. I ordered a beef brisket sandwich, an Arnold Palmer (which is non-alcoholic sweet iced tea mixed with lemonade), and a piece of buttermilk pie. Above our table, mounted on the wall, was a surf board with a painted rendition of Johnny Cash extending his middle finger in flippant defiance. Our waitress was from New York. She winked at me and called us “love bugs”. Bobby ordered a second helping of his main course, and he looked totally blazed from the edible marijuana he had ingested earlier. I, of course, was sober, at least in the sense of being free of entheogenic stimuli.
After dinner, Bobby wanted to take me to the campus of Loyola Marymount, where I was originally scheduled to teach an AYP workshop for the master’s program of yoga studies there (before Bobby’s hiatus had altered the plan). We were coming full circle, and how timely it was, given that I was on the last night of my trip.
We shuffled up a side path and moved effortlessly though the sublime night. The campus was pristine in many aspects. It was such a contrast to the grimy boardwalk of Venice. We made our way to the most central academic building, which was open. It resembled a massive mall or corporate complex. There were multiple escalators connecting three floors, with a wide foyer that stretched for hundreds of yards. Along the rectangular perimeter were various departments, classrooms, and faculty offices. There were marble columns, glass walls, and even indoor trees scattered throughout the facility. It was state-of-the-art, and dripping with Jesuit money.
As we were leaving campus, we swung by Bobby’s former dormitory, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw his old roommate in the late-night laundry room. We kept going, due to a need to maintain an incognito presence. We returned to the rental car. My mind felt crystal clear and calm. Some kind of reconciliation and future premonition had occurred, though I couldn’t explain it definitively.
The next morning, en route to check out of the Jolly Roger Hotel in Marina Del Ray, Bobby projectile-vomited in the corridor between our room and the lobby. The edibles had gotten the best of him. I quickly grabbed towels and cleaned up the mess. Fortunately, he was able to make it to the car. I dropped him off at Muscle Beach, where I had found him six days earlier. I hugged him and said: “Take care of yourself.”
I arrived at LAX and boarded a plane to San Francisco, where six years ago, I had gotten divorced, sobered up, and found AYP during the transformative onset of my Saturn Return.
In the next blog, I’ll write about what happened once the plane landed.
Thank you for reading.

Thanks for sharing Bodhi. Very interesting~ Vacay and AYP. I have never had an Arnold Palmer, need to try it.

Enjoyed reading you Californian day’s! Thank you for sharing Bodhi :slight_smile: :heart:

Thanks for sharing your CA trip; didn’t know about the SRF Lake Shrine Temple before, certainly worth a visit from photos on the internet. :pray:

Thanks for the CA trip description. Enjoyed it thoroughly. Even Oliver Sax was once part of the Muscle beach crowd.

[OM] Sunyata [OM] Charliedog [OM] DV2014 [OM] Jusmail [OM]
I forgot to mention a really neat restaurant that we ate at. It’s called Cafe Gratitude. For those with a “spiritual” diet, it’s certainly attractive, because the entire menu is vegetarian/vegan. What was also really clever is that each entree or dish is named with a positively-oriented adjective. So, for instance, I got a dish called “Extraordinary”, which is a vegetarian BLT wrap, with coconut bacon, shredded romaine, tomato, avocado, chipotle cashew aioli, whole wheat tortilla, and a side of Mexican coleslaw and radishes. And to order the dish, I had to say to the waitress: “I am Extraordinary.” I also said to the waitress: “I am Superb!” (which signifies a smoothie with coconut milk, dates, avocado, cacao powder, reishi, shilajit, mucuna, bee pollen, and vanilla bean). Here is the menu: http://cafegratitude.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/CG-Primary-Menu-AW-2015-V2.pdf
Modern dining mixed with affirmational self-inquiry. Pretty groovy. :sunglasses: